Inevitable
by Mafalda Hopkirk 21
Summary: I should have known. I should have known becoming best friends with James would have resulted in me falling in love with him, eventually. Everyone said we would in time - even my MUM who made bets about us. I should have known it was inevitable.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey! Welcome to my new story about James II and my OC, Milla. I have it all written because I HATE waiting for unfinished stories. Don't you? Anyhoo, I love the new gen stories because there's so much room for creativity. Hope you like it and read on! **

**Oh, and I'm only going to do one disclaimer for the story: I do not own, nor plan to profit from JKR's brilliant series. It's not mine!**

The sun was beating down in the balmy September weather and it was bloody hot out during a Quidditch practice. So, as per usual when it got too warm, James took off his shirt.

And this is where my troubles began.

I, Camilla Bancroft Hobbes, could not unfasten my eyes from James's broad expanse of chest. His musculature was the envy of every bloke and the drool-inspiring dream of every girl. FUCK. These thoughts shouldn't have been crossing my mind! He was my best friend, for Merlin's sake. I wasn't supposed to _notice _he was bloody… hot.

Erm, I mean handsome. That is something I can say. It's acceptable. Those other errant thoughts were forbidden, and James could only remain in the box labeled, "best friend" in my mind.

"MILLA!" came James deep voice and startled me out of my reverie. I snapped to and looked down at my broom guiltily. "Focus!"

Bloody James. He was such a strict Quidditch captain. Holy fuck. He needed to calm down. My eyes refocused on him as I was ready to retort wittily, but they glued on his broad shoulders again so I quickly cast them downward. Ugh.

I sighed deeply and Charlotte eyed me worriedly. I shook my head in a gesture saying, _We'll talk later, I'm fine. _She gave me a skeptical look but complied.

"Oi! Milla, Char, stop with the eye communication. Drives me mad," said James's best mate (after me, obviously), Ben. I rolled my eyes at Ben. That prat, Ben Thompson is. Gotta love him though, he did help _so much _with those pranks last Halloween.

I laughed good-naturedly. Suddenly Charlotte was off, trying to find the Snitch. Ruddy fast, she was. The Feints that girl could do on a broom. Merlin. I couldn't pull a Wronski like she could. No one could. Hence why we always won. Qudditch, I mean.

Charlotte – always Char – the name Charlotte has too many bloody syllables was one of my best friends. After James, of course. He was my closest friend, always had been. We grew up together. Our parents are really close and we took baths together as babies. Pretty pervy now, isn't it? Anyway, she and I were very close every since we got here at Hogwarts. Char is the eternal optimist – and despite her bloody fantastic Quidditch abilities (and obsession, I mean, her father _is _Oliver Wood), she really is a girly girl. She's completely brilliant and is a sweetie. She's shorter than me – I'm three inches taller (HAH!) – and has straight brown hair and brown eyes. She has such an athletic build – lean with good legs. All the blokes _fall over themselves _vying for her attention. But it's all for naught. She wants to find The One and began her search at the ripe old age of fifteen.

Not that I didn't believe in finding The One. I did. But I wasn't _actively _looking for him. I mean, I figured he'd pop up. At some point. Anyway,back to the the topic at hand. Char had a very precise description of The One, including a checklist. But she summed it up as, "He must be professional player for Puddlemere United, hot, tall, with blue eyes." Neat little summary, isn't it?

Few people seemed to fit Char's specifications for the perfect man. But never mind that, Char always kept on optimistically searching for Mr. Right.

As a Bludger whizzed past me, my ruminations were stopped and I focused on the game.

After a grueling practice, I hauled my gear back to the changing rooms. I peeled off my gear and took a nice, searing shower, the hot water soothing my aches from the long practice.

As I dressed after the shower, Char and I were chatting about my … strange thoughts during the practice.

Char looked at me with a knowing eye. "Okay, something happened, and you're going to tell me now."

I pulled on my shirt and said, "Nothing happened. I just had a weird moment and freaked."

Charlotte eyed me. "Yeah bloody right."

"Seriously!"

She swatted me on the arm. "Fine, Milla, but you won't be let off so easily next time."

I rolled my eyes. "Kay, Mum, I'm going to go find James."

I heard her calling after me, "I WILL FIND OUT SOONER OUR LATER!"

I strode out of the changing rooms and found James getting the last of the gear put away. "Oi! James!" I said loudly.

He turned and a big grin spread across his face. His brown eyes lit up at me.

"Milla, good practice. But you got a bit spacey there for a bit, yeah?"

I flushed slightly but said sarcastically, "If you weren't so bloody Fascist maybe I wouldn't need to drift off because I was exhausted!"

James glared. "I kick your arse into shape."

"HEY! Are you saying my arse is anything but? Or that I'M NOT GOOD AT QUIDDITCH?"

James smirked. "Yes, hence my need to treat you lot like shit so you work hard!"

I smacked him. "You're a ponce."

He grinned cheekily. "I know. But clearly you love it anyway, or you wouldn't be my best mate, would you?"

I pursed my lips. "Yes, I'm your best mate. But who said you were mine?"

James wrapped an arm around my shoulder. He leaned down and said into my ear, "I'm your best friend and unless you want me to tell Char and Miranda…"

I turned and smacked him again. "Idiot! You wouldn't dare!"

He laughed. "Wouldn't i?"

That dolt! He never stopped. But he knew he'd won. He had a supercilious smirk on his face.

I sighed melodramatically. "Oh fuck off, James. You don't need to rub it in."

"HAHA! I win!" he said triumphantly.

My irked expression softened a bit. James's antics never ceased to make me laugh. What a retard.

He squeezed me tightly and I leaned against his tall frame as we headed back to the castle. It really was a beautiful day for September. Last of the summer.

He looked down at him from his six foot three vantage point (damn him! He's bloody nine inches taller than me!) and his brown eyes sparkled mischievously as he said, "So, what were you and Char discussing in the changing rooms? The millions of girls who are so fucking annoying and always fawn over me? My gorgeous body?"

I smacked him upside the head.

"HEY!" he cried, rubbing his head.

"You're a right git, you know that? Arrogant bastard," I chastised. What a ruddy idiot. So vain.

He gave me a grin and said, "You know it's true."

Well, fuck me, it was, but I wasn't going to let him know. First of all it wasn't allowed under the laws of being best friends with a bloke. Second, he was joking and he knew I knew he was. Third, he had enough attention from the gaggles of girls who drooled all over him.

I gave a groan and hit him again. "Oi, what am I going to do with you?"

He opened the door for me, and put his hand on the small of my back, leading me up the stairs to Gryffindor common room.

As I walked in, I noticed Miranda with Livvy Thomas – no doubt gossiping – and was just about to cross the room and talk to them when I felt James lean down and mutter in my ear, "Watch out for those girls over there. They're staring at me."

I looked out of the corner of my eye and spotted some Sixth Years who were staring at James. Maura Something-or-Other, and Bailey Jameston? Johnson? Who the fuck knows? Obviously I didn't.

I gave a noise that came out as, "ugh." James had a scowl on his face. There really were too many girls fawning over James these days. Well, it really started last year, at the end of Sixth Year, when people noticed James was, erm, you know. Anyway, it really pissed me off. All these people were really fucking annoying. They constantly sought out his attention, lavished him in over-the-top flirtation, and tried to get him to look their way. James didn't really. There was the odd girl here or there, but mostly he ignored them.

Thank Merlin. I wouldn't want my best friend to be manipulated by these simpering idiots.

Goodness.

I looked up at him and said earnestly, "I know it's annoying but just ignore them. They're idiots. And we graduate this year. Then they're gone."

James gave me a grateful look. "Thanks, Milla," he said affectionately, giving me a hug. "You always know what to say."

I smiled widely and then gestured to Miranda. "James, I'm going to go chat with Miranda, okay? I'll see you in bit. Hey, I see Luke over there!"

James laughed and shooed me off. Luke was Charlotte's twin, and he was the Beater on the team. He was also James's and Ben's close mate. He looked _exactly _like Charlotte. But nothing like his older sister Caroline. Kind of ironic.

Anyway, I strolled over to Miranda and Livvy. "Hey, Miranda, Livvy," I said cheerfully.

Miranda raised a sardonic eyebrow. "You're in a bloody good mood. Those stupid endorphins after your much. Well, it'd take more than that to cheer me up right now. I need some fucking anti-depressants. I just found out we're getting a two foot Charms essay due!"

"Oh, whatever," I replied happily. "Doesn't matter. I'll just copy off you."

Miranda groaned and glared at me. "Too right you are, you idiot."

"HEY! It's not MY fault I suck at Charms. You always get to copy my DADA work!" I retorted huffily.

Livvy quickly interjected, "Oh, it's okay, you two. I've done mine! So you can both do it."

I smiled warmly at Livvy. Always loved that girl. Bloody insane, though. Who does an assignment as soon as it's due?

Miranda's facial expression softened a bit, but she grimaced, "Still. Don't want to do it. Anyway, how was Quidditch?"

I smiled. "Good, but so grueling. James is a damn Nazi!"

Livvy yawned. "Nothing new, then."

I frowned. "I know. Too bad."

Suddenly Char's bright voice wafted over the din of the common room. "Hi! So what's going on here?"

Miranda grinned. "Complaining, as usual."

Char rolled her eyes. "Of course. You always do. You're so bloody sarcastic."

This was true. Miranda Longbottom was _very _sarcastic and slightly cynical. I loved her though – she was so funny with her sardonic jabs. She was very witty and wasn't a huge fan of Quidditch (but we forced her to watch matches even though she rolled her green eyes.) She was an avid runner though. Everyday, she ran. It was really impressive, actually. She had wavy brown hair and was a bit shorter than Charlotte. She took after her mother, mostly, Hannah Abbott.

As I got lost once again in my thoughts – that seemed to be happening a lot today – I felt the murmur of familiar conversation around me and felt oddly comfortable.

I even almost forgot about thinking James was hot. Almost.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Why did I notice James? WHY? I never did before! I mean, of course I knew he was handsome – as is allowed by best friends' code, which is law, as important and sacred as a blood pact – but he'd really gotten ripped. I mean, there was no other word for it.

Maybe dishy?

Ah well, that's to be expected of an avid Quidditch player, I suppose. There's nothing else to say. Speaking of which, where was that bugger? I craned my neck and looked around the room. Ah, speaking to Ben and Luke! Of course.

"Oi! James!"

His eyes immediately searched for me and he smiled as he spotted me. "Milla?"

I waved my hand. "Get over here. I need help with Ancient Runes. Help me, yeah?"

He strode over and plopped down next to me on the plushy couch. I automatically rested my head on his shoulder in our customary position as he explained how to translate a particularly difficult Rune.

"Ohh, so THAT'S how you do it. Wasn't quite sure."

James moved my hair off his face that had hit him as I spun my head.

"Whoops. Sorry."

He grinned, "Nothing unusual."

"True. And you need to do the rest of your Charms essay! Come on, I'll help you."

He squeezed me lightly. "You're the best. You know I'd fail without you."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but well… yeah. You see, I don't hate you so much that I want you to fail."

That earned me a light whack. "Bloody bint."

"Hey, don't insult me or you'll be getting a T on your next essay," I said with a raised eyebrow.

James looked at me disbelievingly. "You wouldn't do that to me."

"Oh, but I would. I don't help people who insult me. That's not usually how one usually curries favor with a person. There's this thing called courtesy."

James lifted an eyebrow. "Which I have none of."

"Precisely."

"It's nice to know you think so highly of me," he said sardonically.

"Yes, I hold you in highest esteem, O Great One," I injected as much sarcasm as I could.

"Shut up."

"Okay, you dolt, time to focus."

As per usual, I just ended up writing his essay myself because we always got sidetracked and it was too bloody frustrating to teach James what to say.

Later that evening at dinner, I was discussing the wedding of Teddy and Victoire, which I had attended with my family and the Potters. We were, of course, in the middle of a long talk on The One, obviously started by Charlotte.

"It's so perfect. Best friends falling in love," Charlotte sighed and clasped her hands, a dreamy expression on her face.

Miranda wrinkled her nose. "That's so bloody cliché."

Char looked affronted. "It is not! It's the perfect love story. _I _want that. I can't wait until that happens to me. Victoire is so lucky. Her perfect other half was there… all along. Either that or those stories where the people hate each other than fall in love. Both are _so _romantic."

Miranda snorted. "In books. And okay, Victoire is a rare exception."

Ah, Miranda, ever the cynic.

I piped up, "Like Lily and James, James's grandparents. They fell in love after Lily hated James."

Char looked wistful. "Hmm, maybe I'll marry someone I hate? Well, as long as he plays for Puddlemere. He needs to fit my list!"

Miranda laughed. "Oh, Char, what am I going to do with you? I don't believe in that shit. You find someone you love and that's it. I don't like the other cheesy stuff. It's pure flummery. It's not real."

I was somewhere in between the two of them. I wasn't a hard-eyed cynic who completely disregarded the concept of a soulmate. I believed in them. But I wasn't the dreamy-eyed romantic – Charlotte – who was so idealistic and I didn't have a list. I just kind of bumbled along, walking a middle path.

Char retorted, "Miranda, when you fall in love, you'll know what I'm saying."

Miranda looked skeptical. "Oh, and you're in love, are you?" 

Char glared. "Shut up. It WILL happen."

Ah, dear Charlotte. She really was the eternal optimist. Which, in a world of cynicism, was refreshing.

Miranda looked imploringly at me. "Please, say something before she melts into a puddle of romantic drivel."

Char said bitingly, "If you do, I'll tell James to do make you do laps next practice!"

I said, choosing my words carefully, " Well, I think that we all have that special person. You know I don't have a bloody checklist Char – that is really over the top. But Miranda, I think he's out there."

They both looked mollified. Score!

Char clapped her hands, her brown ponytail bouncing. "So tell us! How are Teddy and Victoire getting on?" 

I noticed, smugly, even Miranda looked interested.

"They're good. They had a fab honeymoon, apparently."

Char let out a giggle. "I'm sure they had an _excellent _honeymoon – have you SEEN Teddy? Bloody gorgeous. And Bora Bora is supposed to be lovely this time of year –"

"Who's gorgeous?" cut in Ben smoothly as he plopped down next to Char.

"Oh, Teddy!" Miranda said, in an imitation of Char's elated voice.

"Be nice," I chided mildly.

I felt someone flick me on the shoulder. "James," I said happily. "Good, I need to talk to you."

He looked concerned. "About what?"

"Well, first, pass me the Pumpkin juice, please."

He handed it over, looking expectantly at me.

"Oh, well just to tell you Luke said he couldn't make the match with Ravenclaw in two weeks. He has a detention."

James had a hard look on his face. "WHAT?" he exploded.

I put my hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "It will be fine. The reserve is a good player –"

"He's not Luke!"

"Ellis, the reserve, is perfectly fine!"

"BUT-"

"There's nothing to be done!" I shouted, over him.

He shut his mouth. "Yes, but still. Why! Where is he? We need to speak."

I pursed my lips. "You can later. You clearly are worked up. You and I need to go have a chat. Come on."

"But it's dinner –"

But I firmly grasped his forearm and dragged him from the Great Hall. "It can wait."

I linked my arm through his said the password to the Fat Lady. She let us in and I pulled him by the hand, firmly holding his in mine so he couldn't escape, up to the his dormitory.

I pushed him down onto his bed and sat down next to him. He threw his head onto his pillow in exasperation. I fitted myself snugly in the crook of his arm, lying my head on his chest, my blonde hair splaying out around my face. James fingered it absently, lost in thought.

"James," I said.

He looked at me, his brown eyes worried. "Yeah?"

"You'll be fine. I promise."

He looked skeptical. "I will?"

"I'm your best friend, yes?"

He said slowly, "Yes, of course you are."

"And you trust me?"

"Yes. Obviously."

"Have I ever led you astray?"

"No."

"So listen to me. Ellis can sub in for Luke and everything will be brilliant." I rubbed his arm soothingly.

He looked like he was about to argue, but he stopped. He just looked at me and said finally, "Okay. I suppose."

"I know you're freaking out about the match, but you're a brilliant captain. Everything will work out. You've been working us so hard we know the plays in our sleep."

He smiled weakly. "I know. I'm sorry to have been brutal, but I want everyone ready."

"See? You're good. And Luke _is _sorry," I added.

He smiled ruefully. "I know. He's my mate. He's such a bloody prankster though."

"That's Luke for you."

He twirled a bit of my hair around his finger. "I know. The bloke is nuts."

"I know."

And we sat in comfortable silence, lost in our thoughts.

Two days later in History of Magic I was sitting in complete and utter boredom when Miranda tapped me on the shoulder.

I eyed Binns (how in the bloody hell was he still teaching here? He was like 4,000 years old) warily and said in a low voice, "What's up?"

"Hayden Stiles is trying to give you a note."

I perked up slightly. "Huh?"

Miranda rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Look over your shoulder!"

I turned surreptitiously and saw Hayden smiling at me. He sent a note flying my way. I caught it by leaning left, almost falling out of my chair. Bloody fuck. I'm such a klutz.

_Hobbes, _

_Can I borrow some parchment?_

_Hayden_

_P.S. You look nice today. _

I automatically smiled. Well, this was something. Gotta love attention from blokes, right?

Miranda looked over my shoulder and read it, smirking. She would. Bitch.

She whispered in my ear, "That's bullshit."

"Shut up. I don't see you with a note."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly. I quickly pulled out a slip of parchment and another sheet for him (was he just talking me up to get paper? I hoped not. That would be bloody embarrassing.) I penned a response:

_Stiles,_

_Here's your parchment. Bring your own next time! Tsk. _

_Milla_

_P.S. Thanks._

Well, that was sufficiently awkward. I turned back and tossed it to Hayden with a little grin. I even flipped my hair a little. Well, this was fun. I could flirt. I could date (FINALLY! James never let me. Stupid overprotective brother-like figure.) I would be sought after by everyone. I would be the talk of –

"MISS HOBBES! Pay attention! This is immensely important! It's the Goblin Wars of 1667!" cried Binns.

My eyes snapped back to look at Binns and I felt guilty. I felt bad. No one paid attention to his boring lectures. I sat quietly as I could, and only dozed off once.

In the last five minutes, Miranda shoved a note in front of me. From Stiles, again.

_Thanks. _

_I owe you one. Maybe I'll let you win the next Quidditch match?_

I smiled despite myself. He was so bloody clichéd. I mean, come on, I knew he was one of the most fanatical Quidditch players (he was on the Ravenclaw team – Beater), well, at least besides James. James was as bad as they got. Like Charlotte. Psh.

Suddenly Binns said loudly, ending his seemingly ceaseless monologue, "Class dismissed. See you all Thursday."

I stood up, gathering my books, while discussing the implications of the note-passing with Miranda.

Her sagacious comment: "He fancies you."

Well, no shit, Sherlock.

I really needed to discuss this with Char. She would know the meanings of every little word, every gesture. She was like the fucking genius on these important topics.

I laughed and said, "Thanks. You're brilliant."

She smiled and I turned to James.

He was looking at me, a frown on his face. Bloody overprotective prat of a best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hey, Milla?" said Luke inquiringly.

I looked up from my toast, only half paying attention. I never was really awake until noon. Not a morning person, obviously.

"Yeah?"

"How did James take the news?"

That got my attention. "WHAT?" I screeched.

Luke recoiled.

"YOU HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO HIM ABOUT IT YET?"

I was furious. How could James's best mate seem apologetic for cocking up and getting detention during a _huge _Quidditch match if he was ignoring James? What kind of fucked up logic was that?

Luke said meekly, "Er…no, I've rather been avoiding him."

He looked at me guiltily. I glared.

"You'd better say something to him or he's going to fucking _murder _you," I said scathingly. How could he! The bleeding idiot.

"I know."

"He will physically mutilate you."

Luke paled further. "I know."

"More than that, Charlotte will be his accomplice. She will personally make sure you will never have children."

Luke turned white as a sheet. "I know."

I simply glared at him. I crossed my arms and just sat there in silence, looking indignantly at him. The bloody mental… idiotic… mad…moronic… the list went on and on. He was bloody stupid, that's what.

After a pregnant silence, during which Luke looked increasingly ashamed, he chose to spoke. See? I was right. Silence is louder than words.

Oh, the wisdom I have. Or rather, that the old adages carry.

He said with trepidation, "I'm sorry, Milla. Really, I am. I know I've royally fucked up. I'll go talk to him."

I raised an eyebrow. "When? He'll be down soon."

"Later?"

I glared. Wrong answer.

"Er, I'll just find him now, shall I?"

My stony look softened a bit. Poor sod. I said, less harshly, "James is your best mate. He'll understand. Plus, I've already spoken to him, so he's calmed down a bit."

His face relaxed. "Thanks, Milla, you're the best."

I smiled smugly. "I know. Okay, go!"

I shooed him off. He went and I called after him, "You owe me one!"

Humph. Stupid bloody boys. When will they learn?

Later that day, during a break, I was doing work in the common room when Charlotte came running up to me. She had just finished Ancient Runes.

"Hey, Camilla," she said with a stern expression.

Oh, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Whenever she used my first name (never), something momentous had happened or she was mad. By my brilliant powers of deduction, I realized she knew about what Luke had done. Oh, he was _so _done for.

Okay, better just to tell her and circumvent her anger before it reared its ugly head.

"Okay, so basically Luke did something and got detention and he can't play in the Ravenclaw match. James isn't happy, but he's not furious."

Char looked mutinous. "What a fucking idiot."

Well, that summed it up well. "I know."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I looked remorsefully at her. "Sorry. I meant to, but with everything and me having to calm down James before he killed your brother, I just didn't have time."

Char looked mollified at the thought of me having to deal with James. And she calls herself my best mate. Psh. Not bloody likely.

"You aren't supposed to look elated at the thought of me dealing with an irate James," I said wryly.

She looked pointedly at me. "And since when do I do what I'm _supposed _to do?"

"True."

"Anyway," she continued, "I will be killing Luke soon, but not before James gets to him."

I glanced at her and said, "Thank you, Captain Obvious. You have so edified me."

"Shut up."

I smiled. See? We had a great friendship.

Char's eyes lit up as she exclaimed, "So, I've added another requirement to my list."

I looked at her blankly. "List?"

She looked at me in shock. "THE list. My marriage requirement list. Duh."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh" was my length response.

"I was reading _Witch Weekly _and they were discussing how if men give us carnations on a date, they aren't hubby material."

Oh, for God's sake. Isn't there a limit when the list gets too long and the requisites too specific/outrageous?

I mean, for Merlin's sake, there would be no one to fit the bloody requirements. Charlotte would have to make a cardboard cutout of her dream man and marry _him. _How did a Quidditch aficionado become a husband hunter too? And at our age! Char was so weird.

Char glared. "Don't give me that look. I know you think I'm ridiculous. Merlin knows what Miranda thinks at this point. But I know he's out there. I know it. And when you end up alone with a cat or a Pygmy Puff or some other ridiculously pathetic pet I will laugh at you."

She finished her speech with a triumphant look. I just stared at her. She really had gone off the edge. Time to owl St. Mungo's.

Suddenly my eye caught the time. FUCK! Time for class.

"Char, gotta go. Love you, but you're crazy." And with that, I left speedily for Care of Magical Creatures.

_Milla darling,_

_Hope term is going well. We miss you. Daddy says hi and he will write you soon (don't worry, I'll make him). I hope you're doing well in your classes – don't get too strung up on Quidditch. Although Merlin knows James is eons worse than you. By the way, Ginny is with me and wants me to ask you to keep an eye on James. She doesn't want him to run mad, in her words. If James is reading this, tell him I love him and that his mum is saying this. _

_Please keep an eye on Ian too. He hasn't written me yet! I haven't heard much from you either, come to think of it. Tsk tsk, Camilla Bancroft. You should be writing your mummy often. You did come out of me, you know. _

_Anyways, I hope everything is going well. Say hi to Charlotte and Miranda for me. _

_Love, _

_Mum_

Ah! Why did Mum have to be so crude? I knew I bloody came out of her. She didn't need to write it in a letter! And I did need to check on Ian. Hmm. Hadn't seen him in three days.

That's probably not a good thing.

I scanned my eyes around the room for him. Ah, there he was.

"Ian! Get over here!"

Yes, I was a good sister. I just was…forthright. Yes, that was it.

He grumbled and walked over. "What, Milla?"

"Mum wants you to write her."

He rolled his eyes. "She always does."

I grinned. " I know. It's the same every year. Anyway, how are you getting on? Haven't seen you in three days."

He looked at me incredulously. "So?"

Bloody impertinent Fifth Year. "I care about you, you tosser! You're my brother."

"Unfortunately." 

"HEY!" I exclaimed.

He smiled. "I know. And I'm fine. So much bloody work…"

I smiled sympathetically. "I know. It blows."

He winced. "I've been assigned three Transfiguration papers."

"Ouch."

I patted him on the shoulder and said, "I have to go. Quidditch practice."

Ian rolled his eyes. "That's nothing new."

I grinned, "I know. Gotta love it."

The next week I had five Quidditch practices. FIVE. That's a lot. James was ruddy mad. Why did he need to kill me with exercise? Death by Quidditch, that was new.

On top of that, NEWT work was piling up. Stupid professors thought they "had to work us hard this year so we would succeed in our careers."

Well who gives a flying fuck about careers? That was … in the future. Didn't concern me.

So between classes and Quidditch I had no time. I was so incredibly busy, all the time. It was unbelievable. Char, Miranda and I had taken to exchanging assignments and copying each others for everything (James naturally copied everything I did – nothing had changed).

After a particularly difficult and strenuous Quidditch practice Thursday night, I had finally changed and was getting ready to head back to the castle when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw James. I gave him a look, clearly communicating my frustration with such a grueling workout (even if it kept me in shape).

He had the good grace to look slightly shameful but said lightly, "Milla, let's go for a walk. It's nice out tonight. Will be one of the only warm nights left."

I relaxed a bit and leaned into his arm, which was slung casually around me. He began to lead me around the lake. It was nearing dark, the hazy dusk that bathes everything in a soft glow. Some stars were visible, and their reflections were shimmering in the water. It was a beautiful evening. I sighed contentedly. James gave me an intense look, and I felt completely serene.

These moments were the best. Just me and James.

We went on walks often after practice, to talk and vent and anything else that needed a release. It was better than a therapy session. We talked all the time, but these seemed to be very therapeutic talks.

"So how was your day?" inquired James, his dark eyes looking down at me.

"Stressful. Bloody Neville and all that work he assigned. And I have a Binns essay to write. And then Quidditch on top of that. It's been a hard week. It's a tough year," I admitted.

James squeezed me. " I know, but once it's over, we're out."

I smiled slightly. "I know. I wonder about afterward. The future."

James looked pensive. "It'll be fun. You and me and our jobs. We can do whatever we want. It'll be great. We can be with Ben and Char and Luke and Miranda and we can all hang all the time."

I smiled. "It'll be good, I think. You know, it gets me wondering. About everything. What we'll be. Where we'll live in London. Who we'll marry."

James looked slightly surprised. "Marry? You're thinking about marriage? That's a Charlotte thing to say."

I grinned. "Char got me thinking earlier. She's always on about it. It's hard _not _to think about it."

James shrugged. "Who knows? We'll probably marry someone from Hogwarts, I s'pose."

I smiled wistfully. "Hopefully."

James gave me a strange look. "Why? Found your future husband already? Why haven't I been told?"

I punched him lightly on the arm. "Don't be ridiculous. It's just fun to speculate."

James looked at me oddly again. "Speaking of which… I've been meaning to tell you something."

I looked up, shocked. "What's up? You're getting married?"

He laughed. "Not bloody likely. No, but I've just started dating someone."

My jaw dropped and I'm sure my eyes bugged. "WHAT?"

James looked a bit sheepish. "Yeah, you know that Ravenclaw Lucia Thomas? The dark-haired one?"

"Yes…" I said cautiously.

"Well, it's her."

_Her. _Bloody Lucia. She was dark and exotic and pretty. She wasn't that smart – of average intelligence. I wasn't friends with her either, just amicable from classes over the years.

"Oh," I said dumbly.

James looked at me intensely. "You okay?"

I looked at him guiltily. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just a bit shocked."

James squeezed me. "I know, but she's nice. You'll like her once you know her better."

"It's not that I dislike her," I hastily amended, "It's just that.. this is so weird. I just have to get used to it."

James was dating. I couldn't believe it. How… when… _why _did this happen? _Lucia Thomas? _Really? She was pretty, I grant you, but nothing special. Not James's type, that's for sure. I felt a pang. I suddenly felt tears pricking my eyes, for some ridiculous reason. I blinked them away and took a deep breath. I was overreacting. I was being bloody ridiculous.

I needed to pull myself together. Come on, Milla, what's wrong with you!

I shoved my hands in my pockets and took another deep breath. Suddenly James's arm around my shoulder felt like a heavy weight, his feel branding my back and shoulders. I shrugged him off without realizing it. Fuck. He would know something was wrong now. Quickly! Do something to rectify this disaster.

I pasted a fake social smile on my face. Thank Merlin it was nearing dark or he'd see right through it. Damn James and him knowing me too well. Bloody fuck.

I said, with a false cheeriness, "James, I'm happy for you. Truly. You and Lucia will make a good couple. She's such a unique person!"

That last part, at least, was true. Thank God for the ambiguity of the English language, and our ability to manipulate it to bandy double entendres. Lucia was … unique. At least, in my sense of the definition, unique was retarded, weird, strange, bad, and any other negative adjective.

I felt slightly better.

James said slowly, "Milla, are you sure you're okay with this? I know it's a lot to take in…"

I laughed loudly. Too loudly. James knew it was fake. He knew I knew he knew. Oh, fuck this.

I sobered up. "Look, I'm happy you've found someone to date. Really. I just need to get used to this."

Please buy this. Please.

James looked at me skeptically, but seemed to accept my shitty excuse. I had bought myself some time, at least, to accustom myself to this new occurrence. Ugh.

We walked back to the castle, chatting about anything but Lucia, me giving halfhearted responses as I mulled over my many thoughts. But one question kept going round and round in my mind.

Why Lucia?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"HE WHAT?" Miranda shouted as soon as I announced the news of the new happy couple.

"Yes," I confirmed grimly. I felt dismayed. Still. And shocked. The news hadn't quite sunk in yet.

Char was staring jaw-dropped.

"What a wanker. You know I love him, but he can be so bloody stupid. Lucia? Lucia Thomas?" said Miranda.

"Exactly. There's nothing _wrong _with her, but she's… I don't know. I can't quite put my finger on it."

Miranda nodded. "I know what you mean. There's just something fishy about her. I don't like her. But she hasn't been rude to me ever, so I don't have a reason to dislike her."

I hugged her appreciatively. "Thanks for your support."

Finally Charlotte opened her mouth as if to speak, then shut it again. After a moment, she said carefully, "And how do you feel about this?"

I shrugged morosely. "I'm not happy about it. James is my best friend, and she'll try to usurp my place, like all the others who have dated him."

Char nodded, a gleam in her eye. "I wonder…"

I looked at her. "What?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing, I'm sure."

I shrugged. "Okay. Anyway, do you like Lucia? She's such a bint."

Char shook her head profusely and shuddered. "She's horrid."

I smiled. "Thanks."

They shared an affectionate look and Char hugged me.

I said, "You know, it's not even the fact that James is dating. We all do. We all will date. That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that it's LUCIA he's dating. I just… urgh. She's so fucking irritating."

Miranda looked sadly at me. "I know. No one likes this. Ben pulled me aside this morning and told me he was shocked to find out they were an item."

Char nodded. "Luke said pretty much the same thing to me."

Miranda added, "So if it's any consolation to you, no one likes this predicament. It's bloody unfortunate. I hope James comes round soon."

I smiled wistfully. "Me too. Me too."

Things only got worse in DADA. Professor Hennings was rambling about the Unforgivable Curses and I couldn't stop watching James and Lucia. First off, James hadn't sat with me at breakfast. Nor had he walked me to DADA, as usual.

I should've expected this. It was always the same when he dated someone, until they inevitably broke up and things went back to normal.

Clearly, I didn't like people taking up my time with James. Well, it wasn't fair. No one should be allowed to come in and try to overtake me when I'd known him my whole life.

Of course, the dense sod didn't even realize his hair-brained girlfriends tried to do this. He bumbled along blindly assuming everything was namby-pamby. Well, he was wrong.

I gave a low growl when Lucia giggled loudly at something James ostensibly said. Bloody chit.

I looked angrily down at my notes unseeingly. Fuck her.

Calm down, Milla, calm down. Breathe. It's just James's girlfriend.

Suddenly I felt Miranda put a reassuring hand on my arm. I looked gratefully at her.

I forced myself to concentrate on what Hennings was saying. Something about Cruciatus? I wasn't quite sure. I just couldn't focus.

My eyes kept darting over to James and Lucia. Her dark hair was swinging attractively when she laughed at James. Merlin, could her flirting get any more obvious?

No, it could, apparently.

She had just laid an arm on James's chest. In class. IN CLASS. Why didn't she just shag him now and get it over with? Christ.

I felt my fists clench involuntarily. What a whore. She needed to fucking become a prostitute already.

This really was bloody annoying.

And it continued all day. All day. I didn't think it was possible for people to flirt for so long. Didn't they get tired or something? This was unnatural.

Nevertheless, I managed to keep this inner rage inside. I tried to behave fairly normally to James and everyone else. I only let myself explode when I was alone with Charlotte and Miranda, who patiently listened to my incessant ranting during breaks.

It was a stress outlet, that's for sure.

"Ugh! So annoying. How could he date her? Did you SEE them today?" I complained, thoroughly pissed off.

Miranda looked at me sympathetically. "I know, it's really irritating. And obnoxious."

Char nodded in agreement. "It's so grotesque. Like get a fucking room. _My _husband will not be so disgusting."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course."

Miranda said, bless her, "Char, not the time. We can discuss husbands at another time. When Milla isn't annoyed."

Char looked sheepish. I hugged her impulsively. "Thanks, guys," I said affectionately.

Miranda smiled. "Of course."

At dinner, Lucia sat with us at the Gryffindor table. Awkward.

Ben and Luke looked discomfited. They sat silently, sharing significant looks while James glared at them. I toyed with my pasta, trying to avoid speaking to Lucia or looking at James. This was so fucking weird.

Lucia was simpering and pressing herself intimately close to James. I was on the other side of James and he kept trying to catch my attention. I ignored each attempt and determinedly avoided his gaze.

"Miranda," I said loudly, "What's our Potions homework?"

Before she could respond, James grabbed my arm and pulled me next him. I could feel his muscular side against me and I winced as I crashed into his side.

He muttered in my ear, "Milla, what the fuck is going on?"

Suddenly I felt indignant. Why was he asking _me _what was going on? HE was the one with the whore of a girlfriend.

"Nothing," I whispered back, slightly coldly.

He searched my face and I softened slightly. It was hard to be mad at James. "Milla."

I said softly, "Really, it's nothing. Talk to Lucia before she thinks something is up."

He nodded and shifted his attention back to Lucia. I sighed heavily and recommenced conversation with Miranda.

Ben interrupted us. "Milla, when's our next patrol?"

Oh yes, did I forget to mention? I was a Prefect. So was Ben.

"It's in two days," I answered with a grimace.

Ben groaned. "Great. I _love _patrolling."

"I know," I agreed. It did suck.

Everything sucked.

Suddenly everything was quiet. Awkwardly quiet. After a few moments of this unbearable silence, Luke took pity on the group and announced at large, "So my detention was fun. Too bad about the Quidditch match….bloody Ravenclaw. Oh… sorry Lucia," he added belatedly, but halfheartedly.

Did I forget to mention how much I loved Luke at the moment? He was such a dear. Like Char.

This comment got James talking. His face hardened a bit and he said, "Well, Luke, if you weren't so bloody stupid you wouldn't have gotten –"

This was enough. I cut him off shortly, "Enough James. We've been over this."

For good measure, I gave him a cold scowl. He faltered a bit and looked sheepish.

Lucia apparently felt ignored and had the need to put in her two cents to the conversation. "Jamesie, you won't play harshly against Ravenclaw will you?" 

Wow. I was surprised she knew what 'harshly' meant.

Okay, okay, I knew I was being mean. The girl was smart enough, if not brilliant. She wasn't some dumb bimbo. I had to give her that.

Despite this, I found myself making a face which Miranda caught and she coughed loudly, masking a laugh. This caused me to laugh which I unsuccessfully tried to turn into a hacking cough. James saw right through this and looked at me pointedly. I stopped immediately. I blushed slightly. Fuck.

He said warmly to Lucia, "Of course not, Lucia. But we'll do our best. We'll play fairly." 

HA. Like hell. James would push us to the brink to win. My God, what was this girl _doing _to him? He wasn't behaving like himself around her.

I stabbed a piece of pasta angrily and Char looked amused by my anger.

Ugh, what a day.

Later in the common room Livvy came up to me and asked where Miranda was.

"She's on a run, like usual," I said with a grin.

Livvy laughed. "Of course. I should've known. She always is this time of the evening."

Bloody Miranda and her schedule. Merlin, everything was pissing me off today.

"I know," I said.

Livvy put a hand on my arm. "Oh, I also heard about Lucia Thomas and James. I'm so sorry. I know he's your best mate and she's well, you know, going to try to fuck everything up. I'm sure of it."

I knew I always loved this girl.

I nodded. "I know, I'm fucked. But James doesn't see this for some strange reason. It's always the same process."

Livvy nodded sympathetically. "What an ordeal."

"It really is. And the annoying thing is, I can't really say anything to James because I'd either look jealous or overprotective. Not that he doesn't act like that towards me when I have blokes looking at me. But it seems to not fly with him. It's so strange not to be able to say anything to him about it. I mean, he and I talk about everything. Nothing is off limits. Except this. And I bloody hate it."

Livvy put her arm around me. "I'm sorry. He's dense. He'll come to his senses soon."

"I hope so," I muttered.

Suddenly a giggle wafted over from the other side of the common room. It sounded eerily familiar. I glanced over.

No.

What the bloody fuck was Lucia sodding Thomas doing in the _Gryffindor _common room?

Livvy grimaced. I glared at Lucia. Char caught my glance and looked angrily at Lucia from her spot with Ben where they were practicing spells.

I shifted my gaze back to James and Lucia. Bollocks. Lucia had raised the bar for flirting. She was now half atop James, and he had a big stupid grin on his face. She was saying something – no doubt witty, stupid Ravenclaw – into his ear and his eyes had a wild cast to them.

It was sickening. I felt my body lift itself of its own volition and in a rage I got up to walk over and break up this little party. But somehow Charlotte had sensed what I was about to do and jogged to the middle of the room to intercept me before I did something disastrous. She dragged me over roughly and gave me a look. I quickly snapped out of my fury, logic returning.

"Oh my goodness," I said, "I can't believe I was about to do that."

Char nodded as if to a dumb person. "Yes, that would be fucking terrible if you did that."

"Thanks," I mumbled. I slumped my shoulders. Fuck my life. I suddenly felt a little despondent and in need of some sleep. I hadn't slept well the past few days. I was exhausted and frustrated and I desperately hoped some shuteye would cure my seemingly endless problems.

"I think I'm going to go to bed," I said in a depressed tone.

Char eyed me worriedly. "You going to be okay?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'm just annoyed. I need sleep. I'm so tired."

"Okay."

She squeezed my shoulder and I left with a small smile. The second I sighted James and Lucia together I felt a twinge of annoyance. Thank Merlin he didn't spot me in my irrational fit of rage. I thanked my lucky stars.

But as I turned to go up to the girls' dormitory, I suddenly felt an urge to let James know that I was annoyed with his behavior. So I turned in his direction and strode purposefully over, taking long strides.

As I neared he looked up, and so did Lucia. She eyed me disdainfully. Fucking cow. I hated her.

I raised an eyebrow and surveyed his seductive pose with a disapproving eye. She was laying across him, hand on his chest, and it looked like they were ready to snog. Shag was more like it. I pursed my lips in disdain and gave James a look.

Then, with a frosty tone, I addressed James, and James only, completely ignoring Lucia.

"Goodnight James."

Without a second look, I turned and walked quickly over to my dorm, and hurried up the stairs and shut the door.

That night, I slept fitfully again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Milla! Focus!" James shouted at me. He was giving me a look from his broom.

I angrily swerved my broom and accelerated toward the ground. I pulled up just before hitting the ground and flew up at an increasing speed. I arrived next to James and smiled at him smugly. He gave me another look.

After practice I showered and dressed and was about to head up to the castle to finish that fucking mile-high pile of work waiting for me but James stopped me.

"Milla, we need a walk. Everything is bleeding stressful right now," he said.

I nodded. "I know."

He put his arm around me, absently, out of habit, but I felt it burn. He wasn't supposed to be doing this anymore. He had a girlfriend now. He could only do it with _her. _But I kept my mouth shut, my lips a thin line.

"What's wrong?"

I sighed heavily. Time for another lie. "I don't know. Everything. So much work, and between Quidditch in two days … I'm feeling tense."

James looked grave. "I know. I'm sorry. But hey, you were fantastic during practice."

I smiled. "Thanks. It's going to be a rough two days till the Ravenclaw game is over."

"We're going to kick arse."

I punched him on the arm. "Is that _all _you think about?"

"Pretty much."

Yep, that was true.

"Well, you can fail out of school, not find a job, and then marry Quidditch. Good luck having kids," I said with a grin.

He looked at me affronted. "Please. You love it just as much as I do. And I won't be _marrying _it. I'm not that pathetic."

"Well, I manage to hide it, unlike you." I poked him in the side and he squirmed. I laughed. I added, "Plus, you're forgetting that your future wife and I get along well. Mrs. Quidditch Potter. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

I gave him a teasing smile.

He glared at me. Then a gleam entered his eye and he turned and pushed me onto the ground. He began to tickle my sides and I squirmed. Damn him! Why did he know where I was ticklish? I hate Ian for telling him!

I began to laugh uncontrollably, my chest heaving from lack of air. My eyes were even starting to tear up from the laughter so I said breathlessly, "James, you need to stop."

He looked at me wickedly, half over me. "Never." He restarted his tickling with an increased pace. Ah. Fuck him!

After a few more minutes, tears were streaming out of my eyes, my voice begging mirthfully for him to stop. "James! Stop it!"

"No." He grinned at me. I squirmed under his hands.

"We need to –" laughter "- get back to the castle!"

"No we don't. That can bloody wait."

"Yes we do!"

"Fine. Only if you say the magic words?"

"Which are?" I asked wryly.

"James is my best mate and the best Quidditch captain in the world and I love him," he said triumphantly, tickling my stomach.

I gasped with laughter. "Stop it! Merlin, I'm going to kill Ian."

"Say it."

"NO! I will not."

He increased his tickling. "Just say it."

"I won't give you the pleasure of that."

"Fine. I'll just continue doing this and you'll never get your work done. Oh, and Char will be mad."

Ugh, that was true. "Fine."

"Kay. So say it."

"Argh! You're such an arse. But fine. James Potter is my best mate and the best Quidditch captain in the world – stop tickling me or I can't finish it!" He abated slightly. "Okay, and I love him," I finished happily, laughing.

James grinned cheekily down at me. He was leaning over me.

"Lucia won't like this very much," I said quietly.

He let out a laugh and flipped onto his back, taking me with him. I landed on his chest, and I snuggled into the crook of his arm, like usual.

"I don't care," he said at last. "You're my best mate, and if she can't take that, that's too bloody bad."

I smiled. "Good."

We just laid in contented silence. You know, I think that's rare. Most people couldn't do that. They felt awkward and babbled or left. But with James and I, we often did. It felt right. Maybe it was because we'd known each other so long. Who knew?

After a while, I commented, "By the way, my mum wrote me and she says hi. Merlin, I think she loves you more than me. The way she raves about you is fucking unbelievable."

James gave an arrogant smirk and said pompously, "Obviously. Everyone does. Tell her I love her too and the only reason I stick around you is so I can see her."

I smacked him. "Oh, shut up, you bastard."

Suddenly I gave a yawn. Merlin, I was exhausted. James noticed, and grinned affectionately. "I'm tired too."

I retorted, "I'm not –" I yawned again. Fucking yawn gave me away/

He pushed my hair out of my eyes. "Look, we'll go up to the castle, and you can go straight up to my room. I'll tell Char that you're tired and meet you up there."

I nodded, yawning yet _again. _Wow I was tired.

He slowly led me back up to the castle, and I leaned against him, feeling oddly cozy with his arm wrapped around me. As we entered the common room, Char saw us and smiled tenderly. I yawned and pointed up at the boys' dorm. Char nodded with a smile.

I looked up at James and said, "Char gets it. I told her."

He looked at me with an odd look. "You _told _her?"

I swatted him. "I told her with a yawn and pointing. Got it? Okay let's go up."

He nodded and pulled me up the stairs, holding my hand.

Once in his room he shared with Ben and Luke he rummaged through his drawers and threw me a big tee-shirt of his to wear. I smiled gratefully and went into his bathroom (ew, but I was too tired to complain about its decrepit state) and changed. I used the toothbrush I kept up here for times like this, and went back into the room, shoving my clothes on the ground next to his bed.

I got into his bed and watched James lazily as he changed. He pulled on some pajama bottoms and plopped down next to me. He pulled my head onto his chest, and I snuggled against him. His arm was draped over my body and I felt ready for sleep.

"Night, Milla," he said, his voice rumbling through his chest. I murmured in assent and smiled as he toyed with my hair.

That's the last thing I remembered before drifting off to sleep, sleeping well for the first time in days.

The next day in class it was back to normal. Lucia had her grimy claws in James and was flirting nonstop. I felt like throttling the bint right then and there.

I was getting increasingly annoyed. At least I was well-rested.

Oh, I forgot to mention it was DADA and Lucia was twirling her wand, simpering, and staring at James coyly. Char put a hand on mine and squeezed it.

Honestly, if it weren't for her I'd die. And Miranda.

Finally class was dismissed and I was near murdering the girl. Fucking Lucia. Why did she have to come and ruin everything? Now I was pissed with James again.

Shit. Now I had a free period and James would want to spend it together. Fuck.

"Milla, time for free period," said James as he meandered up to me.

Suddenly I felt irate. I looked menacingly at Lucia and said in a tight voice, "Why don't you spend it with your _girlfriend_?"

James looked surprised and started, "But you and I always –"

"You and I _ nothing_. Your girlfriend's waiting and I need … I need to talk to Miranda," I finished triumphantly. I turned and stalked away, grabbing Miranda by the arm and dragging her out.

Once we were a safe distance away, I started to vent. "Bloody bitch, ugh! He's such a git. What does he SEE in her? I just don't get it!"

Miranda patted my back reassuringly. "I know. Let's kill her." 

I grinned. "Let's. Okay, I'm hungry. Let's sneak down to the kitchens for a snack."

In the common room later that day, I overheard Charlotte and Luke talking in hushed voices.

"She's bloody upset about this. How could he do this to her?" Char was saying.

Luke nodded grimly at his twin. "I know. It's unfair and fucking unbearable."

"I just don't understand what he sees in her."

"I don't know either. I've tried talking him round, but he's so stubborn and doesn't get what Ben and I are saying about Lucia."

Oh. They were discussing me and the whole Lucia situation. Well, this was interesting. I leaned closer to hear better.

"Well, he'd better come to his senses. It's driving me up the wall," Char said angrily.

"Agreed."

They sat in silence, mulling over their thoughts.

Well, this was getting boring. They'd better restart talking about how much James is pissing me off. It made me feel better. It meant that I wasn't alone in my irritation or thinking James had gone bonkers.

Char suddenly piped up, "I hope James comes round soon. Milla is hurt."

Luke nodded, quiet. "He's got to realize, sooner or later."

Realize what? What did James have to realize?

All of a sudden, I butted into their conversation. "Realize what?"

Char flushed a little. "You were listening?"

I disregarded her statement. "Realize what!" 

Luke rolled his eyes. "That he's being a tosser and his best friend misses him."

I'm not _that _transparent, am I? Urgh, I was so pathetic.

I picked at a loose thread on the couch. "It's just, I don't know. _Her _with him, and James is amping up the pressure for Quidditch, and all this school shit. It's just pushing me over the edge."

Char nodded. "Me too."

Luke glared at Charlotte. "Can't believe you made me take all these stupid NEWT classes. I was happy with only three classes!"

Char glared back. "I don't want you to end up a homeless creep on the street, as much as that would amuse me."

Luke harrumphed in response. "What if I _want _to be a homeless loser?"

Char rolled her eyes. "God, you're so stupid."

"Caroline agrees with me!"

A whack in the face for that comment. "Ouch!" cried Luke. Another whack. Hahaha, Char was bloody strong for a girl.

"I'm writing Mum about your idiotic behavior!" said Charlotte tetchily.

Luke pushed her. "Dad will back me up."

Char rolled her eyes again. "No he won't!"

"Will too!"

"Will not!"

"Will too!"

"Will not!"

"ENOUGH!" I cried. I had a restraining arm on the both of them, and they both glared at me, miffed that I had interrupted their fight. Oh, for fuck's sake.

Twins were ruddy impossible. Why did I put up with them?

Moreover, why the fuck did I get stuck with them? Why, God, why?

I had the worst luck ever.

Oh shit, Char looked ready to pounce, so I threw my body on her, my weight restraining her. Merlin, the things I had to do to keep everyone alive. Luke, being wise (in rare moments like these), hurried off. Char growled menacingly. I got off her quickly.

"Char!" I reproached angrily.

"Milla!" she mimicked. "Why didn't you let me have at him?"

"Because you'd kill him!"

She crossed her arms. She knew I was right.

"Char, calm down. I need to talk to you anyways."

"Why?"

"Charms."

"Oh, okay. Let's get it over with."

"_Alohomora_," I muttered. A door swung open and a Third Year couple came scurrying out, guilt written all over their faces.

Ben said lazily, "Burbrooke, Mulberry, thirty points from Hufflepuff."

We continued on our way along the corridor, busting couples during a late night snog.

It was quite fun.

"So, what was with you, Char and Luke earlier?" asked Ben earnestly.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, they bitched about Lucia sodding Thomas and then they broke out into a row which I had to stop, of course."

Ben laughed appreciatively. "What stupid idiots."

"I know," I grinned. "But they're twins. What can you expect?"

"True," he acceded.

"So, how was our dear couple today?" I said in false saccharine tones.

"They were flirting as if their lives depended on it."

I grimaced. So did Ben.

Ben glanced down at me as we strolled. "So you hate it as much as I do?"

I gave him a look. "Obviously. Probably more than you."

He laughed. "I'm sure. It's driving me up the bloody wall. If I have to see them snogging once more in public I may have to jump off a cliff."

My jaw dropped. "They were _snogging _IN PUBLIC?"

He nodded grimly. "Unfortunately. I shouted 'my eyes' while they did it. I reckon they were about to shag, the way Lucia was throwing herself at him."

I mimed gagging. "Ugh. Ew. That's gross. Oi, we need a name for her."

He smirked. "HRH?"

What the fuck? "What?'

He looked smugly at me. "Her Royal Heinousness."

A grin spread across my face. "I love it. I'll have to tell Miranda and Char."

Luke smiled. "Char and I came up with it."

I laughed. "I love her."

"And you," I added, giving him a hug. He was a sweetie.

He ran a hand through his blond hair and said, "So Charlotte told me about you and James last night?"

I sighed. "Yeah, we had fun and I ended up falling asleep with him."

He grinned. "Like usual?"

I nodded. "Then this…dating shit pisses me off and I can barely be around him. But I have to act normally around him, so I just suck it up."

He made a face. "That blows. I make snide comments."

I smiled up at him. "Thanks. So does Luke. I don't know why, but I can't say anything about this. I guess because I'm a girl and I would look jealous. I don't want to come across like that since I don't fancy James, obviously. I mean, it's _James. _The boy I've seen in nappies." I made a face.

Luke laughed. "Exactly. But hopefully through a combined effort, we can end this horror that he calls a relationship?"

I put a hand on his arm. "Please. Let's. I can't stand her."

We had finally arrived at the Gryffindor common room. James was sitting on a couch, staring into the fire dancing in the hearth. Fuck. Ben and I exchanged a look.

As the portrait opened, James looked up and a tentative smile broke out on his face as he saw us. I didn't return the smile. James hesitated a moment, and then said, "How was patrol?"

"It was good," I said shortly. Ben stayed behind me, a hand resting supportively on my back.

"Yeah," echoed Ben, with a significant look at James.

James started, "Milla, I –"

"_Don't_, James," I cut him off with an edge in my tone that silenced him. "I'm going to bed."

I turned, squeezed Ben's hand and kissed him on the cheek, and said with a smile, "Goodnight. Thanks for everything."

I looked searchingly at James for a moment, and then said flatly, "Night."

Without a backwards glance, I went up the girls' staircase.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It was the day of the match. I was sitting at breakfast with Miranda and Charlotte. I felt butterflies in my stomach. Merlin, I was nervous. We had to win this match today, if only for my sanity because James would kill us at future practices if we didn't win.

Suddenly my owl, Stwyth (old family name), swooped in and dropped a letter, presumably from Mum. Ah yes, it was.

_Dear Milla,_

_I'm just writing to wish you luck at your match. Ian is going to attend (I told him to or no Quidditch during break) and I hope you win. I'm sure you will._

_Dad says congratulations, by the way. And we miss you. _

_Oh, and I heard through the grapevine about this Lucia Thomas girl, and James. I'm sure you're miffed. These girls do always try to take over your place, don't they? Well it never worked before so I doubt it will this time. Don't worry, just ride it out. Although I hope you like someone that James dates, eventually. Or he'll end up alone, or with you. Merlin forbid. The pair of you, could you imagine? Your children would be Quidditch fanatics._

_Goodness. That is a scary thought. Nevertheless dear, disregard my inane rambling._

_I miss you darling._

_Love, _

_Mum_

Me and James? What was she on? For fuck's sake. And how did she find out about Lucia? Oh, Ginny, definitely. But how did SHE find out? Oh, I'm sure Albus or Lily owled home to tell her. Bahaha. Had to love sibling tattletales, didn't you?

I took a big bite of egg and toast, only half listening to Charlotte's crazy speech.

"WE WILL WIN! WE WILL! We've worked so hard –"

"Shut up, _please_," shouted Miranda over Charlotte.

_Thank you_, I silently mouthed to Miranda. Char glared. I had the good grace to look sheepish.

Ben grinned at us as he sat down on my left, and he commented dryly, "Excited there, Char?"

"Shut up, Ben," growled Charlotte.

Ben laughed.

She glared.

Next to Char Luke plopped down, his hair mussed. "Can't believe I can't go! Stupid fucking detention."

Miranda reached across Char and patted Luke on the shoulder. "It's too bad, but I'm sure we'll win. And you can be at the party later."

"True," he said, smiling a little.

I looked over at Lucia and James, who were sitting together a few feet away. She was, as always, flirting. How the fuck do you flirt in the morning? It was unbelievable. Suddenly, she pulled James's face toward her and she began to kiss him. His eyes looked shocked, but then he registered what was going on and began to fervently respond, using his hands to pull her face closer.

I stared in utter stupefaction.

No.

Oh my God.

I couldn't believe this blatant PDA. It was disgusting. It was sickening. I felt like I was going to throw up. I dropped my toast on my plate, uneaten. I roughly got up from the table as Char and Miranda looked at me worriedly. I ignored their calls of "Milla!" and began to stalk out of the Great Hall.

But I couldn't tear my eyes off Lucia and James. I felt an urge to kill her, and to smack him. But I kept walking determinedly. James must have heard the cries of my name and his eyes sought out mine. For a second, I stopped walking, arrested by his gaze. But he was still kissing that bint as he looked at me. Wanker.

With a harsh glare, I tore my eyes from his and clenching my fists, strode out of the Great Hall.

In my rage, I didn't know where to go. But only one place would calm me down.

The pitch.

I threw myself into the game. I was a Chaser, and I loved it. I loved the wind rushing through my hair, I loved being on a broom. It was freeing, and it was damn fun. I felt myself relax as I flew, the deafening cheers of the crowd drowned out by the wind.

Of course, I wasn't speaking to James. I was still furious, but I channeled that fury into the game. I pushed myself as hard as I could go. I looked over into the stands, scanning the crowds for Miranda. Ah, there she was! She was cheering wildly, her cheeks tinted from the wind and excitement, and I felt a wave of affection wash over me.

I had the best friends. Speaking of which, how was Charlotte doing? I looked around for her, spotting her diving madly toward the ground at unbelievable speeds in a Wronski Feint. Bloody hell, she was amazing.

James was of course, playing excellently, as usual. But I didn't want to look at him. I couldn't.

Ben was whirring around the pitch, Beater's bat in hand. The reserve for Luke was holding up well, just as I thought he would. I felt smug.

I heard screams, and my head whipped around to see Charlotte on the ground, shouting and holding up a small golden Snitch. I started screaming, racing to the ground on my broom. I ran to her and hugged her tightly. Miranda had made her way down to the pitch, somehow (no doubt jinxing someone). We shared a hug and I hugged every member of the team exultantly except James, obviously. Ben and I high fived each other.

I heard James calling my name. I ignored him. I hugged Charlotte again. I turned to go to the changing rooms, when I felt James grab my arm. Oh, fuck. He roughly turned me so I could face him. He looked angry and … hurt?

Well, he deserved it. He bloody made out with HRH. Fucker.

"Milla," he said, searching my face. "Why won't you talk to me?"

I felt tears prick my eyes, but I blinked them back furiously. I pictured HRH, all exotic and gorgeous and unlike blonde, blue-eyed me, and I felt anger wash over me. Good. That was good. Anger was better than hurt. I could be angry and deal with it more easily.

I gave James a glare through my unshed tears and tried to wrench my arm out of his grasp. He tightened his grip. Fucking strong bloke. Ugh.

"Milla," he said, his voice laced with concern.

I mutely glared again, and felt the tears trying to escape. So with a forceful pull, I removed my arm from his hold and strode into the changing rooms, where I slammed the door and felt myself release the tears, collapsing against the door.

I quickly grabbed my wand and dried my eyes. I didn't want anyone to see me in such a sorry state. So I took some deep breaths and calmed myself down.

I took a shower in complete misery and pulled a sparkly top on with jeans, the clothes I had elatedly thrown in my bag for the party.

I didn't want to go to a party. But I didn't have a choice.

Fuck.

The party was in full swing. I was already swigging my second Cosmo of the evening. Music was blaring and people were chatting and dancing and making general merriment.

I was not in a merry mood.

I took another large gulp of my drink and turned to Charlotte, who was in a pink dress. She looked fab, and she had curled her hair with the tip of her wand and some spell I didn't know. Next to her was Miranda in a blue frilly top and jeans with flats.

Miranda was already three shots in and onto her second glass of champagne. Charlotte, of course, was only on her second glass of champagne. She was effervescent, ecstatic from winning, and generally happy. I decided to mask my skulking and put on a bright social smile.

"Char, you did so well," I said warmly.

Miranda hugged her. "You were amazing."

Char smiled, "Thanks. I'm so happy with it. James certainly was, although he looks off tonight. Milla, anything happen?"

I shook my head. "No, haven't got a clue."

Miranda shrugged. "Maybe he and HRH fought?"

HAHA. My nickname was catching on. Yes!

"Maybe," I said, draining my class.

Char put down her champagne flute. "Okay, you lot. We won. We need something a bit stronger. Who's up for some vodka on the rocks?"

"Me!" said Miranda enthusiastically. "I bloody need it."

"I need it more than you," I muttered. I took the glass from Char gratefully and slugged it back. Ah, that felt good. Now I could drown out my misery. Bloody James and his stupid girlfriend.

Hey, at least we won the match. Fuck that girl. Wait a second.

Hang on a moment. Was Lucia here? _At this party_?

Oh my God. He brought her. He dared to bring her here. What the fuck. I drank another glass.

"Keep 'em coming," I said.

Miranda raised her glass. "Hear, hear!"

Char put back a couple of shots before announcing, swaying slightly, "I'm going to dance!"

"With who?" I asked, woozy.

"I don't know," she said indecisively, before her eyes landed on Ben, who was watching her bemusedly. She sauntered over and grabbed his hand. He looked a bit shell-shocked, but complied. She led him to the dance floor where she proceeded to push herself close to him.

Well, I'll be damned.

Miranda looked at me with an amused glance before her brows furrowed.

"What's wrong?" I demanded.

"Erm, Milla, let's…uh go over there! Look at that… painting!" she finished, lamely.

"What's going on?"

Miranda nearly shouted, "Don't look!"

Clearly I did. And I nearly dropped my glass. Holy shit. James was dancing so close to Lucia they were almost shagging. And his face had an inebriated cast to it, and he was leaning down to Lucia… and … and… he was kissing her!

I felt my face flush and my fist clench. That git.

His hands were low around her back and he looked like he was eating her face off.

WHAT THE HELL.

Enough. I shoved my glass into Miranda's hand, and she was worriedly asking me what I was doing.

I ignored her completely. Albus, Jame's's younger brother, looked at me anxiously as I stalked by him. I spotted who I was looking for – Nate Walters. I grabbed him by the arm roughly and dragged him to the dance floor.

"What are you—" he sputtered.

"Shut up," I commanded.

I then pressed my lips to his and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Mmm. He tasted good. He started to respond to the kiss, his lips moving against mine, I pressed my body close to his and furiously kissed him as the music pounded in my ears. His teeth dragged across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, his tongue exploring my mouth. I groaned into the kiss.

This was bloody fun. I almost forgot about James.

Once we came up for air, we started to really dance. I grinded against him, moving my body to the music. I looked triumphantly over at James and Lucia.

James was watching me with an expression of mixed emotions. I could tell he was appalled and confused. There was also something unreadable, something I couldn't tell. He wasn't really dancing so much as standing next to Lucia, I noted happily. But when my gaze traveled up to his face, our eyes locked and I couldn't look away.

I felt misery wash over me and I wrenched my gaze from his. I rested my head on Nate's shoulder and swayed to the music, desperately trying to ignore James's eyes boring into the back of my head.

I looked around the room – at anything but James - from my spot on Nate's shoulder. My eyes landed on Miranda, who was watching me with an irked expression, and then Lily Potter snogging some bloke in her year, and then Char drunkenly kissing Ben.

WHAT?

I looked back and my jaw dropped. I'm sure my eyes were round and wide. I completely forgot about James as I watched the unfathomable. Holy _fuck. _

Ben was standing, holding Charlotte up against the wall, and her legs were wrapped around his middle. His hands were tangled in her hair and she was furiously kissing him, her arms around his neck.

Wow, well this was new.

Nate looked down at me. Oh, I forgot about it. Poor bloke. He really had seen me in a range of emotions tonight, hadn't he?

I smiled up at him as best I could in my drunken haze. "Love this music."

He laughed. "Yeah. You want a drink?"

I nodded. "Please."

He led me to the drinks table, and I turned to say hi to Miranda, but she was glaring at me for some reason. Well, what the fuck? I turned back to Nate with a strange expression on my face.

He looked concernedly down at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I muttered, accepting a Firewhiskey. I downed half of it in one go.

"Clearly not," he said with a look.

"I've a lot going on," I prevaricated and gestured vaguely with my glass.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked kindly. I felt my eyes tear up at his unwarranted kindness.

"Oh, it's everything. NEWTs and James is driving us crazy with his Quidditch madness… James…" I trailed off, blinking madly.

"James?" he prompted gently.

"James and Lucia and he's my best mate and everything is…" what was that word? "It's all.. all wrong."

I felt my eyes spill over with tears and I wiped my eyes, and then drained my Firewhiskey. Nate put his drink down and hugged me.

"Thanks," I found myself whispering. I stood there for a moment, embracing him.

A hard voice cut in, "What the _fuck _is going on?"

Oh, fuck. James.

His eyes were blazing and his expression hard as he yanked me out of Nate's embrace.

What right did he have to butt in when he was shagging HRH in the corner?

I snapped, "What the _fuck_ is your problem?"

He glared. "You and Walters here. Milla, what the fuck is happening? Why are you ignoring me?"

I gave him a furious look. "You know what, it's none of your bloody business."

His hold tightened on my arm. "It is too. You're my best friend."

I glared mutely at him.

"Milla," he said, forcefully.

"Fuck off, James!" I shouted and pulled my arm out of his iron grip.

I stalked past a still-snogging Ben and Charlotte and stormed up the girls' staircase. I put a silencing charm on my bed and closed the curtains around it. I started sobbing before I eventually fell asleep, still in my clothes.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I woke up with a splitting headache and the dread in my stomach that let me know something horrific happened last night.

Or several horrific things. Fuck.

I quickly did a cheering charm and drank _two _hangover potions. Merlin, my head hurt.

Mother fuck.

I woodenly crawled out of bed, still in my clothes from last night. I showered, changed, and went downstairs, shielding my eyes from the light.

I looked at the clock – it was 8:30. Good. No one else should be up. I hurried down to the Great Hall and poured myself some coffee and buttered some toast. Now this would fix me right up.

I opened _The Daily Prophet _and started to read an article on some Ministry politics.

I heard someone yawn and say blearily, "Milla?"

I looked up. Charlotte!

She sat down next to me, wearing a sweatshirt and pajama pants. "Pass me the coffee, would you?"

I did and then glanced impatiently at her. "So?" I asked, imbuing the word with meaning.

She groaned. "Let's not talk about that."

"But … how! You and Ben –"

"Don't say his name. I'm so embarrassed. Oh, and Luke saw us. Oh my God. Fuck. He's going to murder me. And then Ben. Oh fuck, I was so drunk. I cannot believe I did that. I can't believe he let it happen. Oh, I'm so mortified." She looked so distraught I slung an arm around her shoulder and squeezed her tightly.

"I'm sorry. It's okay, I fucked up too. I'm never getting drunk again," I moaned, my face in my hands.

Of course, I always say this and it never happens.

Char looked at me questioningly. "What did you do?"

I pushed a hand through my hair. "I don't want to talk about it."

She gave me a look. "You can and you will. If I told you about hooking up with one of my closest friends, you can tell me whatever you cocked up."

I sighed heavily. "Okay, fine. Well I saw James snogging HRH, so I grabbed Nate Walters and started to snog him. Then I danced with him and James was staring. After we went to get drinks, I felt sad and started to cry so he hugged me, and James came furiously over and demanded what was going on. And we fought and then I stalked off and cried myself to sleep. Oh, and Miranda is mad at me for some reason unbeknownst to me."

Charlotte's eyes bugged. "What the hell?"

"I know. I don't even quite get what happened." My shoulders slumped and I felt despondent.

Charlotte hugged me, and I leaned against her. God, we were quite the pair.

Across from me I saw Ben sit down and grab a roll. Charlotte looked at him, panicked, and said, "I have to go." She stood up abruptly and left, leaving me with Ben. Great.

Ben looked upset. He ran a hand through his blond hair and glanced worriedly after Charlotte. "Fuck," he muttered.

I smiled grimly. "I know."

"Is she okay?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I think she's freaked out and confused."

Ben grimaced. "I know. So am I. how the bloody fuck did that happen?"

I shrugged again. "Don't know. Don't know anything about last night."

"Everyone saw?"

"Yep."

"Luke saw?"

"Yep."

Ben paled. "SHIT."

"Oi, keep it down. I'm hung over," I gestured to my coffee and toast.

He glared. "So am I."

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled miserably.

"What did Charlotte say?"

"Nothing much. Just what happened, which I saw, by the way. You two were going at it with a lot of gusto, I must say," I teased.

Ben scowled. "Shut up."

"I –"

Miranda appeared, her hair in a ponytail. She sat down next to Ben, without looking at me. She grabbed a slice of toast and some coffee and opened her _Prophet. _

"Miranda, I –" I began.

She looked up, her face hardened, and she stood up without a word and stalked out of the room.

Shit fuck.

Ben looked quizzically at me. "What happened there?"

I looked puzzled. "Beats the shit out of me. No clue."

Why was everything such a mess?

I was sitting out by the lake against a tree, staring at the water. It was a beautiful fall day with the crisp blue sky and light breeze. I took a deep breath and felt a calm wash over me.

Maybe I could take a nap? It was a Sunday, after all. I didn't have any work, and I didn't seem to be getting anywhere with anyone. Might as well sleep.

I stared at the water, little ripples created by the wind and felt relaxed. For once.

I felt my eyes drifting shut when I heard my name.

"James?" I said drearily, rubbing my eyes.

He had his hands shoved in his pockets and he was wearing a blue sweater.

"Milla," he said tentatively. "What happened last night?"

I crossed my arms defensively, looking away. "I don't want to talk about it."

"We need to talk."

"No we don't, James. We really don't."

"You have to tell me what's going on."

Anger flared up inside me. "I don't have to tell you _a thing_!"

"We're best mates. We should be able to talk about things!"

I glared. "Talk about what, James? Your constant PDA with your girlfriend. Your lack of time spent with me – with any of us? The way you behave around HRH – sorry, Lucia sodding Thomas? There's nothing to discuss!"

James looked baffled. I turned and began to leave – I was getting quite good at this stalking away thing.

"Milla! _Camilla! _Wait – "

I whirled around and with narrowed eyes said, "Do NOT call me Camilla."

I turned around and walked away.

I arrived in my room and screamed. Urgh! I was so frustrated. I punched my pillow, but still felt pure rage flowing through my veins.

"Er, Milla?" came Miranda's voice.

I stopped and looked around, and I saw she was watching me with a bemused expression.

"What?" I asked huffily.

"We need to talk. But first, are you okay?"

"I will be," I mumbled.

Miranda sighed. "Okay, look, I need to ask you something."

I looked up curiously. "What?"

"Why did you snog Nate Walters?"

I shrugged. Not this _again. _"I don't know. I was mad at James."

"But why Walters?"

That was a surprising question. "I don't know. First bloke I saw."

"Do you fancy him?" she asked tentatively.

"No!" I said indignantly.

She looked relieved. Wait a second. If she were relieved, then that meant that…

"OH MY GOD! You fancy Walters?" I shouted.

Miranda nodded mutely.

"I'm so sorry! That's why you were mad! Why didn't you say anything?"

She shrugged. "I don't know," she said morosely.

"I'm sorry," I said and hugged her.

Merlin, these past twenty-four hours had been surprising, to say the least.

"I just picked the first bloke I saw, and just started snogging. I was drunk. I'm so sorry," I explained ashamedly.

Miranda nodded, her face clear with relief. "Good."

I said, "Can you believe this about Ben and Charlotte?"

Miranda's eyes widened. "I know. It's shocking."

And we spent the whole afternoon dissecting what happened.

In the common room that evening, things were incredibly awkward. I completely ignored James, who was staring into the fire sullenly. Luke wasn't talking to Ben because he snogged Charlotte.

Char wouldn't look at Ben and sat pretending to do work by me. Miranda and I were talking in hushed voices and Ben kept shooting Char looks. Poor sod. This was going to ruin _everything. _

I glanced over at James, and felt my heart swell with fondness for the dejected bloke, but I reminded myself firmly that I was angry. I couldn't just give it up.

Ugh, how long could I keep this up? I could hardly stand not talking for him for three hours!

I missed my best mate.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The last two days had been sheer _hell. _I wasn't speaking to James, and I was bloody miserable. To add insult to injury, Charlotte was avoiding Ben and it was extremely awkward. Nothing felt normal.

I was staring moodily into the fire, slouched on the couch. A lock of my blonde hair fell into my face and I swatted it angrily away. Ugh. What a shitty week.

I heard the Portrait open and some voices floated over, one of them saying, "And Milla and I aren't speaking and it's really strange. I don't know what's going on. She's been acting so _strange _lately."

James.

I sighed heavily and turned my head. I bit my slip and said quietly, "James?"

His head whipped round and he looked at me questioningly.

"Could we speak for a moment?" I asked hesitantly.

He nodded slowly, and Ben pushed him towards me. He walked over to me and sat next to me. He looked at me expectantly.

Ugh, I hated apologies.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I'm sorry," I muttered. "I've cocked it up badly… and I don't know what's come over me. I just … I don't know. I'm sorry."

His face was worried and his brown eyes were fixed on mine. "Milla," he began. "I don't even care if you were mad. Just don't not talk to me again, okay? I bloody hate it and I can't stand not talking to my best mate."

I nodded, relieved. But I looked down, I was embarrassed.

James lifted my chin up so I was looking at him. "What's been going on? What happened?" he asked.

I shrugged mutely. "I don't know. I just have been really stressed lately, and I feel like I don't see you anymore. You're always with HRH – I mean, Lucia – and I hardly see you."

James sighed heavily, leaning back into the couch. "Listen to me," he said solemnly. "You're my best friend. Always have been. No one and nothing could change that. Plus, for some sadistic reason, I like you teasing me."

I cracked a half-smile. James pulled me close to him so I was leaning against his chest, and he said, "Good. I like you smiling. And laughing."

I cocked an eyebrow. "At you?"

He grinned. "Near me. Definitely near me."

I smiled, my cheek resting on his chest. I felt immeasurably better. James was always able to cheer me up.

"So how are your parents?" I asked.

He smiled. "Annoying and sickeningly in love as ever. It even comes out in their _letters_."

I laughed. "Of course. Typical. By the way, your mum knows you're dating HER."

"Lucia?" he asked surprised.

"Yes, she heard it through the grapevine," I responded.

"From Sarah?" he said incredulously.

"Yep, my bloody mum is so nosy."

"Like always." We laughed, grinning foolishly at each other.

This was more like it. I missed _this_. I missed just me and James. I hated when others tried to encroach. It wasn't acceptable.

James looked at his watch and said grimly, "Shit. I told Lucia I'd meet up with her."

He pecked me on the cheek and left the common room.

I scowled.

Things between Ben and Charlotte weren't getting any better. I could see him try to talk to him, but she blatantly ignored all efforts to discuss what happened. Even when I tried to talk to her or Miranda did, she would hastily change the subject.

It was particularly uncomfortable at Quidditch practices for everyone. The team behaved stilted and awkward around each other, and it affected our playing. Char kept swerving out of Ben's way, and he got pissed off, by the looks of it.

So was James. He hated his team not functioning normally. Luke looked torn – between his best mate and his twin. I'd talked to him – he was stuck between being there for his best friend and being irked that he kissed his twin sister. He also looked annoyed by the fact his sister had cozied up to his best mate.

The worst of it was when Charlotte was too busy looking at the ground when she missed the Snitch buzzing around her head. Ben watched her bemusedly. James looked ready to explode from frustration and irritation.

"CHARLOTTE!" he bellowed from his broom, his face flushed with anger. "If you won't speak to Ben because you snogged him, that's fine, but do it on your own time. Don't fuck up my Quidditch team because of your indiscrepencies."

Charlotte recoiled and I flew over to James and smacked him upside the head. He wobbled on his broom, and he glared at me. "What was that for?" he demanded, rubbing his head.

"For upsetting Charlotte! She's having a rough time right now. I'm going after her. You can have your ruddy game without your Chaser and Seeker. Bye, James."

I threw him one last reproachful look over my shoulder and flew down after Charlotte. She had already made it to the common room, and was pulling off her Quidditch robes angrily.

She saw me enter and yelled, "Why is James being a prat?"

"Because you're interrupting his Quidditch flow and you know how he gets when anything personal interferes with his game." I rolled my eyes. "Git."

She scowled. "I know. I want to bloody pulverize him."

"Please, do," I said, gesturing broadly.

"I could ruddy kill him."

"I know," I sympathized. "That's how I feel most of the time. I don't know why I put up with him."

Char grimaced. "I don't know why at the moment either."

She pulled on a shirt roughly. "I'm so embarrassed. I feel bad, but I don't know what to say to Ben. It's so awkward! I wish there was a book – _What to Say to your Best Mate After Snogging Them While Smashed._"

I laughed. "Wouldn't that be lovely? A book to solve all your problems."

"Okay, let's go grab Miranda and nip down to the kitchens for a snack, yeah?" said Charlotte.

I smiled. "Perfect."

I quickly put my hair into a messy bun, and Miranda looked inquisitively at me from her bed, where she was reading _The Daily Prophet_. "What's the big rush?"

"Patrol!" I said hurriedly, pulling on some flats and grabbing my wand off my bedside table.

She laughed. "You're always late!" She turned the page.

"Bye, Miranda!" I shouted, bounding down the stairs.

I saw Ben in the common room, sitting on a lounge chair, deep in thought.

"Ben?" He looked up and smiled.

"Shall we?" he said, proffering his arm. I took it with a laugh and we strolled out of the common room.

"So you and Charlotte," I broached the subject cautiously.

He sighed heavily. "I suppose we should discuss this, since Charlotte won't?"

I nodded.

"Okay, well obviously I was pissed, and so was she. I don't really remember much. It's a really hazy memory. All I remember is her asking me what I was doing alone, and then snogging me. Then everything is kind of convoluted and I don't recall much." He shrugged, and I felt a wave of affection for this mild-mannered bloke. He looked confused and forlorn and I patted him on the arm.

"It'll be okay," I reassured warmly.

He smiled a little. "Thanks."

"Char just needs time to come round," I commented, answering his unasked questions.

"You think?" he said hopefully.

"Yeah. She's just going mad because she doesn't understand what happened. You know Charlotte. She freaks out if she doesn't understand what's going on."

"I don't even get what the fuck happened," said Ben. "But bottom line, we were plastered and it's not like it meant anything."

I nodded. "Exactly. She just has to get over the stigma of hooking up with her good friend and then she'll be fine."

A dark figure – or figures, most likely – loomed in the distance. I put a hand on Ben's arm to quiet him and as we approached, I saw it was Lily snogging a boy in her year.

"OI! LILY!" I said loudly. She broke away from Higgins, I could see it was, and looked embarrassedly at me.

"Hi, Milla," she said nervously. "Er, we'll just be going, shall we?"

I raised my eyebrow and gave her a sardonic look.

Lily gave an anxious titter and grabbed Higgins and dragged him away.

I called after her, "I won't be taking off any points THIS TIME but beware in the future. Oh, and I'll have to tell James!"

I heard a resounding, "No!" but too bad. James _had _to know, even if he would kick Higgins's arse. It was his own bloody fault for snogging a girl with two older brothers.

Ben was laughing. "Poor Lily. She's always terrorized by us. It must suck to have an older brother- two, rather."

I smirked. "Hence I love being the eldest."

"Well, James acts as your older brother, doesn't he? He takes his role as protective older brother bloody seriously," said Ben.

I frowned. " I know. It's really annoying. I can't date anyone for fear of James hexing them!"

"Well, to be fair, most of the blokes after you are twats."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't even know if blokes are after me, since James doesn't let them. I might have to either join a nunnery or become a lesbian."

Ben laughed. "I doubt James would let that happen. He'd marry you himself, if he had to."

I whacked Ben on the arm. "Yes, _that's _a great plan. We'd be a brilliant couple, if that didn't sound incestuous to me or if we didn't kill each other first."

Ben winked. "Maybe I'll have a chat with James about easing up the hexing of your dates, yeah?"

I clapped my hands together. "PLEASE! That would be amazing."

Ben commented offhandedly, "Although, I feel worse for Char than you. She has a _twin _brother, which is worse by far. Luke is so careful about Charlotte. SHE will be the one becoming a nun."

I laughed. "Not if she has any breath left in her body. She has her checklist, and she is determined to marry a walking checklist."

Ben rolled his eyes. "I don't understand that girl."

I giggled. "Me neither, but I love her anyways. Miranda, on the other hand, will make me die laughing if she marries first. She's so bleeding cynical."

"Watch her marry first."

"I'd love to bet on that. 100 galleons?" I said.

"You're on."

The next evening I was sitting in the common room with Char and James. Miranda was off on her daily evening run (fuck her and her punctuality and schedule) and Luke was in the library doing long overdue research for a Transfiguration project (all the while grumbling about killing Charlotte for signing him up for NEWT classes).

I was sitting on the couch closest to the fire, loving its warmth radiating from the grate. James's head was in my lap and he had his feet over the side of the couch. Charlotte was next to me and we were gossiping and chatting.

"Milla, dear, have you read the new article in _Witch Weekly_ about dating do's and don't's?" said Char excitedly.

I rolled my eyes. Typical. "No, Char, I haven't," I said tiredly.

James laughed and a lock of his dark hair fell onto his forehead, so I absentmindedly brushed it aside.

James commented dryly, "I don't bloody understand how you and Luke are such opposites."

Char giggled. "Beats me. Glad I'm not like that idiot of a procrastinator."

James grinned. "That's why he's my best friend."

I whacked him on the shoulder. "HEY!" I said, indignantly.

James made a face. "Okay, Milla, you are, and you know it, but don't tell them, or they'll kill me. Especially Ben –"

"What about me?" interjected Ben smoothly as he strode into the common room.

Charlotte looked up, startled, the amusement fading on her face. Her lips formed a thin line and she wrapped hair around her finger absently. Ben looked at her curiously. She flushed and stood up abruptly, saying, "I should go. Have so much work!"

She turned to leave but Ben caught her arm. He was staring at her earnestly.

He said, "Charlotte, we need to talk."

She fervently shook her head and tried to pry her arm out of his grip. "No, we don't."

"Yes, we do," he replied firmly.

"Fine." Charlotte looked deflated, defeated. She stood, waiting for him to start.

"Char, what happened was a drunken mistake. It doesn't have to mean anything. We got plastered and we fucked up. Lots of people do. And this awkwardness needs to stop. I miss you teasing me," he said plaintively.

She retorted, a confused look on her face, "But everything has changed and –"

"No it hasn't! Snogging didn't mean anything. It _doesn't_," he said forcefully.

Charlotte looked bewildered, an array of emotions evident on her face. I felt sorry for her. Damn, that was one bad situation.

I glanced down at James, biting my lip, and he was looking up at me with a worried expression. I found his hand and squeezed it reassuring him that everything would be fine.

Charlotte was silent for a moment. Then she said slowly, looking conflicted and perplexed, "Okay. We can just forget it happened. We can ignore it, and just continue on with being mates."

Ben nodded, happy. "Right."

Charlotte gave a small smile but I could tell it was forced, that there was a lot going on in her head.

I would most definitely be grilling her later.

Ben impulsively hugged Charlotte, and said affectionately, "I missed you. These past few days have been weird."

"I know," she agreed.

"Shall we go for a walk?" he offered. She nodded and they walked out of the common room together after waving at us.

I looked down at James, who was looking up at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I asked incredulously.

"Yep," he said wryly.

"I give it a month. Can't believe I haven't seen it before."

"You're on. 50 galleons?"

I smirked. "Damn straight."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Hogsmeade weekend is soon!" I cried joyously one day at breakfast.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "Why are you so bloody peppy this early in the morning?"

"Shut up," I said teasingly.

Charlotte smiled. She heaped some fruit onto her plate and said placidly, "We'll go as a group to Hogsmeade, all of us. It'll be fun!"

"Except me," said James as he sat down next to me and placed an arm casually around my shoulders.

"Why?" I said in surprise.

He put a large quantity of eggs on his plate and began shoveling it into his mouth. He responded with his mouth full (the manners lessons I tried to give him years ago were fruitless. Waste of my time), "I'm going with Lucia."

I gritted my teeth. Miranda noticed and grimaced in sympathy.

I forced out flatly, "I'm sure that will be loads of fun."

I speared a bite of sausage savagely and stuck it into my mouth, chewing furiously.

James, not picking up onto my obvious sarcasm – or choosing to ignore it – said, "Yes it will. She's planning our whole day. But she said we could go to Zonko's, if we wanted."

"Oh, the master is letting her dog go for a walk," I muttered under my breath. Miranda caught my eye and snorted.

"What?" he demanded, looking from me to Miranda.

I picked up my glass and took a gulp of orange juice. "Oh, nothing," I said airily. "Just discussing the muggle Queen."

Well, we were discussing royalty of some kind, anyway. Her Royal Heinousness, that was.

"Oh," James said blankly. I smiled at his stupidity kindly. Boys. Psh.

Charlotte sniggered. My smile widened. Don't you just _love _screwing with your best friend?

Not in that way! Ahem.

I flushed slightly and James looked down at me curiously. I quickly took a bite of toast to mask my confusion. Charlotte looked at me inquisitively. Argh, why was everyone staring at me?

Suddenly Ben plopped down next to Miranda. "Morning, you lot," he said with a yawn.

I murmured a response and continued to study my breakfast as though it were particularly fascinating.

"So, Char, d'you want to help me with Transfiguration later?" asked Ben casually.

Charlotte bit her lip and looked fidgety. "Um, sure, if you need help," she said.

"Good, then we can all hang out together in the common room later, okay?" he said glancing at Charlotte.

She was ripping a napkin into tiny shreds. "Mmkayy, sounds good," she agreed in a bright voice.

Merlin, why was Charlotte so flustered? I glanced at Miranda and signaled with a significant look that we would be discussing this later. She nodded almost imperceptibly.

Ben looked at me with a strange expression. I shook my head slightly, as if to say, _leave it – she'll get mad if you question her. _Her being Charlotte.

James noticed this odd exchange and poked me. I shoved him back. He pinched me and I whacked him upside the head. "Prat!" I said in a mock angry tone.

He laughed. "I'm not the secretive one here."

I hit his shoulder. "Shut up, you prick."

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Whatever's going on you're telling me later. I feel out of the loop."

I shot him a look.

Charlotte looked beleaguered. "What's going on?"

I kicked James's leg under the table to let him know he was an arse whom I currently despised. He winced and I smirked.

"Nothing, Char," I said breezily. "Just wondering what we should do in Hogsmeade."

Whew. Good save by me. I was brilliant.

Charlotte continued to act slightly oddly around Ben all day. She would become quiet whenever he passed by her or flush when he spoke to her. During Transfiguration, Ben sat next to her like usual and she squirmed the entire time. I watched her the whole time.

Okay, I'm NOT a stalker. I just liked to observe my friends!

The best was when Ben tapped her arm to get her attention and she pulled it away quickly as lightning from him. I was beginning to think my theory was correct from the other day when I was talking to James. Damn, I was good.

After class, I dragged Miranda by the arm to the Prefects' bathroom, where I knew Charlotte wouldn't be. I shut the door and pulled Miranda to the furthest corner.

I sat on the window ledge and looked at Miranda with shining eyes. "Okay, something dodgy is going on with Charlotte."

Miranda nodded. "I know. Ever since she and Ben hooked up."

"She's been flustered around him and avoiding him till they talked – or he forced her too. If he hadn't, she'd still be ignoring him," I said, thinking hard.

Miranda looked pensive. "I wonder.." she said slowly.

My eyes met hers and I felt a realization come to me. "No! She _already _fancies him? I made a bet with James that she would date him soon but not THIS soon. Fuck, I'll lose."

Miranda let out a laugh. "I think she does, yes. But I don't think she knows it yet."

"I know. She definitely doesn't. But she's freaking out. You know how Char prizes normalcy and routine."

"Should we help them along?" Miranda asked.

"No. Let them figure it out themselves. I don't want to meddle. I hate when people interfere in my life," I said decisively.

"Okay," she acceded, "But should we help her to realize her feelings?"

"NO! She needs to figure it out herself. Obviously she's confused right now, but she needs to sort out her emotions herself. We can't dictate to her how she feels, and I don't want to further freak her out by telling her something she hasn't admitted to herself yet. Charlotte already is having a difficult time grappling with the idea of snogging Ben."

I felt pretty damn wise with my words. I was blown away by my own sagacity.

Haha.

I hardly _ever _feel philosophical or perspicacious. I usually leave that to Miranda and Ben.

Miranda nodded. "Okay, good plan."

"But," I said wryly, "I can't wait till she DOES realize and freak out and then finally date them. Then they'll get married and have lots of lovely Thompson children."

Miranda snorted. "Bloody likely. And you're too sappy for me. You're turning into Charlotte, for fuck's sake!"

I thought slyly that she'd be eating her own words when she married first and I'd win my money from James.

Fat chance. But one could hope, couldn't they?

Later that evening I was resting in the common room, my head resting on James's lap. He was playing idly with my hair and we were chatting. In the lounge chair next to the couch was Miranda, flipping through book. Ben was resting his head on a pillow while on the floor, talking with me and James. Charlotte and Luke were fighting the remaining armchair.

"Bloody hell, Char!" Luke growled as she shoved him roughly off the side. He stood back up, rubbing his head, and he lunged after Charlotte. She jumped off in time and sat on Luke's lap, and he looked grumpy. She pinched his arm and he moved aside as he jumped up and yelped in pain. Ben sniggered and Luke glared. Charlotte nimbly leapt into the lounge chair and smirked from her seat. Luke's face was red.

I laughed, and Miranda looked up. Her eyes roved over an irate Luke and a triumphant Char and she started guffawing. Man, having twins as mates was really entertaining.

James looked down at me, an amused look on his face.

"So we have psychos for friends?" he said in a voice pitched to carry over to Luke and Char. They glared at him and I hit James on the chest.

"You know, you've been doing an awful lot of that lately," he commented with a gleam in his eye.

"What?" I said, giggling.

"Hitting me and generally abusing me in general," he replied, slipping his arm under my knees.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I demanded as he stood up with me in his arms as easily as though I were a book he was carrying, and not a fully grown female.

"I'm getting my revenge," he said, placing me gently on the ground. I tried to get up but James sat on me, one leg on either side of me. He began to tickle my sides, and I felt a rush of breathless laughter overtake me.

"James," I protested breathlessly, my cheeks flushed from laughing, "Stoooppp!"

His dark eyes flashed and he had a grin on his face. He said, "The more you protest, the more I'll tickle."

I shook my head fervently.

"That's it!"

He started to tickle my collarbone and my neck, my most ticklish spots.

"JAMES! That's not fair. You shouldn't be allowed –" I stopped talking because I was laughing so hard "- to tickle me there!"

Careful not to crush me, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "It's one perk of knowing you my entire life. I get to tickle you wherever I like."

I squirmed, his breath warm against my ear. I felt really warm all of a sudden and I swatted him away. He continued to tickle me. It dawned on me that he was straddling me, and I felt a strange emotion overcome me, building in the pit of my stomach.

But his incessant tickling was enough. So I decided to tickle HIM. I reached my arm out and tickled behind his knee, the only place I could reach. His eyes widened, shocked, and he began to laugh. I used this moment to push him off me and he rolled onto the ground next to me.

"GO MILLA!" shouted Luke, clapping.

I smiled victoriously and sat on top of James, continuing my assault. He was laughing beneath me. I decided to pull his own move on him, so I started to tickle behind his ears, his own sensitive spot and I leaned down toward him to say smugly by his ear, "Two can play this game."

He looked up at me with a strange expression and I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach. I moved away from his ear and looked at his face only inches away. If I leaned forward slightly …

I sat up abruptly. Oh my God. I did _not _just think that I could kiss James. Since when did I think of _him _like _that?_ He was my best mate!

And then a wave of horror passed over me. Merlin's saggy left ball. I fancied James.

My face must've expressed my horror at this new revelation and to cover my confusion, I said loudly – too loudly, "I win!"

James looked at me strangely again, as though he were seeing something new and trying to fit this new information into a puzzle. He blinked and shook his head like a wet dog.

I abruptly got off James and sat down on the couch, wrapping my arms around my knees.

"Milla, you alright?" asked Char worriedly.

I nodded absently. I wasn't paying attention to anything.

James was rubbing the back of his neck, and said with an odd look at me, "I'm going to go say goodnight to Lucia." I scowled automatically.

Ben and Luke were chatting, ostensibly not having seen the entire episode. Bleh. Ignorant boys.

Miranda was watching me with an expression of concern and bemusement, and I ignored her looks of anxiousness.

Holy shit. Fuck. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? How and when did I start to fancy the bloke I grew up with? The boy in nappies who drew on me as a little child? The boy I took _baths _with? The boy that stole my wand the first day of school because he thought it was funny? The boy that laughed at the most ridiculous things like a squirrel chasing his dog Horatio? The boy that was obsessed, like me, with Quidditch? The guy with the unkempt hair and hatred of anything formal? The person I was closest to in the entire world?

The bloke who had a girlfriend?

Fuck.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I was in the library with Miranda and Charlotte, finishing up a Charms essay. I tapped my quill on my parchment impatiently. I added another flourish to my name, trying to procrastinate from actually writing the essay.

"Miranda, do you have _A Compilation of Consequences of Crudely Executed Charms_?" I asked exhaustedly.

She thought for a moment, digging through the stacks of books on our table. "Shit, no. Let me go get it."

I sighed wearily. I hated doing work. Only eight months till we graduated? Uggh.

Charlotte looked up from the essay she was toiling over. "I HATE THIS!" she said loudly, earning a quelling look from Madam Pince who was still here after all these years.

"How much longer?" I whined, as the mature sixteen year old I was (almost seventeen, okay? My birthday was November 8th).

Suddenly Miranda appeared … with Nate Walters in tow. I looked at Miranda curiously. She smiled happily and Char gave me a look.

"Can I join you lot?" Nate asked with a smile.

"Sure," I said warmly, trying to forget how awkward it was that I grabbed him and started snogging him randomly. I was so good with people, wasn't I?

Psh. Not even _I _can pass that off as a sarcastic comment. This was probably a good reason that I was stuck with the same group of people my entire life and hadn't been social enough to venture beyond the confines of my familiar world. Humph. I was fucked when I got out of Hogwarts. Maybe I could go live with my parents after Hogwarts and be a recluse?

Yeah right. Okay, focus. I pasted a bright smile on my face, ignoring the awkwardness.

But Mr. Smartarse here had to shatter the fragile veneer of sociability painted over the situation. Great.

"Milla, how are you holding up after the Quidditch party?" he asked conversationally.

Fuck me HARD. Ugh. This was so embarrassing.

"I'm, you know, better," I chirped brightly. "Er, I was drunk and that was a fuckup."

He laughed. "I know. You were so bloody pissed and that whole thing with James."

Ugh. James. Just thinking about my recent realization that I fancied him made me cringe. I was so mad at myself! How could I something like this _happen_? It could ruin our friendship.

"Yeah," I said overly cheerfully. "Anyway!" I clapped my hands and Charlotte stared at me. "Let's get to it, shall we?"

Miranda smiled brightly and looked up him from under her eyelashes with a … flirty expression? Oh my goodness! Miranda was flirting with Nate. Finally she made a move on her crush. She usually waited for her potential boyfriends to make a move on her first.

But this, this was new. And damn fun to watch.

Miranda placed her chin in her hand and looked up at him slightly adoringly. Wow, she must really fancy this bloke.

"So, Nate, what were you saying?" she asked.

He smiled down at her. "Oh, how it's Hogsmeade this weekend."

She said casually – _too _casually, "Any plans?"

He laughed. "None at the moment. But I was hoping to … run into some people."

Miranda frowned. "Oh, okay."

He continued, "Maybe some lovely ladies."

Her frown deepened. Oh, for Merlin's sake! She was so oblivious.

Charlotte was also rolling her eyes. "Okay, what Miranda's distraught facial expression is really saying is that we'll be seeing you there. Oh, and Milla and I have to go."

Char pulled me up and I grabbed our books and we left, throwing meaningful glances back at Miranda. I waved at Nate who looked a bit grateful since Miranda was being a dense ninny.

Char burst out laughing as soon as we exited the library. Soon after her I broke out laughing, at first lightly then convulsively. Soon, we were both laughing so hard and I was crying from mirth and I had to sit down against the wall. I was clutching Char and our hysterics didn't subside for an hour.

God, don't you just love your friends sometimes?

"So Miranda, you really fancy Nate, don't you?" I asked with a big grin that night while I was lying on my bed.

She picked at a loose seam and looked a little flushed but she nodded, finally meeting my eye. "I do."

Charlotte clasped her hands together. "Aw! That's so sweet. And he fits most of criteria on my checklist."

"How generous of you," Miranda said dryly.

Char ignored her. "But I wonder who I'm going to take to Hogsmeade. I've been asked out by a load of blokes in the past couple days but none of them seems to be dating material, much less husband material."

I rolled my eyes. "Char, are you EVER going to find anyone who fits your checklist?"

"Sure, she will," commented Miranda, "when hell freezes over."

Char threw her book at Miranda. "I will, and when it happens, you'll be sorry when I find new best friends to be my bridesmaids!"

She gave us a triumphant look and I laughed.

"Anyway," continued Char with a serious look, "it looks like I'll be spending my time with you lot."

"Makes me feel so loved," I said.

"Shut up," she said. "You know it's depressing to go dateless to Hogsmeade. You have to be like an ultimate loser with buck teeth and no friends to do that."

"Thanks," I said again.

"You know what I mean!" she cried in exasperation.

I laughed. I loved being evil and messing with Charlotte's mind.

For my efforts, I got a pillow thrown at me.

Sometimes, I hate my friends.

I was sitting on a rickety old chair in the Three Broomsticks with Char, Miranda, Ben, and Luke. Taking a big gulp of my butterbeer, I turned back to my conversation with Luke. Pushing my blonde hair out of my face (which Char had curled so it fell in pretty waves with a flick of her wand – she _must _teach me that sometime), I said, "I cannot believe I'll be seventeen in a few weeks!"

November 8th! YES! I know it was a bit childish to love my birthday so much, but come on, any excuse to get presents, get smashed, and have fun is a great day.

Luke smiled indulgently. "Yes, excellent time for drinking. I'll be sure to buy lots of alcohol, but it'd be more fun to sneak to Hogsmeade for a few pints, eh?"

He winked. Charlotte hit him upside the head from her seat next to him where she was drinking a glass of wine ("Ich, beer, how bourgeois and tacky. Now, a nice glass of chardonnay…").

"I'll tell Dad!" Char said warningly to Luke.

He laughed. "And what's he going to do? He doesn't exactly care that we drink. He knows we do."

Oliver Wood was a player for Puddlemere and wildly famous and successful. He'd met and married Margaret (Maggie) Lawrence who also played on the team. Now let me tell you, he was bloody hot, even for a middle-aged man. Of course, thinking that about your mate's dad was a bit creepy, but it was nonetheless true.

Ben raised his bottle. "To drinking and a bloody gorgeous day outside."

Char smiled happily and raised her glass. Miranda echoed Ben's words and we clinked bottles and glasses. Merlin, I LOVED Hogsmeade days. They were so much fun.

Suddenly the door to the Three Broomsticks pinged and in walked Nate Walters. Miranda immediately flushed and I grinned smugly at her. He saw us and made a beeline in our direction, looking down at Miranda. Ooh, this was nice.

He put his hand on the back of Miranda's chair, and she looked at me pleadingly.

"Hey, Nate," I said cheerfully. "Care for a pint?"

Nate shook his head. "Actually," he said with a look at Miranda, who was flushed red, "I came to ask if Miranda wanted to come with me for the rest of the day."

Her eyes bugged and she said, "Bugger…er… sure, yes, I'd love to."

I'd never seen Miranda so flustered or tongue-tied around a bloke. She must REALLY fancy him. His blue eyes twinkled at Miranda and she gave him a smile, her usual cynical self nowhere to be found. Miranda stood, and grabbed her trench, quickly throwing it on. She tossed a couple of coins onto the table, and with a wave, tucked her arm into Nate's outstretched one and left.

"Blow me," said Ben wondrously.

"Wow," echoed Charlotte, and they exchanged a look.

"Well then, you lot, seems like it's just us for the day." I drained my bottle and looked around. "How does everyone fancy a trip to Honeydukes'?"

"Sounds lovely," said Char.

The other two nodded, and we paid and left in a hurry, anxious to buy loads of candy and sugar till the next trip. As soon as I stepped outside, the autumn wind whipped my face and the trees had leaves in various shades of orange and red and yellow. It was gorgeous.

I waved to Fred Weasley (who was on his way to Zonko's no doubt) and smiled at Albus, James's brother. After spending so much time with the Potters (and Weasleys), I tended to form friendships with his ever-growing family. Hey, at least I was good with knowing people's names.

I pushed open the door to Honeydukes' and held it open for everyone to file in. Char and Luke went straight for the lollipops (their favorite – a twin thing) and I headed for the back of the store with Miranda where the chocolate was stashed. Bugger! They were out of white chocolate. Oh well, I would just get a load of milk, my next favorite. I started grabbing bar after bar and shoving it into Miranda's outstretched hands. She was grinning maliciously. Merlin, we LOVED chocolate.

I mean, who doesn't?

After getting enough to last until the next trip (I'd need to work out A LOT to burn off all those calories. It's okay, more Quidditch!), we headed to the front of the store to pay for our goods. By the till stood James with his arm around Lucia, who was looking up at him adoringly in a dress that would only be appropriate on a balmy summer day.

Bloody HRH. Fuck her.

"Milla," said Miranda worriedly.

I shook my head and grimaced. James's head whipped round.

"Milla," he said with a smile. "Fancy seeing you here."

Lucia's brown eyes glimmered malevolently. "Camilla," she said smoothly, stretching out her hand with her perfectly painted nails.

I outstretched my own arm and grasped her hand lightly and I responded equally smoothly, "Lovely to see you."

James gave me a strange look. I ignored him.

Lucia looked at me appraisingly. "You have such an … unusual look today. Although I suppose you needn't give much thought to your clothes since you're here dateless."

James blanched a little as I stood up to my full height and put a hand on my hip. "Listen here, bitch," I snarled, "I'm here with my mates because I _choose _to and anything I do is none of your business, not that your bird shit-sized brain is capable of comprehending anything. Moreover, your _look _that you've got going here –" I looked her up and down "- is so _unique _that I can't look at it any longer. Now I'm paying for my candy and I'll leave you to go _fuck yourself._"

I shoved twenty galleons at the cashier, grabbed Miranda by the arm, and left, my heart pounding.

Holy _shit._

I leaned against the entranceway to Honeydukes', my chest heaving and my head pounding. Motherfuck. I pushed a hand through my hair when I heard an irate voice shouting, "What the fuck, Milla?"

I looked up and saw James furiously striding over. "What's going on is that your girlfriend is a cow," I said scathingly.

His eyes flashed. "That's not cause to insult her and fly into a strop."

I drew myself up to my full height and snapped, "No need to defend your bitch. I'll be going."

I turned and started taking large strides. Away from James, away from this whole mess.

I vaguely heard Charlotte yelling after me, "Milla!"

I ignored her and continued on my way.

I ended up at the pitch and sat down, tucking my head on my knees.

Oh my God. What had I done?

A while later, I heard Ben's voice calling to me from the other side of the pitch.

"Milla!" he said once he arrived, sitting down beside me. "What the fuck happened?"

I shrugged, and continued shoving my hair into a ponytail. So much for my waves that Charlotte had so painstakingly created.

His brown eyes were concerned. "Milla," he said, his voice laced with worry, "You need to talk to me. Everyone's worried."

I sighed deeply. "I suppose I'll just tell you then, shall I?"

He nodded. I took a deep breath and looked at the ground. "You know James and I have been best friends since we were born?"

He nodded. I continued on, "Well, he and I have always been so close. Since we were in nappies. And he was – and is – my _best mate. _And now, all of a sudden, I realize …" my voice faltered.

Ben looked at me questioningly, running a hand through his blond hair. "I realize I fancy him," I said quietly. My blue eyes looked beseechingly up at Ben, whose face had an expression of shock.

"Christ," he swore. "I cannot believe this."

"I know," I said, picking at the grass.

"How… when did this happen?" he asked.

"I realized it when James and I were messing around in the common room the other night," I said heavily. "And I think it's been happening this whole year."

He nodded slowly. "Okay, so you fancy him. What are you going to do about it?"

I looked at him like had run mad. "Are you bonkers? First off, James is dating HRH, and he clearly fancies here. Second, he currently hates me right now."

I looked at Ben miserably.

"Third," I added, "James would never think of me _like that._"

Ben shook his head bemusedly. "Milla," he said suddenly. "James loves you. He doesn't hate you. He couldn't. You're his best mate. You always come first, not HRH. No matter what it seems like. On top of that, I think you and James would be a good couple, come to think of it. Can't believe I haven't seen it before, actually."

He gave me a wry smile. I sniffed.

"Thanks, Ben," I said softly. He wrapped his arm around me and squeezed.

"What about you and Char, eh?" I said teasingly.

Ben gave me a look and swatted me.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I hadn't spoken to James for three days. I was so angry I could barely see straight. I couldn't focus. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't hold a proper conversation with anyone. I couldn't do any work. My mind also wouldn't think about anything _except _James.

Also, in the recesses of my mind, I knew. I knew I was hurt. I hated that James defended _her. _How could he? He was _my _best friend.

And thus the cycle went. From anger to hurt to rage to upset to every conceivable emotion in between.

Classes were bad.

I sat in Transfiguration, morosely twirling my quill and staring listlessly ahead while Professor Townsend droned on about properties of Animagi. James usually sat next to me, but since we weren't currently speaking he was sitting behind me. I could feel his gaze burning a hole in the back of my skull. I absently rubbed the back of my head.

"Now, Miss Hobbes, the Animagus will require how much time to transform?"

At the sound of my name I snapped to. I looked up guilty and hazarded a guess, "Err …"

I heard James sigh and murmur behind me, "Fifteen seconds."

My spine straightened and I said, "Fifteen seconds."

I sat, my face burning in humiliation, for the rest of the class. As soon as the bell rang, I hurried over to Luke and dragged him to the common room for free period. I didn't look at James.

Being at meals wasn't a walk in the park either. James had taken to sitting at the Ravenclaw table with HRH and darting me furtive glances when he thought I wasn't looking.

HAH. I had to forcibly make myself _not _look at him. It was all I could do to tear my gaze away from him.

The next day, I sat forlornly with everyone else at the Gryffindor table, playing with my food. How dare he sit with HRH when he should be on hands and knees apologizing to me? HOW DARE HE?

I was seething. As these thoughts crossed my mind, I became increasingly angry.

"Err, Milla, you alright there?" said Char cautiously.

"Yeah," I grumbled moodily, "I will be eventually."

Char and Miranda exchanged worried look.

Their pity was overwhelming. I needed to get out of here. I pushed myself up and said, "I'll see you later. I'm going for a run."

Wow, I was becoming Miranda.

However bad everything else was, Quidditch practice was unbearable. I couldn't skive off because James was captain and I also loved Quidditch. It made me sane.

But James was making me go _in_sane. Because he was cranky (presumably because of our very bad row?), he was driving us extra hard and it was miserable. At the same time, it felt good to forget my anger and numb it through Quidditch.

A week after the fight (not speaking to James for a week? HOW? This was the longest in our ENTIRE LIVES that we'd ever gone without speaking), I was running my sixth lap, I decided to pull off my tank and just run in my sports bra. It was too bloody hot. I dumped a bottle's worth of water on my head, and it ran down my hair, onto my face, and wet my back and it felt damn good. I shook my hair out and started to run.

Three laps later, I was done and completely out of breath. I stood there, my chest heaving, and my hands on my knees. I stood up straight, and stretched, bringing my gaze up.

James was staring, his brown eyes wide.

Hang on a moment? Why wasn't he staring at my face? What was….

Oh.

_NO. _James was staring at my breasts? HAHA.

Of its own volition, a smile spread across my face. Even though I was supposed to be angry.

James noticed I was staring at him staring and he ran a hand through his hair and shook his head like a wet dog. He had a look of anguish and… desire flit across his face. He looked, in a word, tortured.

Well, let him torture himself. After all, takes care of my job of getting revenge, doesn't it? I turned and left, satisfied.

And this was the best revenge of all.

James had us do another Quidditch practice the next day and I couldn't get his look from yesterday out of my head. On some level, it made me happy that he noticed I was a girl, and not just plain old Milla Hobbes, best mate.

After doing fifteen laps (FIFTEEN? Was James out of his mind? And why was he being extra mean today?), I decided to take off my shirt again to finish the last four. By the end, I was so exhausted that I promptly collapsed in the middle of the pitch. I laid on the pitch, sweating and breathing hard. Merlin, what a vigorous workout.

I looked up at the sky, lost in my thoughts. What a beautiful fall day. Suddenly someone was standing next to me, their feet next to my head. Wait, I recognized those trainers.

Oh, shit, James. I sat up angrily, pushing myself off the ground and turning to leave without a word. I started to walk as quickly as I could.

"Milla!" he called after me. I ignored him.

"CAMILLA!" he roared. Fuck. He was mad. I turned back and walked slowly back to him. He was giving me a furious look, his broad shoulders set in a tense position.

"We need to talk. Now," he said abrasively.

I crossed my arms defensively. "So talk," I said brusquely.

His stance softened as he took me in. So did the hard look in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Milla," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I immediately melted. Damn James for knowing what makes me stop being angry. Anger was good – manageable. Hurt was not. It was something I wasn't used to dealing with, and it scared me.

I looked down. "Me too," I mumbled.

"Come here," he said, outstretching his arms. I immediately hugged him and he wrapped his arms tightly around me. I suddenly remembered I wasn't wearing a shirt and I was embracing James. Fuck.

"Er, James?" I said hesitantly.

"Yes?" He looked down at me inquiringly.

"I'm, er, not wearing a shirt, and you're hugging me." I pointed to my sports bra.

A strange look passed over his face before he shrugged. "So? S'not like I haven't seen you in a bra before."

"True," I said slowly. "But won't Lucia be mad?"

"Fuck Lucia," he said feelingly. "I don't give two shits. You and I have to talk _now._ I can't bloody stand not speaking to you. It's driving me mad."

This made a warm glow spread inside me. James missed me. Even if I knew I fancied James, I missed my best friend the most.

I smiled slightly. "Okay, let's talk."

"Why did you insult her?" he asked bluntly. Wow, way to be subtle.

"I don't know. I just … I got so angry that you were with her instead of us like you usually are. I _miss _you, James."

He hugged me tighter in response.

"Milla," he mumbled into my hair. "You're my best mate. Nothing will ever change that. I love you."

But not in the way I wanted him to.

However, now was not the time.

"I know," I said in exasperation. "I love you too. But why did you _defend _her when she was being such a cow to me? I come first, don't I? You've known me since we were zero. We grew up together. You know me better than anyone. And for you to defend her … made me furious," I finished.

He nodded into my hair, and finally lifted his head and rested his chin on top of my head.

"I get it. But you didn't need to be so bloody rude."

"James, you don't! My point is that I'm supposed to be your best mate. Not Lucia. And you're spending all your time with her. This isn't even about the row in Hogsmeade. It's that you hardly spend time with me. Or anyone, for that matter. You're always with _her._"

I had to remind myself to say Lucia and not HRH. Bleeding cow. Wrecked everything.

He squeezed me tighter. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

I nodded against his chest.

"I'm going to try to spend more time with you. I know I've been with her a lot, but with everything going on it's been tough to juggle everything," he promised.

I smiled. "One more thing, James," I said with a glint in my eye. "If you _ever _defend her over me again, I won't speak to you ever again."

James laughed. "Deal."

"Oh, and for the record, I don't like Lucia," I added.

James's face sobered up again. "I know. That's a problem."

"Too bloody bad. No one likes her. So I'm not going to try to be nice to her. Sorry."

He gave me a final squeeze. "Fine, Milla. Just keep talking to me. I need you with me at all times. Do you know how many times I turned to exchange a quip or comment with you and I couldn't because we weren't speaking? I've been running _mad _all week!" he said.

Well, that made me happy. A girl couldn't ask for more. Well, except dumping HRH, but that'd be asking too much, wouldn't it? That'd be unreasonable, unfortunately.

"Me too," I said simply. Because it was true. Above all, he was my best friend.

With his arm around me, we went on one of our infamous walks around the lake.

That night on patrol I had a giddy smile on my face. I couldn't help it. I was so happy that James and I were best mates again.

"Well, you're bloody cheerful," commented Ben.

"I know," I said ebulliently. "James and I made up."

Ben put his arms around me in a congratulatory hug. "That's brilliant."

"Isn't it? I'm so relieved we're talking."

"How did it happen?"

"Well," I began enthusiastically, "I was on the pitch after practice and James came up to me and we just kind of worked things out."

"You're so lucky you don't have problems anymore."

"Well," I said ruefully. "There's still HRH and the fact that I fancy him and he doesn't reciprocate. But for the moment, that's okay."

Ben grimaced. "I'm sorry. And it seems of late, that I've er …"

My gaze snapped up to his face. "Go on."

He sighed. "It seems that I've developed a bit of a tender for Charlotte."

I shrieked and clapped my hands. "Finally!"

He looked shocked. "What d'you mean, finally?" 

"Well obviously we all knew!" I shouted gleefully. "Oh, Ben, this is _amazing! _It's so cute. You and Charlotte will be perfect together, and you'll get married and have lots of adorable children –"

"Before we get ahead of ourselves in our rapture," he said dryly. "Might I remind you that Charlotte neither knows nor fancies me. She's waiting for her checklist," he added slightly bitterly.

I sobered up and patted him on the arm.

"She'll come round eventually. She definitely fancies you," I said assuredly.

"You think?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, I do."

"But she still acts oddly around me," he said.

"I know, but she's freaked out. She's _Charlotte. _She can't wrap her mind around the fact that she might fancy someone other than Mr. Checklist and who is her best mate."

"True," he said pensively.

"I recommend spending more time with her. She'll come round," I said encouragingly.

"Okay, I'll try that," he replied. "What about you and James?"

"It's not going to happen. He doesn't think of me that way," I said with a frown.

"I don't think so," he began but I lifted my hand.

"Don't bother. You needn't do that. But please, hurry up and date Char so I can win my bet," I said with a grin.

If I couldn't get James, I wanted my money from James at least, damn it.

I sat with a letter from Mum, lounging on my bed.

_Dear Milla,_

_I'm sorry to hear you and James are having a row. I know you don't like his girlfriend, dear, but he's going to have on eventually. One day, sweetheart, he'll have a wife and you won't be first. _

_In the meanwhile, he'll come round eventually. You should apologize. I know you, you'll wait till he does first, but that's my advice._

_Make sure Ian is doing his work and not just pranking people. That boy hasn't written me in three weeks and I'm worried. _

_Your dad says hi by the way._

_We miss you darling._

_Love, _

_Mum_

_p.s. Do you fancy James, Milla? If so, I want my money from Ginny._

ARGH! Bloody Mum. Betting on me! What the fuck!

Why did everyone know before me?


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Halloween was approaching fast. The air had turned crisp and cool and whipped my face any time I stepped outside. I was now bundling up in my jacket with a thick scarf and hat, although the sun shone benevolently down on me.

To celebrate All Hallows' Eve – it's got to be the best excuse in the world for people to dress like slags and get smashed – Gryffindor was planning its yearly party. 'Party' was synonymous with drinking, fooling around, and general merriment. It was a bloody good time.

Of course, I never dressed up for Halloween, since there were no options for girls except for witch or slutty nurse. So instead, I treated the holiday as an excuse to dress up nicely, decked out in my finest, since there were so few days a year when I could do that. Although, I needed to find a day where I could go to Hogsmeade to get a new dress with Char and Miranda.

Fred Weasley, James's closest cousin, was orchestrating the whole event with Rose Weasley (who, by the way, was snogging Scorpius Malfoy and it was bloody hysterical when Ron, her dad, found out. He had a complete shit fit). Al and Lily were helping with stealing food provisions from the kitchens. God, it was like an army operation.

"Okay," barked Fred, "We'll be having approximately a hundred guests that day, which is in only one week, people!"

I burst out laughing and he glared at me, but I caught James's eye and he was muffling laughter behind his hand.

Rose rolled her blue eyes and ran a hand through her red wavy hair. She looked _exactly _like her father. It was a bit scary actually. "Shut up, Freddie," she said good-naturedly.

I loved that girl. She could control anyone, like her mother, with a simple sentence.

Ah, the power of being a woman.

Which I apparently didn't have. "OI! JAMES!" I shouted yet again. He finally stopped sniggering and glanced up at me.

"Fetch me a blanket, would you?" I commanded, none too nicely.

James's brow furrowed. "You're shitting me. I'm not your bloody house elf, Milla."

"I'm cold!" I protested, laughing.

He shoved me aside and sat down on the couch. "Watch."

I watched bemusedly as he laid down and pulled me with him so I was resting on his chest, his arm draped casually around my waist. I could hear his heart beating beneath me, and his muscles from years of playing Quidditch.

Oh my _God_, he was fit.

I had to stifle a groan. Focus, I commanded myself. He's your best mate.

YOUR BEST MATE.

Maybe if I chanted it enough I would remember it.

Maybe I needed to get it tattooed on my body somewhere so I could remember this vital detail.

Oh, fuck me.

Well maybe James could…

AH! I needed to stop. This was unacceptable. James is your best friend. Nothing more. He never will be.

This thought sobered me up, and I rested my head against his chest and sighed.

"Everything okay, love?" he said, his deep voice rumbling in his chest.

"Yeah, I s'pose so," I murmured sleepily.

Merlin, I was so tired… my eyes fluttered shut.

That's the last thing I remember before passing out.

That Thursday, I was sitting in the common room, bored, flipping through a book. Miranda was on her daily jog, Charlotte was doing a project in the library, Ben was helping Luke with Transfiguration, and I was all alone. I didn't know where James was.

I sighed and tossed my book aside, staring into the fire. Merlin, there was literally NOTHING TO DO.

Just when I was considering leaping out the window, James's amused voice said, "Milla, what the hell are you doing here alone?"

I shrugged. "I'm so bored I could die."

"Why don't you and I go have some fun then, hm?" said James with a smile.

"Brilliant idea!" I shouted. I jumped up and looked down at myself in my jeans and sweatshirt.

I'm sorry, I draw the line. I'm not going around in public looking like this.

"Hang on," I called out over my shoulder as I raced up the stairs. I pulled off my gray sweatshirt and pulled on a pretty, flowy tank and a cashmere sweater. I did a quick once-over in the mirror, threw on a necklace, and waltzed down the stairs. There, that was better. I had little self-dignity, but I had _some. _

James looked at me in amusement. "You needed to _change_?"

I crossed my arms defensively. "I wanted to."

"Milla, it's _me _remember?" he said.

"Obviously, you dolt," I said, smacking him upside the head.

God, boys are such idiots.

"Whatever, you lunatic," he said, with his hands up in front of him. I smacked him again.

"Git," I muttered, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"Okay, so where to?" he asked.

"The kitchens! Duh."

"Okay, but first, a walk around the lake," he suggested.

"Good idea," I agreed. It was a beautiful evening.

As I stepped out into the dusk, I felt the cold wind wash over me. I hugged my jacket tighter to me and looked at the landscape stretched out in front of me. The Great Lake loomed in the distance, various colors rippling in the water. I glanced up at James, and his imperturbable face was looking at some indeterminate spot in the distance.

I felt a wave of affection for him wash over me and I tucked my arm through his. He peered down at me and smiled. I felt oddly comfortable with him. It was something old and familiar, but combined with a new feeling – a feeling of satisfaction. This felt right.

_Mr. and Mrs. Potter strolling by the lake on a chilly autumn evening with their children – _

Oh, goodness, I needed to stop this nonsense. I would soon become a bedlamite.

Or Charlotte.

But Camilla Bancroft Potter did sound _so _good, didn't it?

Oh God, I was fucked. I hit myself on the forehead.

"Er, Milla, you alright?" James asked bemusedly.

"Yeah, I think so," I mumbled. God, I was so stupid.

"So, how was your day?" James queried.

"It was okay. Peeves made up a jeer about Miranda and Nate flirting so I had to avert that disaster. But otherwise uneventful. You?"

"Oh, not much. After you and I had lunch, I spent time with Lucia upstairs and we –"

I cut him off sharply. "That's lovely."

James gave me a look. "I know you don't like her, but she's there. Milla, I have a girlfriend."

I frowned. "I know that, James."

"Trying to avoid the subject of her won't make her disappear, you know," James said knowingly. "I know you, Milla. I know you try to avoid things that you don't like."

I flicked him. I know, so mature.

"Don't much care, do I?" I stuck out my chin obstinately.

"But you should! She's my girlfriend and I'm your best mate. Therefore you should care and try to be good about this," he said rationally, raising his brow.

I raised my own in response. "Well, I don't. I'm sorry, I don't know if that's the right thing to say, but I don't give a shit about her. I love you, my best mate, and not the cow you're currently seeing. And because I've known you so long, I don't have to bullshit around you. I'm not going to pretend I like the bitch. Sorry."

James sighed heavily. "Of course, love. That's you. As long as you don't love Quidditch more than me –"

I punched his arm. "Duh, you git."

Suddenly a figure appeared in the distance, running towards us. Ah, Miranda. As she passed, she gave me a wry look and waved. I rapidly remembered our situation – my arm tucked into James, and us chatting. Oh my, that was so couple-y of us.

I automatically smiled at the thought.

"What're you smiling about?" he asked me.

"Nothing," I said airily. "Now, shall we head to the kitchens?"

"Oi, James! Pass me the salad, eh?" I laughed.

"Salad is too healthy, Milla," he said, scrunching his nose.

"Psh. When you die of a heart attack at age twenty-five, I'll know why. And I'll also throw a party."

James rolled his eyes. "Sure you would. And you won't be devastated and giving my eulogy."

I threw a roll at him.

"Course I won't. I'd be ecstatic if you kicked the bucket."

Ah, I had such a way with words.

"You have such a way with words, Milla," he said sardonically. "You're so kind to me."

"Well, what's the point of beating around the bush? You die, you die. You kick the bucket. Same thing."

"Don't be so sensitive!" he said with a melodramatic flourish. I simply threw another roll at him.

"Arse," I said.

"I'm not the bint here," he responded laughingly.

"That's it! If you're going to be mean to me, I'm leaving," I said with a dramatic flair. I stood, turned and made to leave but I felt a pair of arms snake around my waist.

"No you're not," a deep voice said in my ear and I felt myself shiver as his warm breath made the hairs by my ear waver.

I quickly shrugged off his arms and turned to gaze at him. "Then don't be a right git," I said, trying to inject some normalcy into this rapidly intensifying situation.

His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled. "Come off it. Okay, It's getting late, so we can grab some dessert and take it with us, yeah?"

I nodded. "Pumpkin pasties?" he asked. He didn't need to. He knew my favorites. He grabbed fifteen (ten for himself, and five for me), and magicked them to become smaller to fit in his pocket.

"Let's go," he said, putting a hand on the small of my back to guide me out of the kitchens.

"Fuck, it's past curfew. Now we have to sneak back, and I forgot the Cloak in my dormitory," he said with a grimace.

My eyes gleamed. "Since when are you one to turn down a challenge?"

James gave me a lopsided grin and I felt my heart warm. James was … so _James. _It was something indescribable but so quintessentially him.

We made our way back to Gryffindor tower, taking circuitous routes, and laughing as James told me about trying to do Quidditch strategies during History of Magic and how Binns caught him. James, as usual, got out of punishment by telling him these plans were for his dying mother and he even feigned a tear describing in loving detail how much his mother adored Quidditch. And Binns _bought _it. Hmph. Typical James and his success.

Suddenly we heard footsteps in the hallway. FUCK. Luckily, after years of traversing after hours in the castle, we knew which corners and behind which statues to hide.

It was the benefit of being best friends with a Potter.

James grabbed my hand and pulled me behind a tapestry into an alcove. He pushed me in front of him and flattened me against the wall, his chin a few inches above my head. Humph. Bloody height difference.

"Is he gone?" I asked quietly, exhaling loudly. Fuck, that was a mistake. As I did that, my chest came into contact with his and I suppressed a shudder. Oh my God, he was so _fit. _Why did I have to be his best friend and therefore unavailable to him? WHY?

I looked up at James, breathless. His eyes were unreadable as he gazed down at me, and his mouth was set in a grim line. So being this close to me was repulsive for him, was it?

Bugger.

The footsteps grew louder and James pushed me further into the wall, covering my mouth with his hand. I could feel his every muscle outlined against my body and I was in sheer agony. I breathed hard against his hand, the rough dry skin covering my lips.

The footsteps had stopped around the tapestry and I held my breath. After a pregnant pause, they continued on their way, and once they had rounded the corner, James immediately moved away from me, running a hand through his hair, his face inscrutable.

I felt a look of hurt flash over my face. I wasn't that hideous, was I?

I quickly rearranged my features and said falsely cheerily, "Whoof. Thank God we didn't get caught."

"Er, yeah," James said distractedly. "Yeah, you're right."

We walked in companionable silence back to the tower.

Once inside, James grinned at me crookedly and gave me a quick hug. "Milla, want to come up with me?"

I wanted nothing more, but the image of him recoiling from me made me shake my head somberly. "No, I think I'll go up."

James looked astonished, but shrugged casually. "Okay, night Milla."

"Night James." I smiled over my shoulder.

It was the first time I had ever refused to spend the night with him.

I was picking out jewelry to go with my dress in Hogsmeade with Char and Miranda. We had snuck out for a girls' night to buy dresses for the Halloween party. It was a yearly tradition.

I had already picked out a gray, shimmery dress, and some black heels. But now for the jewelry. Hmm.

"THIS!" cried Charlotte victoriously and she thrust a sparkling pair of chandelier earrings in my direction.

I crushed her in a hug. "I love you! You're amazing!"

"I know," she said smugly.

Miranda rolled her eyes from the rack she was perusing casually with one hand.

"So you had fun with James?" she asked.

"Yes. Oh my God, Miranda, after we went for a walk and saw you, we went to the kitchens and had a lovely evening."

Charlotte clasped her hands. "Oh, you two would make such a brilliant couple," she said, with tears in her eyes.

I threw a shoe at her. "Except for the pesky fact that he has a girlfriend."

Charlotte waved her hand dismissively. "It'll end."

I shook my head morosely. "No it won't. They'll marry and have the children _I'm _meant to have with him."

No, I did NOT just say that out loud. FUCK.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "Okay, Charlotte, since apparently that's who you've become. You two are insufferable."

I threw the other shoe at Miranda.

Great friends these two were.

"You will be with him," Charlotte insisted, looking at me intently.

I rolled my eyes, but inside I secretly hoped she was right.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

It was finally Halloween! The castle had been festooned with pumpkins with scary cutout eyes (those fucking _creeped me out _– every since James charmed one to chase me – well, let's just not go there).

I put on an extra coat of mascara (while being threatened by Charlotte) and slipped on my heels, which I never learned to walk in properly, despite countless lessons from Charlotte. I could pretend for a bit with minimal movement, but after a while they just came off.

I was wearing a champagne-colored dress made of a shimmery material – no idea what it was made of, ask Charlotte. My hair was falling in loose waves (again, courtesy of Charlotte), and my necklace (ditto) was sparkling elegantly in the evening light.

I looked over to see Miranda, elegantly dressed in a blue number, and then turned to Charlotte, who was… in jeans and a sweater? HUH?

I glanced over at her in confusion. She flushed.

"Er, Char, why aren't you ready?" I asked perplexedly.

"I … I don't feel well," she said, her eyes darting around. She really was a horrible liar.

I looked at her.

She obstinately avoided my gaze.

I stared unabashedly.

After five minutes of this, she hit her bed with a fist and cried out, "OKAY! Okay. I'll tell you."

"Now."

She picked at a loose thread in her duvet. "Well, the thing is," she said plaintively, looking earnestly at me, "I don't want a repeat of the last party."

Ah. That made sense.

I nodded in sympathy. "I understand. But maybe you could just not drink as much this time?" I suggested gently.

She shook her head in misery. "No, it's alright. I just … I'm not up to going," she finished, shrugging.

Miranda put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "It's okay, Char," Miranda said comfortingly. I nodded in assent.

Char smiled softly. "Thanks, but you lot go. You look lovely. Have a brilliant time."

I nodded and turned to walk down the stairs, Miranda in tow. As I tottered precariously down the stairs (bloody heels!), I heard Charlotte calling after me, "And don't take those heels off, Milla!"

Ugh. Bloody Charlotte.

Miranda sniggered at me and I pinched her. I know, I'm so mature.

After eventually making it down the stairs without catapulting to my death, I grabbed a drink and started to sip it (hopefully to numb the thudding pain in my feet – urgh). Music was playing in the background and people were clustered in groups, chatting and drinking (or chugging, as was the case of Luke and Freddie Weasley).

Ben sidled up to me, a confused expression on his face. "Eh, Milla, where's Char?'

Shit. Double shit. Quick! What do I say! I looked around, panicking, for Miranda – for her to extricate me from this horrific situation, but she was nowhere to be found. Blast.

I pasted a bright social smile on my face and let out a pealing laugh, slapping Ben on the arm. He look alarmed.

"Well, it's funny you should ask, she's uh … come down with the measles…" I fibbed, averting my eyes.

Ben fixed a stern glare on his face, I cowered a bit. "Camilla Bancroft Hobbes, you tell me _this instant _what's going on," he said, sounding eerily like my mum.

Bloody hell.

"She, uh, had an engagement with the Minister of .. of Magic, Ernest Sinclair," I said with an apologetic smile. Motherfuck. Why was I such a shitty liar?

"MILLA!"

"Okay, okay. She's afraid there'll be a repeat of last time."

A look of understanding flashed over his face. "Oh. I need … I need to go talk to her," he said determinedly.

To my utter astonishment, he Summoned his broom and rode it up to our dorm. Oh, lovely.

I'll be dead by tomorrow.

I gulped down the remnants of my champagne, and decided it was time for something stronger. Firewhiskey. Preferably lots of it.

I decided that it looked strange for me to be standing in a corner alone – and since James was undoubtedly with HRH – I went to find Miranda.

With a new glass of a strong cocktail (dunno what's in it, I just got Luke to get me one) in my hand, I set out to find my errant friend. Cursing my heels as I tripped over a drunken Gryffindor who was sprawled on the ground, I continued on, past people busy engaged in dances one only does when one is extremely smashed (I will _not _tell you about my experiences last Halloween, sorry, not happening), and I neatly sidestepped a brawl, locating Miranda flirting heavily with Nate.

Of course.

Her cheeks were flushed from drink and she was gazing intimately at Nate. I felt like I was intruding on them by just looking at them. So I hastily tore away my gaze and evaluated my options.

I could go interrupt and officially be the worst friend ever.

I could go upstairs with Char and sulk in misery.

I could go out for some air and wander aimlessly.

Ah, yes, finally a decent choice.

I slipped past Miranda and Nate flirting, and was going to go up to my dorm to get a cardigan when I saw Ben and Charlotte coming down the stairs, laughing and talking.

I smiled and greeted them. "So, what are you lot up to?"

Charlotte's eyes were shining and Ben had a huge grin on his face. "What…?" I asked in bemusement as my gaze traveled down their forms to their entwined hands. Oh my God!

"Oh my God!" I breathed, eyes dancing. "Congratulations!"

I hugged both of them, happy for them, but I felt an odd emptiness settle in my stomach. I gazed at all the couples around the room, and felt a bit forlorn. I was the only one not in a couple. I was a Singleton. Bah.

"So how did it happen?" I asked, smiling brightly.

"Well, Ben came up, and demanded why I wasn't down their, and we got to talking, and then …" Char shrugged, smiling, and spread her arm to indicate them. As a couple.

I shot Maid of Honor! Oh my goodness.

Ben gave a hearty laugh and ruffled Charlotte's hair. "About bloody time," he said contentedly.

Ohh-kayy. I could be happy, but I was personally uninvolved with someone, so I couldn't be _that _effusive. Sorry. I'm a selfish bint.

Well, I could hide that. "I'm so happy," I gushed, sincerely. I mean, I was. I just wanted what they had for myself.

"I think," I said after a moment, "I'm going to go out for a bit of air, okay?"

Char smiled and nodded. With a wave, I walked toward the portrait of the Fat Lady.

I passed Miranda and Nate again, and pointed out Char and Ben to Miranda. She laughed.

Then I spotted a familiar dark head. I rushed over to say hi but I didn't see what he was doing.

Or rather, _who. _

He was sitting in a lounge chair, with Lucia sodding Thomas straddling his lap, and snogging his brains out. They were practically shagging, for fuck's sake. I felt my fists clench and my heartbeat speed up out of anger and disgust. The thing that really struck me in the gut was that James looked so _into _it. He had his hands cupping Lucia's face, kissing her voraciously.

I felt my vision blind with unshed tears, and I blinked them back furiously as I strode to the portrait, breathing hard.

I walked quickly through corridors, taking shortcuts to get out of the castle as rapidly as I could. I needed to be outside. Stupid bloody heels. I finally reached the exit and pushed open the heavy doors into the bracing air.

Merlin, that felt good. There was nothing like a splash of cold air to alleviate anger.

There were a few people milling about and I caught sight of a familiar head in the distance. 

"Luke!" I shouted thickly. I ambled over to him, blinking and pulling out my wand to erase any evidence that I'd been about to cry.

"Hey, Milla," he said jovially, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Why are you out here?" I asked curiously.

"I needed some air. Had too much to drink," he explained.

I nodded. "I did too."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? It's not because you saw James eating HRH's face off?"

I shoved him. He scowled. "Maybe," I mumbled. "But you should've seen them! They were practically shagging, right there. It was disgusting."

"I know," he said in sympathy. "It was rather off-setting."

"I needed to leave. I couldn't handle it," I said, wishing I had a cardigan.

Hey, I was a witch. I could just Summon it. Ah, I was such a genius.

I pulled it on, saying, "I don't know how much more I can handle of them."

"Look, James will come round eventually. He gets so angry when you're with other blokes. You're his best mate. I think he just hasn't noticed it yet. You know, he's quite stupid," Luke said with a grin.

I smiled, my eyes watery again. Blast, stupid hormones. I erased the tears with a flick of my wand. I hated crying in front of others. It was embarrassing.

"Did you notice," I said, changing the subject. "Charlotte and Ben together?"

Luke's eyes opened wide as saucers. "No!" he said loudly, flabbergasted.

"Yes," I said gleefully.

Charlotte's twin looked shocked. "But it's my … mate and my sister!"

"Yep."

"But … but… it's _them_."

"Yep."

'But…"

"Yep."

"Oh, Christ," he said forcefully. "I can't believe this."

"Me neither," I agreed. "But they're a good couple."

Luke sighed. "I know, it's just weird. Well, now I can prank them and tease them till they die."

I laughed. "That's one way of looking at it."

"The world's gone crazy," he commented.

"I know. Look at me. I'm pining after my best mate," I said, shrugging.

Luke laughed sarcastically. "Yeah, it's a fucked up world," he said wryly. "Who knew?"

I punched his arm lightly and leaned against Luke. "Well, hopefully we'll end up together."

"Who will?" a deep voice interrupted us.

Ugh fuck. James. I didn't know if I could handle him right now.

"Nothing," I said lightly. "Me and Ben. I was joking," I added after I noticed a deep scowl form on his handsome features. Even his posture screamed dislike. His broad shoulders were set in a tense stance.

James ran a hand anxiously through his hair. "Why are you here?" he asked with a slight frown as he surveyed Luke and me.

" We needed some air," I explained with a shrug.

"Yeah, mate," added Luke with an easy grin.

"Some _air_?" he asked suspiciously, with a raised eyebrow. His brown eyes flashed.

"Yes," I said, crossing my arms. What was his problem? I mean, come on, it was me and _Luke. _Luke who thought flinging food at people was funny.

James was looking at me with an expression I'd never seen before on his face. His jaw was set in a grim line, and his body was still tense. His gaze was smoldering and I felt myself flush involuntarily. I quickly cleared my throat and said, "James, we just needed to get away for a bit. I'm sure you saw Ben and Char?"

He nodded curtly. "Yes," he said shortly.

Luke gave him a weird look. I agreed. What the fuck was going on with James?

"Well, I hate to cut short this lovely chat, but I'm going to go back in. Lucia is probably wondering where I am," he said flatly and turned and stalked back to the castle.

Well, blow me down. I've rarely seen James behave that shortly to anyone, and never to me.

"I don't understand," I said vaguely to Luke who was just as perplexed.

"Not a clue," said Luke with a shrug.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I sat down groggily at in the Great Hall. I had already had two hangover potions and I was still knackered. Ugh, I was never drinking again.

How many times had I promised that to myself this year?

Too many to count.

I grabbed a roll and spread butter on it, crankily. I fucking hated being hung over. It was a blasted misery. Bugger.

I looked up and Charlotte walking with Ben toward me, his hand on her back and they were both chipper as birds in the spring. I felt like punching them.

No one, by law, should be allowed to be in a bloody good mood after a hangover.

They sat down across from me, and Ben pecked Charlotte on the cheek. Holy fuck. They were being so coupleish. They would stop using "I" and beginning sentences with "We think" or "We do". They would also engage in excessive amounts of PDA.

It was inevitable and invariable with all couples.

And it inevitably and invariably sucked if you weren't part of one.

Blast.

"You're too cheerful," I muttered moodily.

"Oh, Milla, do shut up for once," Charlotte said giddily.

"We're officially going out," Ben added unnecessarily.

Oh, joy.

"Congratulations!" I shouted effusively (and fakely – too early!).

I needed some good old cynicism and sarcasm. Who was my cynical touchstone?

MIRANDA. OH MY GOD. I needed her now, before I exploded in frustration.

Too. Many. Couples.

I chatted with them as we ate breakfast, itching to leave. I made an excuse to leave and ran for it. Before I died from drowning in gooiness.

As I rounded a corner, I ran into someone. A someone with a hard chest and unbelievable musculature and who was my supposed best mate.

But as I gazed at his face I noticed his hair was in its usual disarray and his jaw was set, and he seemed… upset. I felt concern wash over me.

"James?" I asked worriedly, grasping his hand tightly. "What's wrong, darling?"

His eyes flashed. "I found out something. When I was out with you and Luke yesterday," his eyes narrowed slightly here and I hit him, "It seems that Lucia decided to cozy up to someone else and snog them. I believe it was Carl Verbatte."

I gasped. "She cheated on you? That whore."

I couldn't help a huge smile from creeping onto my face. James noticed and gave a bark of a laugh.

"So I dumped her. Obviously. She was getting clingy yesterday. And there are more important things," he said meaningfully, squeezing my hand.

"Important things?" I asked breathlessly.

"Yes," he said looking into my eyes. "You."

My heart began to pound and I felt as if I were on cloud nine. Knots were building in my stomach and I felt breathless.

"You are, after all, my best mate, and she was interfering with that," he added casually.

My euphoria crashed. Oh, that was what he meant. Of course. I tried to sound upbeat as I said, "Of course."

James rested his arm around me and said, "Shall we?"

He gestured out a window to the Great Lake and I smiled. "Yes. Let's go."

Now that Lucia was out of the picture things improved drastically. All of James's time was not sapped by HRH. It was great. I was his priority ( I mean, I always knew I was, but it was obvious again).

After a grueling practice (during which Ben and Charlotte had to be told several times not to flirt and to concentrate on the damn game), James and I decided to go for a walk. I showered and dressed and waited for James outside on the pitch. He joined me and put a protective arm around my shoulders. I leaned gratefully onto him, fitting perfectly against him.

I opened my mouth to say something when a shrill voice interrupted us, "You dumped me for _her_?"

What the fuck. Lucia sodding Thomas was standing in front of us, hands on hips.

James glared at her, squeezing me closer to him. "No, Thomas, I dumped you because you snogged someone else and were being your usual horrible self," he drawled.

I smiled maliciously and said, inspecting my nails, "Now, you self-serving bitchy whore, kindly get the fuck out or I'll make you."

She gasped and cried dramatically, "James! Do something to that _bint_!"

James's face contorted with rage and he said, his voice hard with fury, "Don't you dare insult my best friend, the most intelligent, _honorable, _and beautiful girl. If you say _one word _that is disrespectful about her, you'll have me to answer to."

Lucia visibly blanched and I pulled out my wand, flicking it expertly and leaving her hanging upside down. I smiled smugly at my handiwork and said with a falsely saccharine voice, "Do enjoy your view. Have a lovely day, whore."

I pulled a stunned James with me.

"Well done, love," he said, grinning at me. "Knew you were brilliant, Milla."

"I know," I said, smiling happily.

It dawned on me that he had called me beautiful and I felt a happy glow spread inside me. I leaned further into him as we strolled.

News that James and HRH had split spread like wildfire throughout the school. Girls gave James coy glances in the hallways and openly fawned over him, whispering like mad to one another. This had never bothered me before, but now it irked me endlessly.

I hadn't had to worry about this when James was dating HRH. I suppose that was the only benefit of them dating. Now I scowled whenever a girl so much as glanced at James.

Meanwhile he and I were completely back to normal (except me fancying him) and the whole Lucia thing was all but forgotten.

That evening I sat in the common room with James's head in my lap. Char was sitting on Ben, and Luke was eyeing them in disbelief.

I think the idea of Ben and Charlotte dating hadn't quite sunk in yet.

"Charlotte, would you please get off my mate? And Ben, would you please stop fondling my _twin _sister?" Luke asked in disgust, making a face.

Char sent him a glare and snuggled further into Ben, who grinned apologetically at Luke. I laughed. James smiled up at me.

"Sorry, mate," called James from his spot. "Seems like they'll be getting married any day now."

Ben sent James a look and Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Shut up, you idiot," said Ben.

James grinned, his dark eyes flashing. I smacked James on the arm. "Dolt," I said affectionately.

"Speaking of which, it's your birthday soon!" James said.

"HEY! I am not an idiot," I said indignantly.

He gave a deep laugh and I punched him again. "But yes, it is my birthday. And we're doing Hogsmeade."

Charlotte laughed. "Okay, sounds good. By the way, where's Miranda?" 

"Probably snogging Nate," I said with a gleam in my eye.

"_She _is not snogging Nate. _She _is about to commit murder," came an amused voice.

My head whipped round and I saw Miranda, folding her arms defensively and eyeing me with a raised brow.

I gave her the finger and smirked. James laughed appreciatively.

"So Ben, you loving the girlfriend?" asked Miranda with a smile as she sat down next to me.

Ben gave Char a light squeeze. "Yes I am," he said with a grin. "I'm one lucky bloke. Although she _can _be a bit annoying."

Char glared at him and said in a mock-angry voice, "Well, maybe you won't be having a _girlfriend _anymore!"

Ben laughed. Char smacked him. Hey, it was like me and James!

We really did abuse each other.

I wondered if James had suffered brain damage from all the hitting over the years and whether this would be an impediment to our future married bliss (hopefully). I looked down at him fondly. His dark hair was in its usual disarray, his brown eyes sparkled mischievously and there was a smile tugging at his lips.

He saw me looking at him intently and he glanced up at me questioningly from his spot on my lap. "What's up, Milla?" he asked with a quirked brow.

I smiled softly. "Nothing," I said happily. "Nothing at all."

_Dear Milla,_

_Haven't heard from you in ages, darling. Tsk tsk. Your mummy has been worried. Oh, don't tell me that you're sixteen and don't need to write every week._

_Dearest, it is your duty to assuage your mum's endless concerns for you by writing. And I also would like to know that Ian hasn't murdered himself yet by being his stupid self. Have him write me, would you?_

_It's almost your birthday, Milla! Seventeen. I can't believe it. Why, I remember when I was cradling you in my arms at St. Mungo's for the first time when you were born. Merlin, how time flies!_

_Have a lovely time on your birthday, darling, and we'll see you soon. Say hi to James for me, would you?_

_Dad says hi and he misses you (don't know why that blasted man can't write you himself. He is too lazy, I say.) _

_Love,_

_Mum_

_P.S. Check up on Ian! I mean it!_

Ah shit. I hadn't seen much of Ian lately, had I? I'd spent some time with him last week but I'd been so busy with him (ahem: with James) and I'm sure he was happy screwing around somewhere and skiving off.

I saw a blond head in the distance and shouted after it. "IAN! Come here!"

The head wouldn't turn. I hurried after the rapidly retreating back and finally reached him. I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around and Scorpius Malfoy looked at me in confusion.

"Er, Hobbes, I'm not your brother," he said with a grin.

I smiled and patted him on the head. "Sorry, Malfoy, going to find Albus are you?"

He nodded with a smile. They were best mates (they'd gotten over that Potter-Malfoy feud thing ages ago) and Scorpius had been sorted into Gryffindor.

I waved at him as I turned to go. "Need to find Ian or my mum will kill me!" I shouted over my shoulder by way of explanation.

I finally located Ian in the common room, his blond head shaking as a boy in his year spoke to him.

"Ian! Hi!" I said with a smile.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Hi, Milla. What's up?" he asked genially.

Well, he was in a good mood.

Wait a second, the last time he was in a good mood he had orchestrated a huge prank … or he snogged someone.

"How many detentions?" I asked with a raised brow.

"What? I don't have any detentions," he said, looking at me confusedly.

"Damn. Who did you snog?" I tried to second option.

He made a face, his blue eyes flashing. "I'm not telling you, you lunatic! You'll tell Mum."

I hit him upside the head. "OW!" he cried.

I smirked.

"That's what you get for not telling me, Ian. So 'fess up and tell me," I said airily.

"No bloody way!" he shouted. I smacked him again. I really was quite violent.

"You'll be sorry!" I cried over my shoulder as I walked away from him. "And you're right, I WOULD tell Mum!"

I smacked into someone. Luckily it was James.

"Milla," he said happily. "Who are you yelling at?"

"Ian," I said casually.

James grinned. "You're so nice to your siblings."

"Oh, because you're such a good brother to Albus and Lily. You don't hit them, _ever_," I said sarcastically.

He laughed and then a yawn overcame him. "You want to come up with me?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "It's been a while."

James guided me up the stairs with a hand on the small of my back.

"James, I need a shirt," I called from the bathroom door. He tossed me one and I changed for bed.

I sauntered out of the bathroom and jumped on his bed. James was peeling off his shirt, already in a pair of pajama pants.

Mother of God. He was gorgeous and completely _fit. _I had to catch my breath and school my breathing so I wasn't too obvious around him. It would be so embarrassing if he caught his mate staring at his broad shoulders or tanned skin or muscled chest.

Oh _God. _

Of course, Mr. Oblivious had no idea. And it had to stay that way.

He pulled the duvet over us and I snuggled into his chest, reveling in the feel of him.

"We haven't done this in a while," commented James lazily, his deep voice rumbling through his chest.

"Mmm," I said contentedly. "We haven't."

"That stunt you pulled at Quidditch yesterday was bloody brilliant," said James.

I smiled into his shoulder. "Thanks."

"And I wanted to thank you for being such a bitch to Lucia Thomas," James said, laughing.

I yawned and tried to smile but failed, another yawn overtaking me. "Of course. I would do that to anyone who mistreated you."

James squeezed me. "I love you," he murmured into my ear, causing me to shiver even though I tried to suppress it, and failed miserably.

"Me too," I said sleepily.

"You're the best mate a bloke could ask for," he added, almost as an afterthought.

I felt a wave of sadness crash over me, but I ignored it, instead burrowing my head further into his shoulder.

Maybe I wanted more, but we were mates. At least I had that.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Milla, get your arse over here!" James hollered across the common room as soon as I appeared at the bottom of the stairs leading up to my dorm.

I hurried over to him and he enveloped me in a huge hug. "Happy birthday, love," he said into my hair. I squeezed him tightly and looked up at him fondly.

"CAMILLA HOBBES! HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY, DARLING!" came a voice from the stairs. I tore myself out of James's grasp and turned to see Charlotte beaming at me, a huge grin on her face.

Behind her was Miranda, who was smiling calmly at me. She said cheerfully, "Happy birthday, Milla. Cannot believe you're seventeen!"

"Unfortunately, I can't take my Apparition test till the holidays," I said, wrinkling my nose.

"Too bloody bad," agreed Miranda.

"Oi! Weirdo!" came a loud voice. I turned to see Ian bounding over with a note in his hand. "Happy birthday," he said, giving me a hug. "That's your gift. Oh, and Mum and Dad sent a letter."

"Thanks, squirt," I said, messing up his hair. He scowled at me. "You want to come to Hogsmeade with us tonight?"

He smiled at me but shook his head. "No can do. I have to do a Transfig essay, unfortunately."

"Kay. Well, if you change your mind, we're going," I said.

He smiled. "Thanks, Milla. But I've gotta go – meeting Albus and Scorp. Talk to you later."

"Bye, Ian!" I shouted after him.

I plopped down on a couch and opened the letter my parents sent. I prepared myself for oversappiness and gooiness.

_Dearest Milla,_

_We can't believe you're already seventeen. We remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. We're so proud of the young woman you've become – intelligent, beautiful, a lovely sister (sometimes), wonderful friend, and terrific daughter._

_We cannot wait to see you – it's been two months. We miss our children. But we hope you have a lovely time in Hogsmeade – yes, we know you will be sneaking out tonight (James's idea, no doubt?). We've bought you a gift that should be arriving soon and we hope you like it – something special to commemorate your birthday. _

_We will have a proper celebration when you come home._

_We love you, darling, and hope you have a fantastic day._

_Love,_

_Mum and Dad_

_P.S. Make sure you keep an eye on Ian!_

Humph. Typical. I couldn't receive a letter without a postscript telling me to look after Ian. But I smiled a little at their sappiness. Gotta love your parents (sometimes). \

Hmm. I wonder what they bought me? Better be damn good. After all, I was seventeen now.

Merlin. An adult!

Soon I would be out of Hogwarts, graduated. I would be getting a job – well, for a Quidditch team, hopefully. And one day, I wanted to get married. Eventually, I wanted to be a mum.

And of course, at the same time as Charlotte (and Miranda – well, she didn't know that yet). We'd planned this all.

An image suddenly constructed itself in my mind. James arriving home from the pitch and kissing me hello while our children had dinner in our home. It was a really domestic scene. Oh my God.

_Our children. _OUR CHILDREN?

Fuck. I really needed to stop fantasizing about this type of stuff. Or I was going to get hurt.

I snapped out of my reverie and smiled at the group. James was giving me an odd stare, as if to say, _that's it – she's finally gone nutty. _

Lovely.

I was officially a loon. James would end up with some lovely, gorgeous girl and I'd … I'd find someone. This was just a passing fancy, _right_?

It'd better damn well be.

I spent the rest of my day playing three-a-side Quidditch with Luke, Ben, James, Char, and Miranda. It was quite funny to watch Miranda play – she wasn't on the team and was hapless at Quidditch. But on my birthday, it was MY rules, so she'd play. It was hysterical watching her grapple for the ball and wobble on her broomstick. She was really horrendous, but that made the game all the more fun.

Charlotte checked her watch as she balanced on her _Thunder 4000. _

"Oh my God!" she shrieked, startling me. "It's six-thirty. We need to get ready for tonight. Come along, Miranda, Milla. You lot," she added to the boys, "be ready in an hour. We're going to Hogsmeade."

She zoomed down to the ground and picked up her jumper from the ground. She blew Ben a kiss over her shoulder, and he smiled as he ran a hand through his golden hair.

I threw James a look but complied. I ran after Charlotte. "Hold up there!" I yelled after her so she would slow down to let me catch up.

"Sorry," she said.

Once we were back in our dorm, Char reached into her trunk and pulled out a small wrapped box and tossed it to me.

"Here, Milla, this came from your mum but you were downstairs so I took it for you," Char said.

"Oi, you're a tosser! You should've brought it down to me. You KNOW I love opening gifts _immediately_!" I said, tearing off the wrapping paper and opening the box to find a lovely strand of diamonds from my parents.

"AHH! LOOK AT THIS!" I shouted, waving the necklace in the air.

Char rushed over and squealed in delight. Miranda smiled tolerantly but her eyes were sparkling (she was a softie at heart for this stuff).

"It's gorgeous!" exclaimed Charlotte, fingering each diamond.

Diamonds really _were _a girl's best friend.

We fawned over it for another moment, but Miranda finally interrupted us. "If you don't get ready, you won't be able to look nice for your birthday."

True. But at the moment, if I had my way, I'd be content sitting here all night staring at my gift. For once, I loved my parents and all their incessant flirting and embarrassing me was forgivable.

"Okay, Milla. You need to look gorgeous for James. You need to make his jaw drop. _Then _maybe he'll stop seeing you as his friend only." Char clasped her hands together. "Oh! It's so romantic! The best friends, falling for each other!"

I rolled my eyes, but secretly agreed with her. But I feared for my life if I openly agreed with Charlotte – Miranda would have my head on a platter.

I pulled on a gray dress that showed off my collarbone (and my new necklace!) and some flats.

"Heels!" barked Charlotte, eyeing my flats with distaste.

"No!" I said. "It's my birthday, and I can't bloody walk in heels. Especially around Hogsmeade."

"Fine," she conceded with a grimace.

"Just shut up, Charlotte," commented Miranda dryly, applying some makeup. Char glared at her.

After grabbing my bag and my jacket, I dragged my two friends down the stairs where the boys were sitting, looking vaguely bored. They'd cleaned up nicely. Ben was in a collared shirt, his hair tousled rather sexily (lucky Charlotte). Luke was wearing a pullover (Char had sent him a note threatening death if he didn't change). And James … _Christ. _I wanted to kiss him right then and there. He looked so.. dishy. He was wearing jeans and a collared shirt, his hair in its usual disarray (still windswept from Quidditch). His dark eyes landed on me and widened slightly as he took me in. His gaze lingered a little too long on my legs (HAH! Score.) but he smiled at me in a completely friend-like, platonic manner, not flirting with me at all. Damn.

Well, what could I expect? Nothing I did would change how he saw me. I would need to accept that (eventually, but not tonight. Tonight was my birthday and I was allowed to dream).

"Milla," James said, his eyes smoldering, "You look lovely."

I blushed a little and smiled.

"Shall we?" said Ben, his arm around Charlotte. She was gazing up at him adoringly.

"Let's," I said, tucking my arm into James's.

I took a deep sip of my margarita and felt a warmth spread in me. _This _was so much fun. Being out with the people closest to me, eating, drinking, laughing.

"I can't believe it was ten years ago today that you threw up all over me from the allergic reaction to your birthday cake," James said, eyes dancing. His face was lightly freckled (courtesy of one Ginny _Weasley _Potter), and he shuddered. "I will NEVER get over that."

I threw a roll at him. "Thanks for bringing that up _every year_, you tosser!" I said, trying and failing to contain my laugher.

"It's tradition," he explained.

"It's _also _tradition," added Ben with a big smile, "to sing happy birthday."

As he spoke, a waiter brought a cake with seventeen candles on it and set it down in front of me. I felt a huge grin spread across my face as they sang to me (and soon the entire restaurant joined in – how mortifying). I took a big breath and blew out the candles.

The waiter took the cake away to be sliced and Charlotte said excitedly, "Present time, darling!"

I felt my smile grow wider. I LOVED presents. The best part of any birthday, yes?

"Here," she said, handing me a wrapped gift and hugging me. "This is from me _and _Luke, since if I left the choice up to him, he'd give you a wrapped pair of socks with some dog shit smeared on it."

I laughed and opened the gift, to find a pretty pair of amethyst earrings and a box of chocolates. "Aw. Thanks, Char and Luke, this is lovely," I gushed.

"My turn," announced Miranda, holding up one finger to signal for us to wait. She gave me a gift bag with tufts of colored tissue paper sticking out. I peeked in and spotted a thick embossed envelope.

_Weatherby Spa_

_Exclusive Luxuries in the heart of London_

"MIRANDA!" I shouted, hugging her. "This is amazing! We can go New Year's Day!"

She smiled at exuberance and said, "I knew you'd love it. If you look, you'll see I got all-day passes for the three of us." She indicated Char who was beaming at us.

"Don't know how I'm going to top that," announced Ben with a wry grin. I smacked him lightly on the arm as I accepted his gift. I tore open the wrapping paper and saw a new complete set of Quidditch gear.

"Ben!" I breathed. "You shouldn't have! This is fantastic."

Ben wrapped an arm around me and smiled. "But I did, once you see James's gift."

I swiveled to stare at James with a raised brow. "What the hell did you get me, James?" I asked.

He was holding something behind his back, and I couldn't see even though I kept darting my gaze around trying to see around him. Damn him and his height! He raised a brow knowingly at me.

"Stop messing with me!" I exclaimed in frustration, smacking his arm. His face creased into a smile and he ran a hand through his tousled hair.

I hit him again. "Fine! Fine! No need to be abusive," he said laughing. He pulled a long, thin package from behind his arm and handed it to me.

No! It couldn't … could it?

I gave him an incredulous look and he was gazing at me expectantly. I looked back at the gift and hurriedly undid the wrapping job. I saw the words _Thunder 8000 _etched on the side of the finely shaped wood and I ran my fingers over the engraving beneath it.

_Happy Birthday Milla! I love you. ~James_

My breath hitched in my throat and I pushed my blonde hair out of my eyes. I looked up at James with shining eyes. He was staring at me with a strangely intense expression, and I felt my breath leave me. Everyone else around us in the busy restaurant faded into obsolescence. Nothing and no one else mattered.

I dropped the broom on my chair and walked over to James. I threaded my arms around him and squeezed tightly, looking up at him adoringly. He was gazing at me with … a tenderness in his eyes.

I don't know what made me do it. Maybe it was my headiness from too much drink. Or maybe it was the way he was looking at me, as if no one else mattered. Maybe it was the outline of his strong jaw from my view or the feel of his strong arms around me as I embraced him.

But I reached my face up to his and pecked him on the lips. I felt perfection in that one moment, but immediately registered that I had just kissed _my best mate _on the lips.

My best mate who didn't know that I fancied him.

I pulled away quickly, flushing, and avoiding his gaze. I hugged him to cover my confusion and then pulled away, out of his embrace. I felt oddly bereft.

I chanced a look at Charlotte who was looking at me with shining eyes, a smile gracing her lips. Ben looked flabbergasted and Luke was grinning hugely. Miranda had a hand covering her mouth, her eyes wide. I hesitantly wrenched my gaze back to James, whose face was unreadable. He was staring at me in bemusement, his dark brown eyes fixed on mine. He ran a hand through his dark hair and his pose was tense.

Shit. I hope I hadn't royally fucked up.

Miranda – Merlin bless her – came to the rescue. She clapped her hands and said loudly, "Okay, you lot, let's eat cake! It's finally here."

James snapped to and shook his head like a wet dog. I sat down and ate my cake, oddly quiet. Charlotte kept staring at me expectantly and I kept signaling her looks to get her to calm the fuck down. Gah! The last thing I needed now was pressure to tell James how I felt.

James still looked rather shocked, and he was rightly so. He kept darting furtive glances at me when he thought I wasn't looking, but I felt like his eyes were burning holes in me. I was hypersensitive and hyperaware when it came to him. I knew him better than he knew himself, and I knew he was really confused and out of his element right now.

Hell, I was too. I mean, it was still relatively new to me that I fancied my best mate.

"So," Charlotte said brightly. "James, that was a lovely gift you gave Milla." She nudged me and I sent her a death glare."

"Shut up," I hissed. "Just shut up."

She looked at me affronted. "No," she whispered back. "You need to talk to him."

I elbowed her and unfortunately I noticed James looking at us weirdly. Fuck.

"Shall we head back?" asked Ben, salvaging the situation. Did I tell you how much I loved him?

"Yes," I said gratefully. "It's getting rather late."

The trip back to the castle was fairly normal, except James was still sending me these furtive looks. I gripped my broom tightly and the other gifts in my other arm.

"Bollocks," I muttered as I dropped a bag.

"Here, let me," said James with a small smile. He scooped up my stuff easily and put it under one arm, slinging the other around my back and pulling me to him.

"How do you that?" I demanded indignantly. "You can carry all that so easily and I struggle with it with _both _arms."

He laughed, glancing down at me fondly. "You're a girl."

"That I am," I smiled.

We arrived at the Gryffindor common room.

"Okay," I yawned. "Time for bed. Shall I come up with you, James?"

His face had an unreadable expression. "Er, no. I think I'll sleep alone tonight."

I gave him a questioning look. He just shrugged and gave me a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow. Happy birthday, love," he said with a smile before climbing the stairs to his dorm. Ben and Luke followed him with waves to me and 'good nights'.

I looked at Char and Miranda in shock. "What…?" I asked.

"He noticed," said Charlotte smugly. "He's finally noticed you're a girl."

"And you got that conclusion how?" Miranda demanded.

"He wouldn't have cared if she slept with him normally. But it's finally struck him that she's a girl. And not his sister," Char said with a huge smile.

I felt my anger dissipate.

Now, this. This was an _excellent _birthday.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Three days later, I had finished a particularly long and tiring Quidditch practice – but _damn_, was it destressing – and I showered in the changing rooms. I had slipped on some jeans and was drying my hair with my wand when James came barreling in with a huge grin on his face. His eyes darted around, finally spotting me in the corner, and his ebullient expression froze on his face as he took me in.

What was…?

Oh. Bloody fuck. I wasn't wearing a shirt! James could see my breasts! Fuck. FUCK.

As this thought registered in my mind, I flushed and covered my chest with my arms. James had a dazed expression and his eyes were fixed on my boobs. Lovely.

"James," I muttered. "What the bloody fuck are you doing in here? I thought I said I'd meet you outside!"

He rubbed his neck nervously. "I'm, er, sorry, but I got a letter from a Puddlemere scout and I wanted to tell you first!"

My expression softened. "Oh," I said, a grin spreading on my face. "Congratulations, James."

He smiled but flushed when he noticed I still wasn't wearing a shirt and I still had my arms across my chest. A strange expression crossed his face. Oh, shit. I should probably fix that.

"James, I love you, but if you don't get out of here _now_, people are going to talk."

He gave a nervous laugh and backed out of the room hurriedly, covering his face with his hand. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm going."

"And he just _rushed _out?" asked Char with a rapt expression, bouncing on her bed.

"Yes, I already said that! He just rushed out like he was going to be killed or something," I said in annoyance.

"He definitely fancies you!" she declared, a huge smile on her face.

"I doubt it," I said morosely, picking at a loose thread on the bedspread. "He acted as though he were burned."

"Hang on a moment," said Miranda. "It might not be that. I mean, come on, you're his best mate. Have been for his entire life. He just saw you _topless_, for Merlin's sake, and he's probably flipping a shit right now."

A flicker of hope passed through me.

"You think?" I asked hopefully.

"Probably. I think he's really confused right now, between the so-called kiss on your birthday and .. today. It's a lot to go through and he's having a shit fit," Miranda said sagely, nodding.

A frisson of excitement passed through me and I smiled. "I bloody well hope so. I don't know how much more I can take."

"I for one think he fancies you already!" said Charlotte crossing her arms.

"I don't think so," I said. "He still sees me as his best mate, unless the sight of me has now repulsed him and we'll be enemies from now on."

Char threw her arms around me. "Don't say that. I'm sure he wanted to shag you right then and there."

"Aw, you're sweet, but don't get carried away, please. I'm going through enough as it is. Maybe I should just up and go to Brazil and clean horse dung at a zoo. Maybe this whole love business is ridiculous and hopeless at best." I shrugged, a grim expression on my face.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "Please, you don't need to be so melodramatic!"

I threw a pillow at her. Goodness, what friends I had!

Char began to braid her hair. "Listen here, you're perfectly lovely and gorgeous and if James can't see that then he doesn't deserve you and YOU can have my checklist since apparently that's gone to hell when I decided to fancy Ben out of the blue. At least _someone _should benefit from that list that took years to make."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks a bunch. A useless list makes me feel so good."

"Shut up, bint."

Bullocks.

I hadn't spoken to James since The Incident (as Miranda liked to call it) and I was feeling rather insulted by his avoidance of me. I mean, I wasn't that repulsive to him, was I?

Of course I was a bit embarrassed by the whole sordid ordeal. James had never _seen _me without a bra at least and it was my best mate who saw me topless. Although, better my best mate than say some random Slytherin. But still, I was slightly mortified, but I was more humiliated by the fact James hadn't spoken to me since the event.

During History of Magic, he had Charlotte sit next to me instead of himself, which was what happened normally. Really insulted by his refusal to speak to me, I purposefully "dropped" my quill next to his chair and hissed at him, "James, could you get that for me?"

His face had apprehension written all over it. Bugger. His jaw was tense and his lips were a grim line as he bent over to pick up my quill, quickly depositing it in my hands before whipping around to face the professor and … to take notes? I watched in fascination as he scribbled down notes on the Goblin Rebellion of 1092.

WHAT THE FUCK. James never took notes. _Ever. _Especially in Binns' class!

He steadfastly refused to look at me for the rest of the class, and as soon as it was over, he gathered his stuff and made for the exit. I grabbed my bag and hastily strode after him to catch up. Damn him and his long legs!

"James!" I shouted, grabbing his arm.

He turned around, his Oxford shirt unbuttoned at the top and untucked as usual. He looked so bloody adorable even though I was in a weird place with him. Ugh.

Agitation flashed across his face. He ran a hand through his tousled hair and avoided my eyes. "Not now, Milla. I, er, have to go," he said, and before I could respond, he left and I was left completely in shock.

What the hell?

The next day he continued to behave curtly and give me the cold shoulder. At lunch, he sat on the opposite side of Luke instead of next to me (as was the norm) and refused to look at me except when he thought I wasn't looking when he would shoot me furtive glances.

Argh. This was really fucking frustrating.

"James," I said loudly, looking at him pointedly. "Pass me the potatoes, would you?"

He passed the bowl to me and when my hand touched his as I reached for the bowl an electrical current passed between us and I could feel the tingle up my arm. James's eyes locked with mine until he broke the stare and looked down. I felt my face blush and I silently ate, Ben watching us curiously.

"Could we talk later, James?" I asked hesitantly, knotting my hands.

His brow furrowed. Shit. I knew what that meant – he would automatically try to avoid me at every turn. Now came the lame excuse: "Oh, er, sorry, I can't. I have to … plan a Quidditch strategy for the Hufflepuff game."

I rolled my eyes. He flushed a little. He knew I knew he was bullshitting me.

"Whatever, James," I said, a flash of anger passing through me. I stood up to leave, pushing away my plate. "I'm going to … go."

I turned and strode out of the Great Hall without a backward glance.

Later that evening I sat in the common room fuming. How dare he ignore me? How dare he avoid discussing this when _he _was the one in the wrong – _he _saw me topless!

I sat staring unseeingly at my half-written Potions paper on bezoars. I picked up my quill and wrote so hard that I stabbed the paper. Great. I angrily retrieved my wand and fixed the hole in my parchment. God, I hated fighting with James. It always made me extremely upset because he was first and foremost my best friend – and fighting with him deeply shook me. I sought solace in the sarcasm of my favorite authors. Cynicism was the best cute for a case of rage, I'd learned over the years.

I didn't even know if I was fighting with James. I didn't understand what was going on. I felt like we were between a rock and a hard place – some terra incognita. It was strange. And it was starting to worry me.

Miranda plopped down next to me, all sweaty after her evening jog (which she even did during the winter – bloody hardcore runner).

"How was your jog?" I asked.

She smiled. "Great. Don't know what I'd do without those things."

I laughed bitterly. "That's like Quidditch for me."

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

"James." It only took one word for her to understand. She nodded in comprehension.

"Listen, Milla. If he can't bloody behave like a seventeen year-old than he can fuck himself, to be honest. It's his own bleeding fault he's behaving like a moron. You're amazing and he'd be lucky to have you. I love James, but if he can't see that then he doesn't deserve you."

I nodded, biting my lip. "Thanks."

She smiled and put her hands on her knees to push herself up. "Okay, listen. I'm going to go shower. I'll be down in a bit, yeah?"

I nodded with a small smile and she left, bounding up the stairs.

I sighed and turned back to my half-finished essay. Some time later, I heard the portrait hole swing open and familiar voices laughing and talking. My head whipped round – James was with Luke and he had a huge grin on his face. He caught my stare and the smile froze on his face, a panic entering his eyes. Suddenly a determination to have this out came over me. I stood up, abandoning my egregious essay and marched over him, a fiery expression on my face and hands on my hips.

"James," I said, yanking his arm and dragging him with me outside the portrait and out of the common room to a corner of a darkened corridor, "We need to have a chat, hmm? Sorry, Luke, we'll only be a moment." 

Luke raised his brow but shrugged, nodding. I turned my irate gaze back to James, who was looking at me with a mixture of expectancy and apprehension. I took a deep sigh and pushed my hair out of my eyes.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" I asked bluntly, just cutting to the chase. I was tired of this circumvention and bullshit.

James's mouth was set in a thin line, his jaw tense. He squared his shoulders, as though ready to defend himself. "I don't know. It's been awkward since… well, you know."

He shrugged.

"Then why couldn't you come to me and talk about it?" I demanded angrily.

James didn't look at me. He ran a hand through his hair, and rubbed his neck, which had a spattering of freckles on it. "Because you're my best friend and I fucking freaked out!"

That was no excuse. "That's no excuse! If anything, the fact that I'm your best mate should make you come find me so we can discuss – as almost adults – what happened! You don't need to hide from me! We've been mates since we were born, for fuck's sake! Don't I deserve more respect than that?" I asked, my voice breaking at the end.

James face contorted with concern and fondness. He finally looked me in the eye. "Of course," he said softly. "Milla, you're my best friend. That's why I freaked out, when I found out I –" he stopped abruptly, his eyes widening.

"Because what? Because after all these years, this – our friendship - means nothing to you and one little thing makes you ignore me for _two days_ and not talk to me?" I said, my voice rising.

James looked pained. "You know that's not true! You know you're my bloody best mate and I don't know what the fuck has been going on lately."

"Well you didn't act like it earlier!" I said, my voice bordering on shrill. "Even though you walked on me and shouldn't have, you didn't have to avoid me like I have dragon pox! Am I that repugnant to you?"

"Repugnant," James spluttered, looking incredulous. "That's rich!"

I felt my face contort with hurt. "You don't need to rub it in," I snapped.

"Do you have any bloody clue what you've been doing to me?" James demanded.

"What would that be?" I said angrily. I knew I wasn't at my most brilliant at the moment in terms of arguing skills, but I was too irate and hurt to try to formulate logical arguments.

"Ever since that … _that _day, I can't think. I can't sleep. I can't focus on anything. I can't even bloody do Quidditch strategies, which you _know _I live for. You've been cropping up _everywhere _– in my dreams, in my bloody thoughts, during lessons. It's been hell, Milla!"

"But you –" I sputtered indignantly. "Wait. _What_?"

"Never mind. Forget that," said James in horror, backing away.

"Oh no," I said dangerously. "You're not getting off that easily."

"Fine," said James feelingly. He took a step forward, his hands cupping my face, and one finger stroking my cheekbone. I felt tears spring into my eyes. His dark eyes bore into mine and I felt the breath leave my body. "If you must know, I find you the _opposite _of repugnant."

And then in a moment's time I had my arms around his neck his hands settled at my waist, pulling me to him. His lips roughly captured mine and I felt myself lean into him in complete rapture. Our lips moved in perfect tandem and I couldn't breath, but I didn't care. The feel of James against me was indescribable – it was perfection. I felt his tongue slide across my lips and I groaned, opening my mouth. His tongue explored my mouth, the kiss an open-mouthed expression of pure passion. His hands gripped my waist, and my hands slid into his hair, gripping it tightly to pull his head closer to mine as we kissed.

He groaned deeply and backed me against a wall, gripping my hips and pulling me to him. I instinctively wrapped my legs tightly around his waist, savoring the contact. I felt his chest against me, muscles rippling as he held me up against the wall, not once breaking the kiss. I ran my hands through his hair as he moved his mouth from mine, trailing kisses along my jaw, and planting hot, open-mouthed kisses on my neck. Oh _God. _I never knew anything could feel so good. As he nipped gently at a hollow on my collarbone, I shivered in delight and pulled him closer, threading my fingers in his hair.

"You have no idea," he murmured, kissing my neck and trailing up to my ear, "How long I've wanted to do this."

I moaned in response. He bit my ear gently, causing me to arch my neck to leave more room for him. I experimentally kissed a spot just under his jaw and he shuddered. I nipped him and kissed him down his neck, finally moving back up to his ear, kissing it gently. "I'm sure I have wanted to for longer," I whispered into his ear, and he shivered.

His mouth met mine again and my tongue delved into his mouth, sending frissons of excitement through me. I thought I would die.

"James? _Camilla_?" came a startled voice. We broke apart abruptly and I looked to see Char gaping at us. Well, rightly so. This was a rather odd situation.

James quickly removed his hands from my waist and disentangled my legs from around him. He stood looking down, avoiding my gaze, his face flushed and his breathing erratic and hard. My chest was heaving and I'm sure I was a mess too. Char was staring at us wordlessly and I said shrilly, "Fancy seeing you here, Charlotte!"

"Shall we talk?" she finally managed to say and I nodded silently. I didn't look at James as we walked away.

Fuck. What now?


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

_Milla dearest,_

_I'm so glad you liked our gift. And I'm happy Ian hasn't managed to blow up Hogwarts or kill himself yet. It's a wonder he's still alive after all these years. Dad says he hopes you had a lovely birthday and that Ian was nice to you (or else)._

_Ginny and Harry say hello, sweetheart. They're here with us now, having dinner with us. When you get home, we'll have a family dinner with them. We miss you! Holidays are soon, though, and that will be lovely._

_We're attending the Potters' Christmas Eve fete as usual, dearest. Oh, and the Wood family will be joining us for Christmas day (as will the Potters). Just to let you know, Milla, in advance. I do so hate when you're out of the loop._

_Anyway, I hope term is going well and I'll see you soon. Dad says he loves you. _

_And Ginny wants me to tell you to tell James to writer her because apparently he hasn't the past two weeks._

_I'll end this monstrosity of a letter now._

_I love you,_

_Mum_

_P.S. Look after Ian!_

I grinned ironically. Like hell I'd be speaking to James about his mother. James and I were trying to act normally, but things were stilted. We didn't discuss our heated snogging or anything – even the argument before it. We just kind of tiptoed around it like it didn't happen. I think we didn't know how to handle such a development in our relationship.

At breakfast a few days later I asked James to pass the bread rolls and he said with a smile, "Yeah sure. Hey do you think you could help me with those Quidditch –"

As he handed me the basket, his fingers overlapped mine a little when I grasped for the basket and he snatched his hand away, as though burned. Flushing a little, he continued, "Help me with those Quidditch plays?"

I looked a little dazed. "Um, er, yeah, sure. Later?"

I caught Char sending Ben a smug look and I looked at her confusedly. She smiled broadly and took a large bite of chicken. Psh. Bloody Charlotte. Thinks she knows everything.

In the common room later that day I sat doing some Transfiguration homework, waiting for James to appear.

"Hey, Milla," he said cheerfully, sitting next to me. But not too close to me. I noticed grimly that he was careful to keep a good amount of space between us, which was totally unusual for us. I mean, usually as soon as he plopped down next to me I'd lay on him or he'd put his head in my lap. This stilted awkwardness and concept of personal space and boundaries were completely alien to me – it had never been a part of my relationship with James.

As long as I can remember, he and I always were the sort to hug or be completely and utterly comfortable with one another. This past week had been a whole new world for me. It was like we were trying to revert to normalcy, to what we'd been before, and there was such a tenuous, delicate thread connecting us to our past selves that we were behaving like strangers, terrified we would shatter whatever this precarious entente was.

It was getting bleeding annoying, that's what.

"So, you ready?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Yep," he responded pulling out a stack of papers. "So I was thinking of this particular formation for our match with Slytherin – I invented it myself, so I think we should call it The James."

I burst out laughing.

He looked at me with a serious expression.

I finally sobered up enough to stare at him incredulously. "You can't be serious."

"It IS my middle name," he said cheekily.

"Shut up, you dolt."

"But seriously," he said with a wry grin, "We should name it The James. It has a certain…ring to it."

I put my hand on his shoulder with the intention of shoving him but the second I touched him I felt flustered and snatched my arm away. James coughed.

"Well, anyway," he said, concentrating on his paper. "What should we do after that?"

"Have Char do the Wronski Feint," I said, a little embarrassed by my mistake.

"Brilliant," he said happily, beaming at me, and automatically threw an arm around my shoulder. I immediately stiffened and James pulled away, looking a bit hurt.

I looked down, playing with the tassel on a throw pillow.

"I ,., I have to go see Miranda," I said, fishing for an excuse to leave. "I .,. promised I'd help her with Ancient Runes."

"Okay," he said uncertainly, gazing at me. "See you later."

"Bye."

Oh God, this had to stop. It was so damn awkward.

"Oi, Milla!"

I looked up, and Ian came bounding over.

"Have you grown, shrimp?" I asked teasingly.

He threw a pillow at me.

"Shut up, idiot. Soon and I'll be taller than you," he said indignantly.

"Yeah right. And Mum likes you better than me," I said disbelievingly.

He snorted. "Yeah, right."

I threw a pillow back at him.

"What's up?" I finally asked.

"I wanted to know what's going on with you and James."

I blanched. I had not been expecting _this_ question.

"Um," I picked at a loose seam. "I'm not sure."

Ian gave me a wary look. "You sure?"

I nodded slowly.

"I've seen you been acting weirdly around him the past few weeks. What happened?" he asked with an expression eerily similar to Mum's.

"Well… we, um, oh God this is so awkward – we snogged."

Ian's mouth was gaping, his blue eyes round. "You're joking."

"I wish," I said miserably.

"But … but _how_?"

"We were fighting and I… I don't know. It just happened."

Ian nodded. "Okay. And you're dating now?"

I looked down and sighed. "No, we're not. So you can't say anything to anyone."

"YOU'RE NOT?" he bellowed.

"Shut up, Ian. And no we're not. James doesn't fancy me."

He looked suspicious. "Hang on… you fancy him though?"

My look of despair answered his question. He looked at me seriously. "I'm sorry, Milla," he said quietly.

I gave a miserable half-smile. "Thanks."

"Do I need to talk to James?" he asked.

I smacked him. "You're two years younger than me, tosser. No way. And James doesn't know, so you can't tell him."

Understanding and pity flashed across his face.

"Well," he said finally. "If you need me to whoop his arse or talk to me, you know where I am."

I smiled and he waved as he trudged out of the room.

"Hey, Ben," I said casually as I met up with him for patrol.

He smiled. "What's up?"

"Just was doing some Charms work," I said.

"I was with Char. We were outside. It's a cold day though, but pretty out."

"So you two are going spiffingly well, yeah?" I said cheerily.

Ben grinned, running a hand through his blond hair. "Yeah, it's brilliant. She's fantastic."

"I know, isn't she?"

"She told me about what happened," he said with a glint in his eye.

"Oh yes – how I spilled my Amortentia during Potions? It was _such _a disaster that I –"

"No, Milla," he said gently, cutting me off. "About you and James."

I fell silent. "Oh," I said finally. "Well, now I have to kill her," I added, only half-joking.

"I don't know whether to congratulate you or smack him upside the head for being so daft."

I smiled ruefully. "No need to congratulate me. I snogged my best mate – which completely freaked him out, by the way – and he still doesn't know how I feel and we're tiptoeing around each other like nothing happened. He's afraid to get within a ten foot radius of me. And it's been almost three weeks."

Ben grimaced. "He really has no clue?"

"No," I said morosely. "And I can't tell him. Clearly he's already freaked out by what happened. God forbid I tell him more." 

Ben nodded. "I'm so lucky to have an easy time of it with Char. None of this weird crap like with you and James."

I laughed. "The only fighting you two do is about Quidditch!"

"I know. We only fight about petty stuff. It's actually kind of fun, but don't tell Char, or she'll castrate me." He looked sheepishly at me.

"Merlin I wish James and I were like you and Char – I mean, you obviously love each other like I love him –"

I slapped a hand over my mouth, eyes wide. Ben stared at me.

"Oh my God," I said faintly after a while. "I love him."

"Yeah," he said wondrously, with a small smile. "I guess you do."

"This is so bad," I groaned. "So so so bad."

""Why?" Ben asked puzzledly.

"Because James doesn't fancy me!" I all but shouted.

"But you kissed…" he shrugged.

"It was a meaningless, impulsive thing for him," I said, eyes downcast.

"But I have this feeling that he does!" said Ben.

"Last time you had a 'feeling' you barfed on me at the party," I said accusingly.

He laughed. "True."

"No," I continued. "In all seriousness. I have to get over this. James doesn't like me; he sees me as his mate. I need to get over this."

"But you're in love with him," he said reasonably.

"Too bad. I need to…just get over this. Whatever it is. Friendship will have to be enough." I sighed tiredly. "And maybe…eventually I won't feel this way about him anymore and someone else…hopefully will come along. It has to be enough."

Ben gave me a look. "Will it?"

I avoided his eye. "It has to be."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The holidays were approaching. Hagrid brought in the quintessential twelve trees and they were decorated with tinsel and lights and decorations. It was lovely, really. Mistletoe was charmed to hang at various places in the castle and some of the ghosts and Peeves the Poltergeist were singing carols.

Christmas was my favorite time of year.

I sat down at the Gryffindor table for supper and scooped some food on my plate, people chatting around me. Miranda sat down across from me and smiled, grabbing the potatoes.

"Hey, Milla," she said cheerfully. "Can't wait for Christmas. It's nineteen days!"

AH! YES!

I needn't act like a child, really. I was seventeen, for goodness' sake.

"I'm excited too," I said demurely, but my eyes were sparkling.

Suddenly Nate Walters came swiftly over to us, his eyes on Miranda. He sat down next to her and I looked questioningly at Miranda. She shrugged.

"Hey, Nate," I said. "What's up?"

"Not much. I love the hols. But I needed to ask Miranda something," he said, looking at her meaningfully.

"Yes?" she said with an inquisitive glance.

He took a deep breath. "I was wondering…. If you would do me the honor of being my girlfriend."

Miranda shrieked. "Oh my God!" she breathed, a huge smile on her face. "Yes! Yes!"

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly.

I felt my eyes become a little misty. Oh, God. Don't you just love cheesy moments like these?

I felt a bit like the mother when her daughter gets married.

"Congratulations, you lot," I said warmly.

They ignored me. As they should. They were, after all, busy snogging.

"They're dating!" I exclaimed and Luke looked aghast.

"Already?" he asked in surprise.

"What d'you mean, already?' I asked with a raised brow. "They've been flirting for ages." 

Luke looked thoughtful. "I suppose so, yes. But do you reckon they'll last?"

I nodded. "I think so. Say, Luke, do you fancy anyone?"

Luke gave me a sly smile. "Well, I snogged Livvy the other night, if that counts."

I smacked him on the arm. "You're a prat, you know that? I don't understand how you and Char are related."

Luke looked thoughtful. "Me neither, come to think of it."

I laughed. "I know. It's hard to believe you're twins, except you look similar. And you're both fanatical about Quidditch. Well, obviously, your dad is Oliver Wood."

Luke chortled. "I know. Thanks to Dad we're completely obessed."

"How are your parents, by the way?"

Luke shrugged. "Good, I reckon. Mum wrote me and told me that my cousin Grayer has started playing Quidditch!"

I laughed. "Runs in the family." 

"Yes. Speaking of which, we've got Quidditch now, don't we?"

"Shit!"

With that we took off jogging toward the pitch.

A few days later, I was sitting in the common room, reading _Witch Weekly _and drinking a cosmo ( an indulgence I rarely allowed myself during the week) when I heard Ben and Char's voices floating over from where they were sitting by the fire. Evidently they didn't know I was here or they'd be sitting with me.

"They clearly need some _help _to get together. He's just being dense," came Char's voice.

"I agree," said a deep voice (Ben, presumably). "We should prod them in the right direction."

I put down my magazine and listened intently.

"Maybe lock them in a closet?"

"No," was the amused reply.

"The Room of Requirement?"

"No! It can't be mean." 

"Well since you're such an expert on this topic why don't _you _come up with an idea, O Brilliant One?"

"Um… how about we charm some mistletoe to you know … bring about some fortuitous circumstances. At least for one of the parties involved, but I highly suspect both."

Hmm. I wonder whom they were discussing. Maybe Luke and Livvy? Or Lily and her best friend, Lleyton Hughes?

"Well," said Charlotte grudgingly. "I suppose that is rather good."

"I know."

"Oh shut up. You needn't be so arrogant, you tosser."

I laughed quietly and turned back to my Charms homework, fully intending to see and find out what they meant … or rather, whom they meant to help.

I veered the corner and slung the bag more highly on my shoulder. I entered the common room, which was bright and busy as usual with hoards of people chatting and doing work and some people (cough*Luke*cough) pulling pranks. But I was lost in my thoughts. Bloody James – he really was killing us with his Nazi practices. I smacked into a hard chest and looked up started, into a pair of familiar dark eyes.

Oh _shit. _James I hadn't been in this close proximity with him since … um …. That day.

James looked a bit panicky as he realized he was very close to me, but he quickly masked his confusion with a smile.

I didn't want to know what my face looked like. I probably looked like I was being attacked by rampaging Hippogriffs.

"Hey, Milla," he said as he tried to pull away, but it was like he was magnetically attached to me. He couldn't move away. I pulled away but was pushed right back into James. What the…?

James looked up and his face whitened. I glanced up and saw a sprig of mistletoe. Usually these filled me with good cheer and holiday spirit. Now I felt like vomiting.

Shit fuck.

James ran a hand through his hair and his broad shoulders stiffened. His dark eyes bore into mine.

"Well," he said tentatively. "Shall we get it over with?"

Over with?

So that's exactly how he really felt about me. I was something that had to be done quickly so that I could be disregarded and thrown aside for something better. I was nothing to him.

"Yes," I said tiredly.

He leaned down towards me, closing the small distance that was between us. His lips captured mine and although his facial expression was hesitant as he bent down toward me, he began kissing me feverishly and I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck, my bag dropping to the ground. He had has hands gripping my hips tightly and I was clinging to him like he would disappear. I forgot where I was. Who I was. Whom I was kissing.

In that moment I had a rare glimpse of perfection.

His lips gently nipped my bottom lip and his tongue delved into my mouth. I groaned and he gripped me more tightly. I had my fingers wound tightly in his hair. Oh God, I loved him.

And then reality came crashing down over me like a gargantuan wave. This was James. And me. And I was kissing him when I'd vowed to accept friendship as enough. This was James who didn't reciprocate my feelings. Who never would.

I wrenched my lips from his, an immeasurable sadness washing over me. I felt tears gather in my eyes and I avoided his eye. I couldn't be around him right now. I needed… I needed to leave. Now.

I gathered my bag, tears spilling from my eyes. I walked quickly toward the stairs leading up to my dorm.

"Milla!" I heard Char yelling after me.

I turned one last time to see James staring at me in bewilderment, his hair mussed and his lips swollen.

I quickly swiveled and hurried up the stairs. I heard Charlotte behind me.

I collapsed on my bed, tears streaming down my face. Char sat down next to me and rubbed my back soothingly. I played with a strand of hair mindlessly, mired in misery.

"I'm sorry," she said after a while.

I blew my nose. "Where's Miranda?"

"With Nate."

I gave a half-smile. "Lucky her."

Char smiled sadly. "It'll happen for you, Milla. If James can't see how wonderful you are, then he's not it. You'll find The One. Want my checklist?"

I gave a mirthless laugh. "God. I feel so stupid."

"It's my fault," Char said eventually, looking down.

"What?" I said, alert.

"Ben and I were being stupid. We just thought … we could prod you two along. Kind of catalyze your relationship. So we were bouncing around ideas …"

"Wait! It was me and James you were discussing?" I asked incredulously.

Char looked guilty. "You heard?"

"Yes! I thought you were discussing someone else. Merlin. I can't believe this."

"I'm sorry."

I sighed. "I know you didn't mean it. But why did you have to meddle? James and I were only slightly getting back to normal!"

"Because you two are the _perfect _couple! He's … he's your soulmate!" she exclaimed.

I felt tears prick my eyes. "He's … he's not. He's my best mate. And that's it," I said firmly, trying to get myself to calm the hopeful churning in my stomach and my omnipresent despair at my situation.

"I'm sorry," she repeated quietly. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No. It's not your fault. Of course I love him. I always have and I always will. But it can't be … in the way I love him now. He's my best mate and that's how he sees me. I need to accept that."

Char nodded and rubbed my back.

I finally fell asleep in peace for the first time in a long time. I had a plan to finally get over _him. _

_Dearest Milla,_

_We can't wait to see you tomorrow! Pack your trunk. Make sure Ian does as well. We're so happy it's the holidays! I do so love this time of year. _

_Don't forget, dearest, we have the Potters' annual party and we can't wait to see you. Have a safe trip home._

_Love,_

_Mum _

I smiled slightly as I packed my trunk to go home. I couldn't wait. I needed a break.

The next day, I sat in a compartment with Char, Miranda, Ben, and Luke. And James.

Whom I currently wasn't speaking to. I was still shaken up over the whole ordeal, and couldn't bring myself to speak to him, or even look him in the eye. He kept trying to catch my gaze or chat with me, but I couldn't look him in the eye. Frankly, it was difficult enough to even be in the same compartment as him.

I needed space from him. I needed to get over him. I couldn't do that when I was in such close proximity to him. When I was around him, I was hyperaware of it. I could tell what he was thinking by his facial expressions. I could predict his reactions to something Luke said. I could sense his discomfort around me.

Even though I tried to ignore him, I _missed _him. Every time I turned around to exchange a quip with him, I felt morose as I remembered I wasn't supposed to be talking to him.

It was bloody difficult.

When Ben made a joke about Professor Binns, a great big grin spread across James's face (which I was staring at even though I was supposed to be avoiding his eye). An answering smile spread across mine, and I suppressed it quickly, hoping no one noticed.

But I caught Miranda looking at me with a knowing eye, a sad expression on her face.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Milla!" I heard my dad's voice loudly calling for me. I whirled round and saw him smiling at me, with my mum beaming next to him.

"Mum! Dad!" I cried happily, walking swiftly towards them.

I hugged both of them tightly, beaming. Ian was ambling over, dragging his trunk with a relieved expression on his face. "Finally, break!" he exclaimed. "Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad."

"Ian, my darling!" Mum flung her arms around Ian, squeezing the breath out of Ian, who rolled his eyes.

I laughed.

"Okay, you lot, let's go," said Dad with a grin.

I nodded and levitated my trunk (I _LOVED _doing magic outside of school), waving to the Wood family and as we strolled toward the car, I caught sight of a familiar dark head. I immediately scowled, feeling moroseness spread inside me. Great. Just what I bloody need.

"Ginny!" Mum called as she spotted a redhead speaking with her daughter. Ginny looked up and smiled.

"Sarah," she said, smiling widely. "I didn't think I'd see you here. I thought just Ed was coming to get the kids."

Dad shrugged. "I decided to drag her along. After all, she was just cleaning the bloody house for the kids when we all know they'll just wreck it."

"Thanks," I said sardonically.

James smirked and we exchanged a meaningful glance before I looked at the ground.

Wonderful.

Harry ran a hand through his hair (like father like son, eh?). "So, Ian, you coming round later to see our dog, Snuffles?"

Ian grinned. "Damn straight."

"LANGUAGE!" exploded Mum irately. "I will not have my children speaking in such a manner, Ian Grayson Hobbes."

Dad was laughing. "Ed! Stop it! It's not funny. Tell your son not to speak profanely!"

Dad kept laughing. "_Edward_!"

Uh oh. Dad paled. He knew when Mum used his full name he was in deep shit.

"Sorry, darling," he said meekly.

She softened a bit but said sternly, "No cursing, Ian."

"Okay, Mum," Ian said tiredly.

"Anyway," interjected Ginny smoothly in an eerily James-like fashion. "We'll see you soon for our party."

Joy. More time with James and reminding me of what I can't have.

Mum visibly brightened. "Definitely, Ginny. I'll pop round later on to help you with your decorations."

"Excellent. See you then!"

With that, we piled into the car, discussing our term and upcoming holiday plans.

I didn't say goodbye to James for the first time in my life.

"So, darling," said Mum cheerily. "When are Charlotte and Miranda coming over to help decorate the tree?"

I smiled. "At four. We plan to have hot chocolate and biscuits after. How does it look at the Potters'?"

Mum clapped her hands together, her blue eyes dancing. "Oh, Milla, it's gorgeous. Can't wait to see it all done up tomorrow with everyone there!"

"Discussing the Potters again, are you?" said Dad with a grin as he got a cup of coffee.

"Yes, Ed. And if you cared about me at all you'd be excited too," said Mum indignantly, but her eyes were sparkling.

Dad looked affectionately at her. "Well, since I don't care about you, maybe I should cancel our trip to Italy for our alone time."

"EW! DAD! THAT'S DISGUSTING!" I cried, clapping my hands over my ears. I hurriedly left, not looking at them.

Eurgh. Parents weren't supposed to do … those sorts of things. The way I got here … well, let's just say I believe the whole thing about the stork.

"Hello, girls," Mum said warmly. "How was term?"

Char smiled. "Very good. We were quite busy though with NEWTs and all."

"I heard from Becca and Oliver that that wasn't the only thing you were busy with." Mum winked.

Char reddened. "Um… yes. Ben and I are … an item,"

Mum clapped her hands together. "That's brilliant, dearie, and Ed and I got together very similarly. You see, he and I had gotten pissed at a Quidditch victory party – as you well know – and well, some things happened." 

"MUM!" I shouted in embarrassment. Miranda was laughing.

"Well, anyway," Mum said briskly, shooting me a look. "That's how we ended up like this."

"That's lovely," Char said, enraptured with the romance of it all. "You and Ed have been married for how many years now?"

"Twenty-one," said Mum with a girlish smile.

"Wow," said Miranda, impressed. "That's a long time."

"It is. And you'll know that when you marry. I wonder if you'll end up with that Nate chap." 

"Oh, for God's sake," I said. "How do you know _everything_?"

Mum laughed. "Harry told your dad and he found out from Hannah Longbottom." 

"I'm going to KILL my mum," said Miranda.

Mum grinned. "You know we'd find out sooner or later, darling."

Miranda smiled reluctantly. "I suppose. Anyway, shall we decorate this tree?"

Mum stood up, laundry basket in hand. "Yes, you girls go ahead. I'll be at Ginny's. Shall I tell James to pop over?"

"NO!" I immediately said.

Mum eyed me oddly, frowning. "Why not?"

"Because … because, um, he …" I floundered.

"Because Ben told me that James and he were meeting up later this evening, so he was going to relax at home," cut in Charlotte smoothly.

Mum looked at us warily. "Okay," she said after a pause. "I'll tell him you lot say hi."

"You do that," I said falsely brightly. "See you later."

We hurried her out of the room and I collapsed on the sofa in relief. "Thank Merlin she bought that," I said.

"I'm good, aren't I?" said Char grinning.

"So, shall we decorate this tree?" Miranda said.

"Yes, let's do that!" I said exultantly. "Okay, Miranda you do the tinsel, I'll do ornaments, and Char you do the candles and lights."

"Done," said Char.

We started stringing the tree with strands of lights and garland and throwing tinsel on it. It finally started to look like a proper Christmas tree. I hung ornaments of angels, pictures of Ian and me (from when we were little and dressed in these stupid holiday outfits), decorated ball ornaments, stars, and ugly clay ones that were smeared with red and green paint that Ian and I made when we were younger.

"Char, throw me that gold ornament, will you?" I asked Char from my place next to the tree. She tossed it to me and I added it to the tree.

Miranda charmed the lights and the tree was starting to look excellent. In the mid-evening glow, the tree stood out, lights and ornaments gleaming. It emitted a piney aroma that was so Christmasy and I felt tranquil for the first time in ages. It was that calm that fills you on an evening by the tree, a knowledge that Christmas is soon and magic really _does _happen.

And yes, I do know I'm a witch.

It's that _other _sort of magic that you can believe in – only as a kid. The kind that made you believe so strongly in Santa all those years.

"Char, Miranda, look at the tree," I said.

"I can see it," said Miranda confusedly.

"No, just _look._"

And they did.

I think they saw what I meant. That indescribable Christmas feeling.

It only happens once a year.

It was the day of the Potters' party.

More importantly, the day I'd see James. Oh, fuck.

I flicked my wand to curl my hair (the trick Char taught me) and reapplied one last coat of mascara. I tottered over in my heels to grab my clutch and a shawl (it was bloody December, after all). My dress was a shimmery deep red, almost the color of wine, and it was strapless.

"Milla!" I heard Dad calling up the steps. "SARAH! It's time to go."

God. He was so bloody impatient.

"Coming!" I shouted, hurrying down the stairs (but taking care not to fall headfirst and plummet to my imminent death).

"Dearest, you look gorgeous," said Mum as she saw me.

"You don't look too shabby either," I said, admiring her champagne-colored dress and elegant updo.

"Ian, let's go, sweetie, shall we?" Mum said. She grabbed his arm for Side-Along Apparition. My dad and I Apparated ourselves (I _loved _being of age) to the Potters'.

Dad rang the doorbell.

Harry opened the door wearing donned in his finest. "Hi, you lot!" he said warmly.

"Hi, Harry, How goes it?" asked Dad genially.

"Brilliant," Harry replied, ushering us in.

Their house was festooned with fairy lights and they had a large tree, decorated with colorful ornaments, candle, and tinsel, in the center of their family room. Ivy was hanging in the air, suspended by magic. People were chatting in small groups, decked out in their holiday finest. The general air of merriment and good cheer was pervasive.

Ginny spotted us and hurried over, in a green dress and her hair up. "Sarah! Ed! You look lovely. So glad you're here. Hi, Milla, Ian, Happy Christmas. You can go find my horrible children in their father's study, skulking to avoid the party. Oh, and Charlotte, Miranda, Luke, and Ben are already there."

"Thanks, Ginny," I said with a smile, pulling Ian by the ear toward Harry's study.

"Now, you're going to go in and tell Miranda and Charlotte to leave and come find me who will be at the drinks table. I don't want to have to see James," I said with a significant look.

"Ugh. Okay. But you owe me for –"

As Ian said this, Charlotte and Miranda were ambling out of Harry's study, laughing and beaming at one another. Miranda saw me and her grin widened. "Merlin! Milla you look gorgeous!"

"Thank you!" I said, pleased. "You too. I was just about to send Ian to come get you."

"Ah," said Char comprehendingly. "James already asked after you."

"Ugh. I can't face him right now. Not now. Not like this. And I don't feel like wrecking my Christmas." I grimaced.

"Champagne?" Char asked, handing me a glass. I took it gratefully and took a large sip. Good. This is exactly what I needed.

"So what are you lot doing before you come over to my house tomorrow?" I asked.

As they replied, I tuned them out, silently wondering where James was. A part of me wanted him to seek me out and another wanted him to stay the hell away from me, to let me get over him in peace. The latter option was ostensibly better for me – so my predicament could (hopefully) go away. I nodded, smiling, at their responses, but I was lost in my thoughts.

"So we'll be over at six for dinner," Charlotte was saying, waving her champagne flute. "And I'll be –"

"Milla." Charlotte stopped mid-sentence and gaped at James, who was standing in front of us, staring at me. His dark eyes were fixed on me and they were filled with a strange intensity, one I'd never seen before. He looked rather dishy, actually, in his button-down shirt and nice pants instead of the usual crap he wears.

_Focus_, I commanded myself.

Miranda looked curiously on, a wary expression on her face.

"We need to talk," he said gravely, his eyes never leaving mine.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

"Okay," I said hesitantly, fiddling with my champagne glass.

"Shall we?" said James, grabbing my arm and gently leading me away from Char and Miranda. "We'll be back in a bit," he added to Char and Miranda over his shoulder.

His hand on my arm burned like a brand, sending tingles through my body. I frowned slightly. It irked me how me could affect me so much and so damn quickly with so little effort.

He led me up the stairs to his room and shut the door. I stood silently by his dresser, waiting for him to speak.

"Okay, we need to talk," he started, his lightly freckled face showing his anxiety and concern and … something more. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"So I gather," I replied, still waiting.

"I know … I know we've been a bit off since, well, the whole thing when you and I … you know. And then the whole episode with the mistletoe, it's just been a disaster," he said, grimacing.

Great. He was going to give me the "you're my mate and I love you, but just not like _that_" speech. I would have to accept his friendship and maybe he would forget this whole ordeal. And we could move on. Hopefully in twenty years or so.

But I couldn't live like that. He needed to know. I needed to tell him.

"James," I said, wringing my hands. "I'm going to talk and you need to listen. Without speaking or interjecting, as I know you usually do. What I'm going to say is difficult for me, so I'd appreciate it if you just let me get on with it. And even if at the end you are completely freaked out and want nothing to do with me …. Well, just listen."

He looked a bit alarmed. But mostly perplexed.

I forced myself to look him in the eye.

"James, we've been best friends for a long time. Since we were little. And I want nothing to change that. You're my closest mate and you know me better than anyone," I began nervously.

He nodded somberly, still confused.

"But lately, I've developed feelings for you" – I forced myself to keep facing him – " and I haven't had a clue what to do. I've … I've fallen in love with you," I said quietly, looking at him, unshed tears forming in my eyes. "And I'm sure I'm completely obvious about it and I'm sorry that I now am inundating you with this burdensome information and I'm fucking up our friendship, but I had to tell you. I'm sorry," I said, my voice thickening with emotion.

James was looking at me intensely. "Milla –"

"No, James," I said sharply, my voice breaking. "Please, just listen to me. I need to say this. I know you don't feel the same way about me. I understand. You don't see me that way and –"

"Milla, listen, I –" he interrupted.

"_James_," I said, tears threatening to fall. My embarrassingly pleading voice shut him up.

"I think," I continued, "it would be best if you left me alone. For the sake of our friendship, if anything is left or can be salvaged. Maybe in time … I won't feel this way anymore and we can try to go back to the way we were."

Tears began to fall. I couldn't hold them back any longer.

"Please, Milla, will you just –"

"I'm serious. Let me talk," I said. "So what I'm asking you to do … for your sake, for both our sakes, is to leave me alone. We shouldn't talk for a while or see each other. I know it'll be hard because of everything we've been through and our mutual friends, but I think it's best that we –"

"_Camilla_," he said, taking a step forward, his eyes smoldering. "Shut up and listen to me."

I shut my mouth, tears flowing down my face, bracing myself for his agreement to what I said. I swiped furiously at the tears.

"You won't let me speak," he said … almost tenderly, his eyes never leaving mine. "You've got it all wrong."

"What?" I said, confused.

"Milla, I could never _not _speak to you. You're my best mate. You're my family, for fuck's sake, as much as I love the circus I live with."

"But –" I interrupted.

He gave a small laugh. "Shut up, you stupid bint. The reason you're wrong is that ever since you're birthday I've realized I fancied you. And ever since we kissed, I realized I'd somehow, inexplicably, fallen in love with you."

I looked up at him in wonderment. His expression was so loving and intense that I felt the breath leave my body. "You do?" I breathed.

"I do," he whispered back, so close I could feel his warm breath on my face as he said the words.

With that, his lips captured mine and I wrapped my arms instinctively around his neck. He put his hands on my waist, pulling me to him. His tongue explored my mouth and I groaned into the kiss. Where in the hell did he learn to do this?

Oh, _God. _

My breathing hitched. I twined my hands in his hair as he began to lightly kiss my neck and he nipped at the hollow of my collarbone. He moved his lips back up my neck and nipped at my ear.

"I love you," he said in a low tone, and I shivered in delight.

I responded by kissing him firmly on the lips. I pulled away slightly, looking at him intensely. "I love you too."

He smiled and I kissed him again. He groaned deeply and pulled my hips to his. I wrapped my legs around his waist, still snogging furiously. He emitted a growl, cupping my bottom. He walked over to the bed, me still attached tightly to him, and pushed me down, and leaning over me.

I put my hands on his shoulders and pulled him down to me, crushing his chest to mine and kicking off my heels. I groaned at the contact. I kissed the underside of his jaw and he started to breath raggedly. I ran my hands along his shoulders and his back, feeling his taut muscles I'd been so avidly admiring for weeks. The material of my dress was fanning widely around me.

He buried his face in my neck, breathing hard.

I pulled his face to mine and kissed him again. His hands ran up and down my body. His fingers lightly treaded over my breasts and I gasped. Bloody dress, if only I could take this blasted thing off….

Then I remembered that we were at a party. Fuck.

"James," I said, panting. "We should probably get back before they wonder if we died."

He pulled away slightly and nodded. I felt a bit smug that he looked disappointed that we were going to end this snog session so soon.

"So," I said with a wry smile. "Does this mean we're fuck buddies?"

James looked a bit alarmed and uncomfortable. "What?"

"I'm kidding, you dolt. We're an item, yeah?"

James's face relaxed into a grin. "Of course."

He kissed me one more time and pulled back, smiling.

"Okay," I said, tapping his shoulder. "We should get out of here."

He reluctantly got off me and stood up. I briefly admired his broad shoulders and (sexy) body, and he caught me looking. Too bad I was still in my dress and he was in his formal attire…

"Like what you see?" he said smugly, eyes flashing with amusement.

I threw a pillow at him. "Shut up, idiot," I said. "And I don't think you were exactly complaining about me, were you?"

I pushed out my chest to emphasize the particular bit he liked best and his smirk quickly was gone from his face.

"HAH," I said, snorting.

He put his arm around me. "Shut up, Milla. I will be by later and you will pay for that comment."

"Later?" I said.

He raised a brow. "Yep. I was think I'd drop by say, when everyone else is sleeping."

"Ah," I said. "I knew it. You only want me for my body."

James looked shocked. "Of course not! Milla, I –"

"I'm joking, you twat," I said affectionately, smiling widely.

"You _will _pay for BOTH those comments later," he said, pulling me to him.

"Alright, let's go! They'll really be wondering where we are."

"Are we going to tell them?" he asked.

"Um, maybe our friends. We can tell our parents tomorrow."

I put on my heels again and grabbed my cluth. As we walked through the corridor, I looked up at him inquiringly and asked, "So when did you realize you didn't just fancy me?"

James laughed. "I told you already. I fell in love with you when we were snogging. That time after we fought," he clarified.

I smiled giddily. "I love when you say that," I said.

"I love you."

I kissed him hard on the lips. "Me too."

"How about you?" he asked with a glint in his eye.

"Huh?" I said stupidly.

"When did you realize?"

"When I started thinking about being Milla Potter," I said laughingly.

"Marriage already, eh?" he said. "I can smell Charlotte all over that and also, who would want to marry _you_?"

I balked slightly but then I saw his joking face and I said immediately, "I realized when I was talking with Ben on patrol and it was just so clear to me."

"It was after we snogged," I added. "The first time."

"Both were good though," he said grinning.

"Yes, they were," I said, beaming as we arrived at the bottom of the steps. James's arm around me, we walked to where Miranda and Charlotte were standing, chatting with Ben and Luke.

Charlotte caught my eye and I grinned widely. Her eyes lit up and she screamed. Ben looked curiously at her and then us, and an understanding look flashed across his face.

"OH MY GOD! HOLY SHIT! You're together!" Char squealed.

"Shut it, Char!" said Miranda. "Everyone is going to know."

"Oh," she said sheepishly. "Sorry."

Ben laughed. "Congratulations."

"When did it happen?" asked Luke.

"Just now. We went to talk …. And now we're going out," I said, beaming up at James.

"Did you snog?" Ben asked. Char smacked him.

"Oh shut up, darling," she said. "Can't you just see how romantic it is and stop being so crude?"

To goad Char, Miranda asked, "Did you feel her up?"

James flushed. Miranda smirked.

"Drinks, anyone?" asked Luke. "James, come with me."

As they left, I couldn't help but feel radiant and I beamed at Char and Miranda.

"Isn't this fantastic?" I said, smiling uncontrollably.

"It is," said Miranda, grinning at me. "Who would've thought in three months we'd all be paired off?"

"Certainly not in this way," I said, gesturing toward James, who was talking with Luke animatedly.

"Fate does funny things," said Char, taking a sip of her champagne.

"That is true. I wonder what will happen in a few years," said Miranda pensively.

"Who knows? Sometimes it's best to leave things. Look what happened to me," I said, still unable to believe my good fortune. James was mine. My boyfriend. My best friend. _Mine. _

"Hello, you lot," said Ben, arriving with Luke and James.

"Hi," said Char affectionately.

James handed me a cocktail and I smile gratefully. "Told them everything?" I asked.

"Yep. They grilled me," he said laughing.

"And you'll be over tonight." I whispered in his ear. His eyes were smoldering.

"So," said Miranda. "To us." She raised her glass in a toast.

"To us," I echoed, looking at James.

"To us," he said, his eyes meeting mine.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"Happy Christmas," I heard James whispering in my ear, nuzzling my neck. Mmmm.

I opened my eyes, stirring. My eyes focused on him and I smiled blissfully at him. "Morning, James."

"Morning, love," he said, his head still buried in my neck, his arm flung over my body.

I noticed our position – this was how we'd slept with each other for years, but this … intimacy was new. It was old combined with new. It was lovely.

James had appeared late last night outside my window. I had been about to go to bed, but once he arrived, we decided other things were more important. We'd had a rather intense snog session before falling asleep. It was rather fun, actually.

I shifted so my head was nestled in his shoulder, his arm resting gently on my stomach. "I still can't believe this has happened."

"I know," he said and I felt his chest rumbling beneath me. "It feels weird, but at the same time, it feels right."

"I know," I said, automatically grinning.

Suddenly the door opened, and Mum came briskly in, saying, "Morning, Milla! Happy –"

She stopped midsentence as she surveyed James and me. "Oh, hi, James," she said, warmly. "Didn't know you came home with us last night."

"Oh, erm, I did, later on," lied James. Maybe we could stave off her questioning for a bit, at least, with some lying about James sneaking over. Our parents knew we'd slept in the same bed for years – since we were children – but James never snuck over before. So maybe we could buy some time if we were lucky enough.

"Oh, that's lovely," said Mum, but then her eyes narrowed a bit as they landed on my face, which still had a euphoric expression on it. "Wait a moment."

Uh oh. James and I exchanged a glance.

I could tell the cogs in her brain were turning furiously, putting two and two together. "You and James were gone from the party last night for a while … you came back beaming …. I didn't _see _you come home with us last night … Milla looks unusually happy for this early in the morning …. _Merlin! _You two are an item!" Mum exclaimed, beaming at us.

I stared at her in disbelief. "How did you _do _that?"

James was gobsmacked. "Bloody hell, Sarah."

"So I'm right, as I can discern from your jaw-dropping and disbelief," Mum said smugly, eyes glittering with triumph.

I looked at James. I didn't need to tell him that there was no point in denying this, that everyone would know in fifteen minutes.

"Yes, Mum, we are," I said, allowing myself a small smile.

James rested his arm around my shoulder. I instinctively leaned into him.

"Ginny owes me twenty galleons!" Mum said triumphantly.

"What?" James asked in shock. "You've been _betting _on us?"

"Obviously," Mum said offhandedly. "I mean, come on, it's so obvious. We knew it was just a matter of time?"

"We?" I asked wearily.

"Yes," said Mum. "Ginny, me, Ed, and Harry. We've had running bets for about two years now."

James and I exchanged a look. Typical. Of course our parents would bet on us ending up together. I suddenly remembered the letter Mum had sent me a while back asking me if I fancied James. Humph. Maybe parents do know best.

"That's lovely," I muttered. Dad would have hell to pay. I only expected this bullshit from Mum (and Ginny). Those two were a match made in hell and signed a Devil's pact.

"Well, we are happy for you," added Mum, seeing my expression. "You two are quite perfect for each other."

I inadvertently smiled. We were, weren't we?

"Anyway, darlings, up and at em. We have presents to open, you know. James, darling, your family is headed over as we speak. We're spending Christmas together, like we usually do," said Mum. She gathered some clothes that I'd left on the floor (I wasn't really the neatest person in the world…) and left.

"She is the Devil reincarnated," said James once she'd left. I let out a short laugh.

"Damn straight," I said. "She's bloody insane. But she does have a point. We should probably get up."

"I don't want to," said James, pulling me down into the warmth of the bed, covering us with the duvet.

"But –" I was cut off as he began to kiss my neck. Mmm.

Maybe staying in bed wasn't such a bad idea.

"Ian, love, here's your gift from us!" said Ginny, smiling broadly as she handed a gift to Ian.

"Happy Christmas," added Harry jovially.

I suddenly remembered my gift for James. I stood up, retying my robe which had come undone and fallen open to reveal my tank and pajama pants that loosely hung around my hips. James raised an eyebrow, raking his gaze over me. I glared at him. I refocused on the task at hand. Right. James's gift. Hm. It was too big to lug into the room so I decided to bring James with me to where it was stashed – our family room, behind the couch.

"James, come with me!" I said.

"Milla, where are you going?" asked Dad with a frown. "We're opening gifts as a family."

"But James's gift is in the other room," I explained. "We'll be back in a moment."

"Okay. Hurry up," said Ginny. "We'll be taking family photos in a bit."

Joy.

But I tugged on James's arm and he followed me, curiosity written all over his face.

"What did you get me?" he demanded.

Once we got to the family room I dragged the couch away from the wall and pointed to the shoddily wrapped gift (okay, I admit it – I'm a sucky wrapper). He hauled it out from behind the couch and sat down on the ground, tearing it open. From my vantage point I could admire his bloody sexy shoulders. Maybe later –

"This is brilliant!" he said happily, examining the Snitch and Bludgers and various other paraphernalia for playing Quidditch. I sat down next to him and smiled.

"I'm glad you like it," I said, pleased that he liked his gift.

"I wish you hadn't gotten me something so nice," he said, turning and kissing me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. I pulled away briefly. "I wanted to."

"That" – he kissed my neck – "is very sweet" – he kissed my ear lightly - "and now time" – he nipped at my ear – "for your gift."

I gave a deep sigh, not focusing on his words at all, but when he produced two … tickets from his pocket, I felt curious. I grabbed one and read with rapidly widening eyes that they were tickets to the Quidditch World Cup.

"Ah! James!" I exclaimed. I hugged him excitedly. "This is excellent. We're going to have so much fun."

He smiled. "Only you would be so excited for a Quidditch game. Except maybe Char. But she's not you," he said. "She's at least nice to me."

I smacked him upside the head. "Tosser."

"That's not a nice thing to say to someone who is going to give you a gift," said James with a gleam in his eye.

"What…? You just gave –" I stopped short as he pulled a box out of his pocket. I wordlessly took it and opened it to see a charm bracelet with assorted Quidditch charms, a dog, a heart, and an entwined J and M engraved on a piece of silver.

I looked at him in complete shock. "James – this is lovely – why … when?" I said in confusion.

"I had this done after your birthday for you. If we weren't together by Christmas, it was going to be next year's birthday present for you," he explained sheepishly, looking down and fiddling with his shirt.

"James," I said with such tenderness that he looked up at me. "I love it. Thank you. And I love you."

I pulled his head down to meet mine and he began to snog me, growling as he laid me onto the ground and moved on top of me. As his hand moved under my robe and under my shirt, I stopped breathing. He cupped my breast and I had to suppress a groan so my parents wouldn't hear. Shit. My parents. Christmas. James's parents.

I wrenched my mouth from James's. "As much as I want to continue this, our families are in the next room," I said.

"Ugh," he muttered. "Okay. Let's go."

"But, love," I said, a gleam in my eye. "We'll finish this later."

He smiled and put his hand on the small of my back as we walked back to our families. I remembered to fix my robe and hair before walking in.

"Good present, eh?" said my dad, winking at me.

I scowled at him. "Yes," I said airily, glaring at my dad. "It was excellent."

"Brilliant," added James, grinning stupidly.

God. James was such a bad liar.

"Anyway," interjected Mum. "There's a few more gifts for you under the tree!"

Ooh lovely. I loved presents!

After we played two-a-side Quidditch (Albus opted out to go see his friends), Mum called us inside and said we had to get ready.

"Mum," I whined. "Everyone's coming over in THREE HOURS."

"That's not that long!" she said indignantly. "Just do what I say, darling, and there'll be no trouble."

I petulantly groaned and moaned, but eventually went upstairs to get changed. James opened my door and walked in. "Forgot my stuff," he said by way of explanation.

"Ah," I said. "Why don't you just get changed here? You can just Summon your things. I mean, you're coming back here anyways."

"Okay," he said, shrugging. He flicked his wand lazily and his clothes came zooming from his house (a few doors down).

I pulled out jeans and a sparkly top and a cardigan, tossing them on my bed. Then I pulled off my shirt and tossed it into the corner. Deciding I could just freshen up instead of taking another shower today, I turned to grab my top but stopped as I noticed James gaping at me, running a hand through his hair.

"Er, love, you do realize that you're in a bra?" he asked a bit warily.

"Yeah," I said nonchalantly.

"And you don't care?" he asked incredulously.

"No. You've seen me like this before and will continue to do so for a long time. So, no, I don't care," I said, shrugging carelessly and pulling on the top.

"Okay," said James simply. And I smiled and pulled on my cardigan.

I changed into my jeans and threw some heels on. I looked over after fixing my hair and applying some makeup and saw James buttoning up his shirt…the wrong way.

"You're doing it the wrong way," I said in amusement.

"Oh, shit," he said, staring down at himself.

"Here, let me help," I said, undoing his crappy job and rebuttoning.

"Thanks," he said gratefully. "You're a lifesaver."

"No, I'm your best mate," I said. "And girlfriend," I added, grinning.

He smiled.

"There, all done," I said, patting him on the shoulder. "Let's go down, shall we?"

James nodded and followed me down the stairs, where everyone was standing, holding cocktails and chatting animatedly.

"Miranda!" I shouted gleefully, tottering over in my heels (bad idea, eh?). "Haven't seen you since… yesterday. But it does feel like a bloody long time, doesn't it?"

"You're in a chipper mood," she commented dryly, but she had a hint of a grin on her face. "You and James going well then?"

"Yes," I said happily. "It's going brilliantly."

"Happy Christmas, by the way," she said, smiling.

"You too. You look lovely," I said, admiring her black dress.

I felt someone envelop me in a huge hug from behind. "MILLA!" came Char's voice. "I'm so happy for you. I haven't been able to stop talking about you and James!"

"It's been bloody annoying, that's what," said Luke, joining us. "It's all, 'Aren't they lovely together' or 'Are they as happy as Ben and I are.'''

"That's nice to hear you like being with me," said Ben sardonically, suddenly appearing and holding two flutes of champagne.

Char gave him a reproving look and he threw his arm around her.

"Where's Nate?" I asked, looking around.

"He'll be joining us later," said Miranda, flushing. "He's having dinner with his family at his grandparents' then coming for dessert."

"Excellent," I said. "Where has James got to?" I craned my neck, searching for him.

He was chatting with Harry but he caught my eye and raised a brow. I flushed and he smirked. I tried to look at him sternly but failed miserably and instead blew him an air kiss.

Suddenly my attention was diverted by someone making gagging noises next to me. It was Luke. Of course.

"Thanks, Luke," I commented sarcastically. "Nice to know you support me."

"I do, but not all your PDA. It's ruddy disgusting," he said, making a face.

"When you're in love," said Char with a glare at Luke, "You'll be doing the same thing." She batted her eyelashes at Ben affectionately.

Ben snorted. Charlotte sent him a murderous look. "Char, my dear," he said. "You don't usually behave like a desperate flirt when you're in love."

"I'm a desperate flirt, am I?" Char's voice was rising dangerously, and she gesticulated with her champagne glass.

"No, I just meant –"

"No, I know what you meant, Ben Thompson, and if you think there's going to be any alone time tonight you're sorely mistaken," Char said angrily.

"Oh, I was very much expecting some," said Ben sarcastically. "Cos that's all I want from you is snogging."

"Don't be sarcastic with me, Benjamin," snapped Char.

"Oi!" I decided to intervene before Char blew up. "Relax! It's Christmas, for fuck's sake."

They ignored me.

Luke laughed and I glared at him.

Miranda was looking at Char reprovingly. Char tried to avoid her gaze but she looked guilty. Miranda kept staring at Char until Char burst out, "Okay, okay. I'm sorry." 

"Excellent," said Ben laughingly. "About time. You can be so melodramatic sometimes."

"Shut it, or I'll kill you," said Char menacingly.

"Mhmm. Okay," Ben said, eyes crinkled with laughter.

I smiled at them. They were quite the pair.

"What's been going on over here?" came James's voice as he appeared at my side.

"Oh, nothing, just the usual Char antics," I said airily.

James burst out laughing. "Of course."

"Very glad to amuse," bit out Charlotte.

I impulsively hugged her. "You are a lunatic, by the way," I whispered in her ear. She smacked me.

"You've run mad as well," she added, but there was a teasing quality to her voice that made me know everything was okay.

"She has," agreed James. I gave him a look. "She's bloody mad."

"Then why are you dating her?" asked Char with a raised brow.

"Because," said James, slinging an arm around me. "She won't go away. It seems we're stuck together for life."

Although we'd just been dating for twenty-four hours, the prospect of what he said didn't seem bad at all.

In fact, it seemed pretty damn good.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

_Six Months Later _

"Love, we have practice now," James reminded me. He pushed me up off him, but I resisted, and snuggled into his shoulder, reveling in our position on the couch.

"No," I mumbled into his shoulder. "I like it here."

"But I'm the captain and we really should get our arses moving or Slytherin will whoop our arses at the next match in a week. I can't believe it's our last match at Hogwarts. Ever."

I moved my head to look up at the ceiling. "I know. It's so weird we're leaving in two weeks."

"Bloody weird. We'll be … real adults," said James wondrously.

"I know."

We sat in silence for a few moments before James piped up, "Milla, we really do have to go."

"Wanker."

"So you and Ben are going on a month-long trip to Turks and Caicos and the Cayman Islands?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yep," said Char, biting her lip and grinning. "It will be fab."

"It'll be bloody nice before starting your stint with the Wimbourne Wasps."

"I know. And since Ben wants to be an Auror, this will be good before all that intensive training he has to undergo," explained Char.

"And are you guys going to live together?" I asked. "After you get back?"

"Well, we talked about that. But we've decided to buy adjacent flats to be able to join them together if we decide to move in together. But if things go wrong, we can always go our separate ways. We think it's the most prudent thing to do," said Char matter-of-factly.

"Wow," I said, impressed. "You have really thought a lot about this and discussed it?"

"Obviously. We're out of school in a month," said Char with a wary glance in my direction. "Wait. So you and James haven't discussed anything yet?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "It's really irritating actually. I'm waiting for him to bring it up. I don't want to seem overeager or overbearing."

"But you've known him your entire life. He was – and is – your best friend," said Char in confusion. "Why can't you talk to him about it?"

"Because! I may know what binky was his favorite and when he peed his pants and his inner thoughts and shit, but this is new territory. It's weird to broach this stuff, you know?" I said, trying to articulate my feelings accurately.

"I reckon you have a point, but you should really think about what you're going to do. I mean, we're leaving _really _soon and you need to figure out your future," Char said with a raised brow. "It's very important."

"I know! I'm waiting for that tosser to talk to me about it!" I said defensively.

"Okay, but I would be looking into flats if I were you. In case he doesn't gather up the balls to discuss this apparently scary subject."

"Okay okay. I get your point. I'll look into it," I said.

"Thank you. Even Miranda has made plans," commented Char.

"She has?"

"Yes! She and Nate are moving in together. Honestly I think they'll be engaged within the next two years," said Char excitedly, nodding emphatically.

"I can definitely see that happening. She's so much more natural with him. Remember how stilted she behaved around Edgar Willington?" I giggled.

"Oh my God! Yes, I remember him. I wonder what happened to that bloke."

I laughed.

"Oh God. I am going to miss this place," said Char.

"Me too."

And we sat in silence, mulling over the past seven years.

"So you and Nate, eh?" I asked with a wink during dinner in the Great Hall.

Miranda looked bemusedly at me. "Er, yes, Milla. Brilliantly spotted. Yes, I am dating Nate Walters."

I shot her a look. "No, you daft cow! I meant, you and he are moving in together!"

"You are?" interjected Luke. "That's excellent."

"I'd run if I were you," said James with a grin. "Having Luke nearby is never a good idea."

Luke shot him a look.

"Well, you'll be just round the corner from us," said Nate. "Your flat is on the street next to ours in Kensington."

"Really?" said Luke. "I didn't even know you were moving there! This is great."

"I know," said Miranda, grinning. "I can't wait."

"I'll be happy to be done," Ben said with a pensive look. "I'm kind of … done with school, you know? But I will miss it here. It's been like home."

"I know what you mean, darling," said Char.

I darted a look at James, who was looking thoughtful. He caught my gaze and I saw something inscrutable in his eyes.

"I can't believe we only have two weeks," added Nate. "It's very soon."

"I was just –"

"Milla," said James abruptly, nudging me. "Can I have a word later?"

I looked flummoxed. "Okay, er, sure. After dinner, yeah?"

"Great," he said, unbending a little and shooting me a smile.

"Pass the potatoes, will you? I want to fling them at the Slytherins," said Luke.

Oh, for Merlin's sake. Some things never change.

After dinner James pulled me away from the others and I looked questioningly up at him.

"Let's go for a walk down by the pitch, okay?" he asked, seeming a bit tense.

"Okay," I said good-naturedly. "Fine by me."

"So, how was your day?" he asked a tad awkwardly.

"It was fine," I said cautiously, looking at him warily. "How was yours?"

"Good," he said.

And that was all.

We fell into silence as we meandered from the castle toward the pitch. As we reached the pitch, I snapped.

"Okay, James, I know you like the back of my hand. What's going on? What's wrong?" I said worriedly.

James blanched. "Um, nothing. I've just been doing some thinking …"

"About?" I prompted gently.

"Us."

"What about us?" I asked, slipping my arm through his.

"Us … after school is over. The future," he said a little apprehensively.

"James!" I exclaimed, fed up. "Stop being a dolt! I've known you for forever and you can tell me anything. Now what the bloody fuck is going through that mind of yours?"

"Well, since everyone has been talking about what they're doing after we graduate. And I know we haven't discussed it yet or anything, but I've been thinking about it. After graduation, how would you like to move in with me?" He looked nervous.

I recoiled in shock. _WHAT? _

I certainly wasn't expecting him to talk to me about our future and the first thing he says is that we move in together.

"Milla, we don't have to. It was just an idea," he said, examining my astonished face.

"James –"

"No, really, if it's moving too fast, then we can just –"

"James, would you just –"

"You don't need to explain." 

"JAMES!" I shouted. He looked at me startled.

"Please just shut up and listen to me, you great prat." He looked a bit miffed but listened. "Of _course _I want to bloody move in with you. I love you, you idiot. I was just waiting for you to make the first move."

I grinned stupidly.

His face relaxed into a smile. "Excellent. I can't wait."

"Neither can I," I said happily, putting my arms around his neck and kissing him. He moved his mouth down my neck, and I groaned.

"James, love, stop. We're in public," I half-heartedly complained.

"Mmph," complained James, but he pulled away. "When we finally live together, you and I will be able to do all sorts of things without people intruding."

He raised his eyebrows suggestively and I swatted him.

"Oh shut up, you idiot," I said, but ruined the effect by grinning.

We started to walk again, and he slung his arm around my shoulder. We fell into another silence, but this time it was comfortable and we were in complete harmony.

After a while, I said, "I just can't believe we're leaving."

James sighed heavily. "I know. It's bloody strange, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I can't believe so much has changed since we started school."

He looked down at me with an intense expression. "I know. You and me together, our best mates, everything. It's been a fucking rollercoaster, but fun. I can't believe we're old!"

I laughed. "We're not old," I said mildly. "But we're certainly more mature. At least some of us are," I added wryly.

"Shut up, you bint. Maybe I'll retract my offer if you're always rude to me," he said with a grin.

"Believe me, I'd be glad," I said.

We lapsed into another silence. The lake was glistening in the distance in the evening sunlight. Birds were chirping overhead and I felt completely at peace in that moment.

"I still can't believe we ended up together," said James pensively.

"I know. But apparently it was bound to happen. I mean, our parents even bet on us, for fuck's sake," I said.

He laughed. "I reckon so. But it's still funny. Best mates to dating." He squeezed my shoulder.

"I wonder what will happen after Hogwarts with us," I said.

"Well, we're already moving in together," James said, slipping his hand around my waist.

"I mean after that, idiot," I said, him on the arm.

"Hmm. Maybe you and I will break up and I'll marry Lucia," James said with a twinkle in his eye.

"You prat! You know what I went through while you dated her. Insensitive prick!" I exclaimed, swatting him.

He laughed, pulling me nearer him. "Shut up, Milla."

"But really. I do wonder what'll happen. If we'll last or …" I trailed off, not even wanting to articulate my next thought.

"Well, I mean, it's fairly obvious isn't it?" he said.

I looked at him curiously. "What d'you mean?"

"Well, ever since we've started dating seriously, I've been thinking about … the future. And I mean, eventually, we'll get engaged and then married, yeah? That's what usually happens," James said, running a hand through his hair.

He looked down at me warily. My eyes were shining.

"You've _thought _about this?" I asked in amazement.

James looked a bit sheepish. "Well, yeah."

"I think that's really sweet," I said softly, looking up at him. "And I've had those same thoughts for a long time."

"Well, time will tell," he said after a while. "But I think you and I are in this for the long haul."

With that, we strolled around the lake, James's arm around me.

"He SAID that?" Char squealed.

"That's pretty bloody adorable," Miranda conceded gruffly.

Char clapped her hands. "I think you should have blue bridesmaids' dresses."

I swatted her. "Shut up. I'm not marrying the bloke…. _Yet._"

"You will be," said Char knowingly.

"Hopefully, yes," I said dreamily. "He is _it._"

"The One?" asked Miranda with an eye roll.

"Yes, he is," said Char defensively.

"I suppose so, yes," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "There's nothing to be done."

"I'm so excited for us," said Char.

"I know." I grinned.

"It will be so much fun. We're going to do a cocktail party before we leave, mkay?" Miranda said.

"Excellent," I said. "It'll be so much fun."

"There's only one problem," said Char.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Who are we giving my List to if we're all paired off? That's the criteria for a perfect man!"

Oh, for God's sake.


	23. Chapter 23

_Five Years Later_

"James, darling, we're late for your Mum's party!" I called from the hallway. I shoved our gift for Ginny in a bag, grabbed my clutch, and readjusted my earring in the mirror. I quickly inspected my face for any complete fuckups – like, say, if I put lipstick on my eyebrow.

Nope, it's all good. I dropped my bag as I picked up the post, hitting my hand on the door. Fuck! What if I chipped my new manicure! I had just gotten it done for this party. Blast. I quickly checked, ensuring all was okay and caught a flash of my pavé engagement ring and diamond wedding bands. I smiled, feeling a little thrill pass through me. I couldn't believe I'd been married to James for two years. I couldn't believe that I – _Milla Hobbes _(now Potter!) – had the love of such a wonderful – and bloody sexy – man. Who was also my best friend.

It was amazing.

Hearing James's deep voice in my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist made a warm feeling spread inside me. Happiness, contentment, safety. Pure joy. "Milla, I don't know how I'll keep my bloody hands off you while we're at my parents."

I gave him a mock-reproving look and slapped his hand away. But then I whispered in his ear, "You'll be rewarded for waiting."

I smiled as he groaned. "Why did my parents decide have this fucking party again?"

"Because, they love to torture you. Oh yes, it's also Christmas Eve, you prat!"

James rolled his eyes. "Who gives a bloody fuck, when I've got you as my gift…"

"Shut it, James, your cheesy pick up lines are not going to keep us from going!"

"Damn," he said feelingly.

"Shut up, and let's go."

I grabbed his arm, and dragged him out of the flat to Apparate to the Potters'.

As I waltzed in the door with James being dragged by the arm – why did I marry that bloody git again? – Ginny, wearing a green dress, came over, beaming, and hugged me.

"Milla! So glad you made it on time. I know how that prat you live with is _always _late," she said with a laugh.

James looked affronted. I swatted him on the arm. "Mum! How could you hug her _firsti! _I'm your firstborn and your favorite!"

Ginny laughed at him. "Shut up, darling, and go say hello to your father."

But she hugged him tightly and he looked slightly mollified. I grinned and said, "Later, loser, I'll be saying hi to the freaks who are my parents. I'm sure they're here somewhere - hopefully your dad and mine haven't hared off to the library for some gin and tonics to escape the party!"

En route to the study, I spotted Mum in a black skirt and floaty top. I shouted for her and she turned around with a huge smile, "Milla darling, why didn't you tell me you were coming this early! I wasn't expecting you for another half hour. What with James being late all the time…"

I laughed. "So true, Mum. By the way, where's Daddy?" 

"No doubt in the study with Harry, fleeing any kind of social experiences. That man… don't know why I married him. So bloody unsocial!"

I slapped her arm lightly. "Mum! Be nice. I don't know how you and he get along after all these years."

Mum smiled fondly and leaned forward confidentially, "Always flirting and going away at least _twice _ a year for some _couple _time. Catch my drift, eh?" She winked.

I recoiled. "Ew, Mum! Nasty mental images!"

She grinned manically. "Don't tell me you and James aren't at it like rabbits all the time. Ah, I need some more champagne. And where has Ginny got to?"

With a wave in my general direction, she left. I decided to find my dad. So I weaved my way through the partygoers decked out in their holiday finest, past porters carrying trays, and waved at Lily and Albus chatting in a corner with their spouses, around a large, overly decorated tree, and finally found the study door. I walked in and saw my dad and Harry.

"Daddy!" I cried and walked over, tottering precariously in my heels. Humph, they seemed like such a good idea in the store.

"Milla dear. Come sit with your old man and Harry. Come to flee the party, too?" Dad said with a smile.

Harry laughed jovially. "Nice to see you Milla."

"You too, Harry," I said with a smile. I turned back to my father. "But no, Daddy, I came to make you come and behave like a normal human being! You lot should not be holed up in here, escaping human contact and –"

In the middle of my tirade the door burst open and James walked in. He saw me and froze. I narrowed my eyes. "James, why are you here?"

"To, err, say hi to my dad?" He said with a guilty look.

I knew he was lying. He knew he was lying. He knew I knew he was lying. See? This is what you get for marrying your best friend.

"No, James," I said wearily, "We all know you're here to avoid socializing. Well, too bloody bad. Say hello to your dad and then _off we go._" I gave him a stern look before letting him clap his dad on the back. Then I promptly grabbed his arm in an iron grip and dragged him back out to civilization. "James, socialize, or you _won't get rewarded _later. Got it?"

James blanched. "You wouldn't!"

I raised an eyebrow challengingly. "Wouldn't I?"

James frowned. Then an evil gleam entered his eyes and he pushed me against the wall, pressing himself close to me before breathing in my ear, "You wouldn't."

I involuntarily reacted to his warm breath on my ear and the proximity of his body.

Damn him.

"Damn you!"

James pulled back and grinned evilly. "See, told you!"

He kissed me quickly and then wrapped an arm around my shoulders, guiding me back to the party. I threw him a look over my arm and walked over to Charlotte and Ben, who were talking with Ian, who had brought his fiancé Laura Finnigan.

"Char! Ben!" I yelped in joy as I crushed them in a hug. "Haven't seen you since…yesterday!"

Ben laughed. "Well, Milla, we see you like everyday."

Char giggled, "Exactly, Milla, but I love you. More than this great pig who dumped sugar while we were baking all over the kitchen floor in an attempt to get some Firewhiskey!"

I rolled my eyes. Ben looked affronted. His blue eyes sparkled merrily. He gave Char an affectionate squeeze before retorting, "At least I didn't break the mattress while – "

"Shut up, Ben!" Char squealed and hit him.

Perhaps I need to explain something. Char and Ben married, last year. Quite a cute couple, don't you think?

Except for me and James, obviously.

Anyway, they married in St. Tropez with only us, Nate, Luke, Miranda, and their parents. It was really sweet and romantic. I still couldn't quite believe that Charlotte Parker Wood was now Charlotte Parker Thompson. It boggled the mind. And secretly – to me – she had listed their children's names – three, of course – Amy, Violet, and Miles. Oh, Merlin, Ben was in for it.

I mean, obviously I plan on having children too. I mean, I _want _them. And James – James would be a wonderful father. He's _so _good with our dog, Lawson.

Well, I mean, clearly that's not my only criteria for being a good father. I just have this _feeling, _you know?

Oh, alright, alright. I'll spill. I'm preggers. I was planning to spill it tonight on Christmas Eve, since all the family was gathered and such. I just need to find the perfect moment ….

"Milla? Milla!" I snapped to and saw Char looking at me worriedly.

"You okay?" she whispered as Ben sent her a look.

I gulped. Should I tell her now or save it for all at once? I can't lie very well to her. She's know me for bloody forever. Um, okay, quick. Think. Er….

Suddenly Miranda appeared. "Char! Milla!" She hugged us and said happily, "Bloody good party, yes?" 

I seized on the topic change. "Er, yes, in fact –"

Char glared at me and interrupted, "Milla has something important to tell us, apparently. Okay, we're going to the loo. Ben, dear, be right back, " she blew him a kiss as she dragged us to the loo.

Miranda sputtered, "What the bloody fuck is going on?" 

I looked at the floor. "Well…umm…"

"SPILL IT. NOW."

Merlin, I felt harassed. I glared at Char. "FINE! Okay, well, the truth is… I'm pregnant."

Charlotte let out a cry of joy and hugged me. "Merlin, Charlotte, I won't be able to have the bloody baby if you asphyxiate me!"

Her brown eyes widened. "Sorry," and she quickly let go.

Meanwhile, Miranda was flabbergasted. "Well, you can join the party!"

Ah, perhaps I should explain more. Miranda and Nate married two years ago – right before me – and she was Miranda Walters, can you believe it? Anyhow, she and Nate apparently got busy right away since she got preggers right after the honeymoon and they had a daughter, and they named her Ella. Char was godmother.

I suddenly squealed in delight. "Damn straight! This is bloody amazing."

We couldn't stop laughing as we exited the loo and James looked at me strangely. He narrowed his eyes slightly, which, wise in the ways of James, I took to mean, _So, you've finally gone bonkers, eh? It was only a matter of time, _

He's partially right.

Anyhoo, soon it was time for the annual champagne toasts and we all gathered round Mum and Ginny who would ramble on about the joys of motherhood and blessings and wishes for a happy Christmas. As Ginny tapped her glass, I finally felt a jolt. This was it! This was it! This was when I'd tell everyone. Except, ahem, James didn't know. So I quickly left Char and Miranda who looked at me questioningly as I looked for my errant husband. I spotted him with Ben – typical – and I dragged him over quickly.

"James," I said in hushed tones, "We're announcing something to your family and mine now."

He looked inquiringly down at me, befuddled, "We are?" 

"Yes, so shut up and listen."

Ginny began, with a misty look in her eye, "So this Christmas, everyone –"

"I'M PREGNANT!" I shouted. Whoops. Perhaps not the most eloquent manner of revealing the joyous news.

Everyone looked shocked. I looked at James, who had dropped his jaw – and my arm – and was staring at me. He finally managed a vague, "You are?"

Meanwhile my Mum and Ginny were whooping joyously and hugging. "YES! YES! YES! GRANDCHILDREN!" I heard them shout.

But I ignored them. I was looking at James apprehensively. "Yes, I am," I muttered, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you – I only found out three days ago – and I wanted it to be a surprise, although I suppose I should've told you sooner- before these loons and I –"

Suddenly James's lips captured mine in an expression of pure love. I grinned into the kiss and he wrapped his arm snugly around me. He raised his voice, grinning, "YES WE ARE!"

I was laughing, crying slightly (stupid bloody hormones!) and James looked lovingly down at me. I grinned up at him.

Ben said loudly, "Now we can name her Ben after me!"

"NO! Miranda for me!"

"NO! IT'S MY GRANDCHILD! IT WILL BE GINERVA!"

Char groaned and looked at me, "And here we go again."

**Thanks for reading this whole thing! It's been so much fun. By the way, if anyone's interested, James's and Milla's children (all three – yes, I am a complete sap, will be named Laura Charlotte, Henry Benjamin, and Victoria Samantha). This has been so much fun to write. Thanks guys, until next time! Mafalda.**


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